Still Figuring Out
by No1MournsTheWicked
Summary: SEQUEL to 'Could it be Magic'. Now that Harry and Draco know they like each other, what will happen next? As Harry struggles with his friends and Draco struggles with his past, will they make it very far? Slash! Mentions of incest.
1. Still figuring out

_I own nothing…Still!_

_A/N: __Hey, I'm back! O.K so I'm having a go at a sequel cuz I missed my boys and their trials and tribulations lol. Unlike 'Could it be Magic?' This hasn't been written in advance, I'm just making it up as I go along (Which is a bit terrifying) I have no more idea than you guys do what's going to happen, so please bear with me as I improvise…! (O.K so I have a rough idea in my head what I'm going to do, but this way if it turns out alright I'll look really clever lol) Anyhoo, let me know what you think and whether I should just give up now before I slaughter it. __This chapter starts a few hours after the last chap of C.I.B.M finishes.__ Thanks for reading xxx_

_Chapter 1-Still figuring out._

'_They are going to notice, calm down idiot' Harry Potter thought to himself ruefully. He was currently perched on the edge of an armchair in Gryffindor tower. He was well aware that his back was rigidly straight but he couldn't seem to be able to relax it. He pushed himself further into the seat and pressed his spine into the cushions behind him, trying to appear as casual as possible. His hands that he had planted on each armrest drummed nervously , and his eyes wouldn't stop scanning the room, never resting on one thing or person for too long. His left leg kept jumping up and down of its own accord and he had practically bitten a hole through his bottom lip. Basically he was mess. The last 24 hours had been so crazy he wasn't sure if half of it had been real. Draco, thankfully, was doing O.K and Madam Pomfrey had said he would be fine in a few days. She had basically said that bringing him back to Hogwarts had saved his life. The rate he was losing blood, Draco would've been dead within a few hours if he had been left to bleed out._

_In the early hours of the morning, whilst Draco had been asleep, Professor Dumbledore had come down to the infirmary to find Harry still sat on the plastic chair beside his bed, his head resting on his arm on the edge of the mattress dozing, his hand entwined with the Slytherin's. After gently waking the Gryffindor, he had informed him that Lucius had been arrested for the attempted murder of Draco and the suspicion of murder of Narcissa. Harry wasn't sure how Draco would feel about that, the Slytherin had so far refused to talk about his father. He was sure Draco was suffering a little from shock and was certain that he was too. His nerves were shot to bits, and his back just wouldn't adjust from being in that damn chair all night._

_Harry was brought back to the present by the sound of his name. _

"_Harry?" Hermione's voice drifted over to him and with a guilty pang he realised she was concerned. "Are you O.K? You seem… tense" He glanced up to her chocolate coloured eyes and immediately looked back down again. Worry and suspicion was painted all over her face instantly making him feel terrible._

_Clearing his throat to dislodge the lump of guilt that had settled there and shifting in his seat awkwardly he nodded, hopefully giving off an air of non-chalance. "Yeah I'm fine." He tried to smile warmly but even to himself he felt it was more of a grimace than anything._

_He felt Hermione shift and the next thing he knew she was kneeling in front of him scrutinizing his face. Ron, who up until now was engrossed in 'Which Broomstick?', looked up to study Harry too. _

"_How are things in general Harry? It feels as though we hardly see you these days." Hermione asked gently. 'That girl is too perceptive for her own good' Harry thought with a sigh._

"_Things are the same as usual 'Mione ." He murmured. He could feel his brow beginning to sweat and his still too stiff back continued to stay rigid. Hermione didn't look convinced as she scanned his face with her intelligent eyes. Ron however took Harry's word for it and went back to perusing his magazine. Glancing to make sure her boyfriend was adequately occupied, Hermione leaned in, softly chewing her lip in a rare moment of uncertainty._

"_Is it Ginny? I know it's been a few weeks since you guys broke up, and that you've had some.. difficulties.." They both glanced at Ron who was still absorbed and not listening "..with your friends. But we are all still here for you Harry. If something is wrong, you can always talk to me, you know that."_

_Now he felt really bad. Trust Hermione to kill him with kindness. Her honest words made him feel completely wretched for keeping her in the dark._

"_Hermione, I'm fine, really. There's nothing... wrong, I'm just tired. That's all. Nothing to worry about." He was aware that he was prattling and that his voice was slightly higher than normal, he couldn't seem to control the waves of nervousness and anxiety that kept crashing down on him. He felt as though he had word vomit. "I haven't been sleeping too well lately.. You know what us guys are like, we need all the sleep we can get or else we can't function. I mean look at Ron.." He chuckled with a faint hint of hysteria. _

_The frown on Hermione's face said it all. He knew he had over done it, he could practically see the cogs turning in her head as she processed his behaviour. He watched her, still attempting to smile and seem natural but he knew he had pretty much blown it. She'd be watching him closely now. Damn._

"_O.K Harry. Well, I'm always here." She smiled, although it didn't touch her eyes. Her forehead had puckered slightly like it did when she was trying to concentrate. Harry wasn't sure whether to take her words as a threat or not. "Thanks 'Mione" _

_She went back to sit beside Ron and after a few minutes began reading the book she had laid aside, glancing inconspicuously up at Harry when she thought he wasn't looking._

_Harry was sure his guilt was written all over his face. He felt as though he had 'I'm lying to you' written across his forehead. Shuddering at the thought, he flattened his fringe self-consciously._

_Harry knew he was being ridiculous, that his friends didn't have the faintest idea what was going on with him. He felt bad that it was like this but considering the alternative he was happy to let things stay the way they were for now._

_Harry was dragged out of his thoughts when a highly excitable Seamus lurched through the portrait hole, gasping as though he had been running. His face was alight with glee as he tried to catch his breath and talk at the same time._

"_Ye won't …believe…. What…I.. just…found…out!" He shouted between gasps getting the attention of everybody within hearing range._

"_What? That trying to talk after running is a little difficult?" Hermione snorted to herself. Ignoring her, Seamus continued, still wheezing slightly._

"_Old Lucius Malfoy killed his wife! And then tried to off Draco too!" He announced gleefully, rubbing his hands together with satisfaction._

"_No way!" Ron practically beamed, sitting up straighter in his seat, his magazine all but forgotten._

_Harry's back released at once and he sank into the chair. He felt as though a bucket of ice cold water had been poured over his head. He wasn't sure what to do. Should he pretend to be happy? Should he be outraged? How the hell had anyone found out so soon? Harry had only left the hospital wing a few hours ago and Draco was sleeping when he left. Surely it was too early for rumours. He kept a poker face as he focused on the conversation again. Ron was practically on the edge of his seat now looking like a child on Christmas morning. Hermione's eyebrows were so high they were almost in her hair and Seamus was all but jumping around with happiness. "Apparently someone saved him last minute, mores the pity. But he's meant to be in a real bad way. He still might die!" He almost squealed._

_Harry's stomach turned as he heard the pleasure in the Irish boy's voice. The image of Draco laying on McGonagall's rug, bone white and covered in blood slammed into his consciousness so hard he felt bile rise into his mouth. He pushed it back down with effort and tried to take a deep breath without being too obvious. It didn't matter though, no one was paying any attention to him, not even Hermione. They were all too enraptured with Seamus' news._

"_Where are you getting this from? Who told you?" Hermione asked. Harry was a little upset that even she sounded happy about the possibility of the Slytherin being in grave danger._

_Seamus blushed and cleared his throat nervously. The excitement melted away and was replaced by bashfulness. "I'm not at liberty to reveal my sources." He muttered, not meeting anyone's eye._

"_Pansy then!" Ron said, screwing his nose up in distaste. Seamus' face turned scarlet as he eyed the Gryffindors around him, all wearing similar looks of disgust. Apart from Harry of course, who appeared merely curious._

"_Ron! Shut your big fat mouth!" Seamus snapped. Ron rolled his eyes but stayed quiet._

"_Well if that pug faced little cow is saying it, then it must be true! I wonder why he did it?" Hermione breathed, the mystery igniting her curiosity._

"_Well you can't blame him for wanting to off Prat Jr! Shame he waited this long and didn't just do it at birth" Ron snickered, everyone else joining in, even Hermione was trying to hide a smile._

_Harry felt his hands grip the armchair as he fought the urge to hit Ron in the face. He was aware he was trembling but he couldn't help it. He knew he should leave before he said something he would regret but there was no way of doing this without drawing attention to himself. After all, Draco was supposed to be his enemy and defending him would probably look a tad suspicious._

"_What's up Harry? I thought you would be over the moon that we might be shot of Draco for good! This is like the best news ever" Seamus bleated._

_A surge of rage shot through The Boy who Lived and before he could control it, he threw himself out of his chair and yelled into the stunned Irish boy's face._

"_What part is the best Seamus? That part where Someone lost one of their parents? Or the part where Someone might die? I'm failing to see what's so great about the 'news'" He sarcastically raised his fingers and made quotation marks as he spoke. He was careful to say 'someone' rather than 'Draco', he wasn't sure he could say it without smiling, no matter what the context may be._

_Everybody in the common room, even those who hadn't been paying attention before, were now staring at Harry, each wearing identical stunned expressions._

_As the rage ebbed away, The Boy who Lived regretted losing his temper. 'Way to go moron, because that's not going to raise a few suspicions is it?!' He thought miserably._

_Hermione recovered first, having the decency to look ashamed. "You're right Harry, we're being appalling." She murmured, wringing her hands slightly. "Of course, it's absolutely horrible what's happened, even if it is Malfoy."_

_Everyone soon followed suit, muttering apologies and looking shame faced. Harry simply nodded and told them to forget about it. Apparently they all thought he was upset because Malfoy had lost his Mother and Harry had lost his parents and could relate. With the smallest amount of guilt, he played the orphan card. Again, it was better than the alternative._

_The impromptu party quickly dispersed, Seamus slipping away as quickly as he could, and the trio were once again by themselves._

_As he fell back into his seat, Hermione glanced at Harry sheepishly whilst Ron found his magazine and planted his head firmly behind it. "Harry are you sure you're O.K? You just seem a little more upset than…" She whispered. Maybe not everyone was convinced of his motives._

"_Mione-" Harry began only to be cut off._

"_It is Malfoy we're talking about and.." She continued._

"_Hermione he said he's fine, leave him alone. Next you'll be saying he's mad because he's secretly in love with Malfoy or something." Ron snickered, evidently tying to lighten the mood, from behind his magazine which was currently upside down._

_Harry was very, very conscious that Hermione was watching him, and with great effort he managed to restrain himself from reacting to that sentence. Only Ron could hit the nail on the head when he was being sarcastic. Of course Harry wasn't in love with Draco but it was definetly somewhere in that category that there friendship was hovering, and the fact that his best friend had suggested it, especially with the level of revulsion and humour that coloured his voice, crushed The Boy who Lived more than he thought possible._

_Automatically, Harry's face arranged itself into the appropriate disgusted expression. His stomach clenched at the thought of what he was doing. He felt as though he were betraying Draco. How could he pretend the idea revolted him when it actually excited him. Just having Draco, Him and Love in the same sentence made Harry giddy with happiness and hope._

"_Of course I'm not saying that Ron, don't be so stupid. I know Harry isn't.." and here she whispered whilst glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening, as though she were speaking something that was forbidden or rude "…one of 'those boys'. I'm just saying he's maybe more upset then I would've expected." She prattled on, trying to defend herself. Harry had stopped listening to her half way through her defence, pausing at the words 'one of those boys' with a wave of fear and nausea slamming down on him. She sounded appalled. Her mouth twisted around the words as though they even tasted bad. The thought that Harry could be gay disgusted Hermione._

_The bile had, once again, found its way into Harry's mouth and he found it even harder this time to swallow. His throat wouldn't cooperate with him as he tried to force it down and he felt it begin to burn. He was horrified to realise that his eyes were beginning to burn too as his tear ducts began to work._

_With all the control he could muster, he stopped himself from crying. But he hadn't gotten it together in time to remain inconspicuous. Hermione and Ron were watching him with identical looks of guilt on their faces._

"_Harry mate, I was only joking. I know your not a bender." Ron joked, leaning over and punching him lightly as he mistook Harry's behaviour as embarrassment. "And even if you were.." He too, twisted the words as though he were chewing a lemon "..I'm sure you would have better taste than a Malfoy!" He finished with a grin as though it would make Harry feel better._

_Harry grimaced and nodded not meeting their eyes and they took their cue to change the subject._

_Harry's mind was no longer there though. He stared at a patch of the fire, not really seeing it. He was devastated. In one conversation, his friends had basically ripped his stomach out. He never thought they would be so opposed to homosexuality. True it wasn't something that had ever crept up in conversation but he never dreamt they would be so outright against it._

_Was he 'one of those boys'? Was he gay? He knew he wasn't straight, he had fancied a few too many guys to be considered hetro. Before Draco, he had never actually come close to being with a guy though. He figured he was just going through a phase and that it would pass. No use labelling what wouldn't last, right?_

_But now he wasn't so sure. He had real feelings for the Slytherin, considerably more than he had had for Ginny, and they had been together for a year. Being with Draco had felt natural. When they had kissed it had felt as though their lips had fit together perfectly, as though they were designed as a pair. Like two pieces of puzzle slotting together. When he thought of Draco he felt overwhelmingly happy but he also felt aroused. Thinking about it, he had been sexually aware of Draco for very long time now, even when he was with Ginny, and on the few occasions that they had been close he didn't feel a fraction of how he felt when he was close to the Slytherin._

_Maybe he was gay after all._

_But that particular thought didn't do anything for his mood. If anything he plummeted further into despair. His friends had basically said it was wrong. How would they feel if they knew there was a possibility Harry was 'One of those boys'. Would they turn their backs on him? Or would they realise that he is still the same person._

_As their words echoed through his brain, Harry wasn't so sure it would be the latter._

_To Be Continued…_

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_What do you think? Yey or Ney? I know there was no Draco but he will arrive pretty soon…hopefully. I'm nervous as hell, so please be nice lol._

_Thanks for reading xxx_


	2. Thinking in circles

_I wish I could say I owned Harry Potter but unfortunately some women called J.K Rowling claims she thought of it first. What are the chances!!!_

_A/N__: Well here's chapter 2! I can't believe I only decided to write a sequel yesterday and had no plot or anything and look at me now!!! I'm having fun with this actually. I spent the walk to and from my sons school today planning the conversation Harry and Draco have, I was even speaking some parts to see how they sounded! I got a few 'crazy lady alert' looks. Ah well, we all suffer for our art lol._

_Anyway I hope you like what I'm coming up with, there will be songs involved later on as with C.I.B.M so expect a few more of my fave tunes lol._

_Thanks for reading, enjoy xxx_

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_Chapter 2 - Thinking in circles. _

_Harry couldn't shake off the sound of his friends voices in his head as he made his way down to the infirmary an hour later. He had told them that he had a headache and was going to Pomfrey for some relief potion in an attempt to cover his tracks for visiting the Slytherin. He had a tense few moments when Ron had decided to go with him to see if Malfoy really was as bad as Seamus had said, but one look from Harry and the other Gryffindor had suddenly remembered an essay he had to write and practically scarpered._

_Harry wasn't so sure that he was lying about the headache though. His brain felt as though it was being crushed by all the information it had had to process in such a short space of time. Images from the last 24 hours flashed before him in such rapid succession that it made him dizzy. Lucius, Draco, Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, Seamus… All of their voices were shouting so loud, he fought the urge to cover his ears with his hands to block them out._

_His mind kept returning to the conversation he had just had with his two best friends though. He had never thought, in the 7 years that he had known Ron and Hermione, that there was anything he could do to warrant that kind of reaction from them. One of repulsion and disgust. Apparently there was. Would they really mind so much though? Harry thought that maybe he was just taking their words too personally. It had stung that they would find something about Harry distasteful. _

_He wasn't completely convinced he was gay, but it was obvious he was attracted to guys and this was something that they found unsettling and laughable. If Harry were to be with a guy, would that be something they could handle? Would they stick by him long enough to try and handle it? Or would they file him under the category of 'One of those Boys' and turn their backs on him._

_He was thinking in circles and tried to halt it as he reached the doors to the hospital wing. He stood outside for a few moments as he tried to calm himself down. He realised now that he was trembling slightly and he was breathing far too heavily for someone who had pretty much been drifting along than running._

_With a deep breath he pushed the door open and strolled in, heading strait for the curtained off area at the back of the ward. He paused before entering the enclosure and listened to see if anyone else was in there with the Slytherin. When he was met with only silence, he proceeded to pull the fabric back and peer around, not wanting to just waltz in uninvited._

_Draco looked up as the curtain rings tinkled against the pole they were hanging from. He was propped up against a mountain of pillows, apparently trying to read something. His eyes still seemed slightly glazed and Harry doubted he was having much success. A small shy smile pulled at the corners of the Slytherin's mouth as he focused on his visitor and he shifted as though he were going to sit up. Harry guessed that manners told the other boy it was the right thing to do, even if he was half dead in a hospital bed._

"_Don't go sitting up for me. If I had half the chance I'd be lounging around too. Relax." Harry smiled as he edged his way into the make shift bay. He eyed the plastic chair that had tortured his back the night before and decided against sitting on it. Instead he perched on the edge of Draco's bed awkwardly._

_Draco paused halfway through moving and smirked at Harry. Clearing his throat slightly he replied "Who says I'm sitting up for you?"._

_Harry blushed but as Draco fell back into the same position he had been in before moving, he realised the Slytherin was making fun of him._

_The Gryffindor rolled his eyes and shook his head slightly. He wondered when he had begun to find everything the Slytherin did to be adorable. 'Hmm who'd a thought it!'_

"_Hi." Draco breathed softly. Harry looked up into his eyes to find him smiling again, his stomach did a little dip at the sight._

"_Hi." He smiled back bashfully. A moment of silence passed over them as they looked at one another, each wondering what the other was thinking but neither wanting to ask._

_Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw that what Draco had been focused on when he had arrived was a news paper. He broke eye contact and glanced down at it meaningfully._

"_Anything interesting?" He asked, not really caring about the paper but in an attempt to break the quiet atmosphere._

_Draco's eyes swept down to the paper on his lap and scowled slightly. Harry frowned in confusion, wondering what was so offending about it._

_The Slytherin sighed and silently handed it to Harry, who automatically reached out for it. As his eyes scanned the headline he understood. 'Aristocrat held for Double murder plot!' Beneath the headline was a hefty picture of a dishevelled Lucius and a rambling article of his fiendish 'plan' to destroy his family. If it wasn't so close to home it would be laughable._

"_Ridiculous isn't it." Draco croaked, his voice hoarse. Harry glanced up to the other boy to find him smirking again. "To think, Rita Skeeter is trying to get a scoop by inventing this story and she actually not far of the mark." He added shaking his head in irritation. Harry swallowed as he thought of someone else who had invented a scenario for it to turn out to be half true. He bit his lip as he tried to block Ron's voice out._

"_Do you want to talk about it-" Harry began to ask only to be cut off Draco._

"_No." He said running his hand over his face dejectedly "No. I don't think I can at the moment Harry. I don't even want to think about it." He added more politely._

"_Well, if you change your mind…You know." Harry smiled in understanding._

_Another moment of silence settled around them, only this time it wasn't so comfortable. Heaving a sigh the Slytherin glanced back up at Harry who seemed to be staring of into space, the newspaper hanging limply in his hands. A slightly pained expression creasing his forehead and his eyes seemed slightly more tighter then they had been before._

"_So, the Gryffindor's thrown a party yet?" Draco asked smiling again, trying to lighten the mood. Only, this question just served to make Harry shift uncomfortably and the look of pain deepened all the more. "What's wrong? Are you supposed to be getting the party food or something?" He prompted. His attempt at humour failed again as Harry didn't answer. Draco sighed softly as he guessed at was really bugging the Gryffindor._

"_You're feeling guilty aren't you? Did you have to join in the Malfoy bashing?" He asked, trying not to sound amused. Trust Harry to feel bad when he was keeping up the enemy charade. This time the Gryffindor glanced up and made eye contact. Draco was startled to see the defiance in his emerald orbs._

"_I yelled at them actually." He whispered, looking back down again. He seemed to curl into himself, as though waiting to be yelled at himself. Draco smiled as he processed the information. _

"_Why did you yell at them?" He sounded amused again._

_Harry didn't look up this time, apparently he had found a patch of the blanket on Draco's bed fascinating and refused to look away from it._

"_Well, they were making out it was best thing since sliced bread. I couldn't see what was so great about it. So I yelled at them."_

_Draco felt his eyebrows rise which stung his head a little but he ignored it. "I bet that went down well, defending a Malfoy. They will be prepared with a strait jacket for when you get back." Draco smiled, trying to coax a similar reaction from Harry. Apparently he had said the wrong thing though because the Gryffindor closed his eyes briefly as though remembering something unpleasant. His lips went slightly white as he pressed them together._

"_Are you O.K?" He asked the Gryffindor, frowning as he realised how tense the other boy looked. Now that he thought about it, he'd been like this since he had arrived. "You look tense." He added, the frown appearing in his voice._

_Harry's eyes snapped up to the Slytherin's face incredulously. Draco was slightly taken aback by the expression. Harry looked as though he'd seen a ghost. _

"_I'm fine?" He whispered, saying it more as a question than an answer. _

_Draco was confused and unconvinced. "Yes, you sound fine. What is it?" He was puzzled by Harry's behaviour._

"_Nothing. It's just that, that was exactly what Hermione said this morning." He answered, the look of pain seemed permanent now. Draco noticed that his voice broke as he said Granger's name. His frown deepened, and he wondered what had happened after Harry had 'yelled at them'._

"_Harry?" He said softly, pausing, waiting for the Gryffindor to look up. After a few moments his green eyes met Draco's own silver orbs. He appeared to be trying to hide the look of agony on his face. He wasn't being very successful. "Did you fight with them? Only, You clearly aren't fine. What did they say?"_

_Draco was annoyed. He didn't like the way Harry was acting. He didn't like that he was hurting and that his 'so called' friends were probably to blame. Damn Gryffindorks._

"_No we didn't fight, the opposite actually. They apologized." He whispered. His eyes were guarded. Draco realised he was holding something back._

_He quirked his eyebrow with scepticism, once again ignoring the shooting pain it sent to the wound at the back of his head. "They apologized?" He asked, disbelief colouring his tone._

_Harry nodded confidently, his face still oddly guarded. _

_Draco let out an exasperated sigh, clearly he needed to be more direct in his questioning. "If they apologized… then why do you look like someone has kicked your cat?" He smirked._

_Harry gave a one shouldered shrug and looked away at the beige curtain to his right "It's nothing" he sighed._

_Draco glared at the side of the other boys head, not liking the fact that he was being brushed off. Without a second thought he reached over and placed his index finger against the side of the Gryffindor's chin and gently pulled his face back round. He ignored the startled expression that appeared instantly on the other boy as he brushed his fingers along his jaw and down his neck, where it settled against the warm soft skin there._

_He felt Harry swallow nervously and lean fractionally into his grasp. Draco smiled gently and began rubbing his thumb in feather light circles, earning the most delicious sigh from the other boy._

"_Please tell me what's wrong." Draco whispered._

_Harry gazed into his eyes for a long moment, working out what he wanted to say. He didn't actually want to say anything, Draco had been through far too much in such a short space of time, he didn't need to be listening to Harry's fears. But as he gazed into the Slytherin's eyes, feeling his thumb drag across his neck making his stomach bubble with excitement, he couldn't seem to be able to deny telling Draco the truth._

"_After they had apologized, Hermione and Ron expressed some opinions on… some stuff. Let's just say that it was enlightening."_

_Draco looked confused, his hand had stilled in its movements as he stared at the him. _

"_What stuff? I don't understand."_

_Harry felt his face heat up slightly as he began chewing on his lip. He averted his gaze away from Draco's eyes but didn't move away from his touch. He really didn't know what to say. He didn't want to repeat what Ron had said about love, in case it made things awkward._

_His gaze snapped back to the Slytherins as he felt his cool thumb brush against his bottom lip. A small smile playing at his mouth as he said "Careful, you'll bite that off in a minute."_

_Harry's teeth instantly released his lip and his mouth opened. He couldn't stop the sentence that spilled forth._

"_I think they're homophobic."_

_Draco's hand clenched ever so slightly, and the position it was on Harry's neck meant he felt it. The Slytherin's smile melted away instantly and was replaced by an understanding frown. "Ah" He murmured softly._

_Harry shrugged again, breathing in a shaky breath as he begun to try and explain._

"_Hermione was bugging me, asking me why I was so bothered… and Ron has a habit of saying stuff without thinking it through. He joked that Hermione would probably say that it was because I was in love with you." He cleared his throat nervously as Draco's eyebrows slowly rose upward and his eyes widened a little. His hand remained at Harry's neck though, which probably meant he wasn't too weirded out by the idea. "Next thing I know, Hermione's telling Ron that she knows I'm not 'One of those Boys' and she sounded grossed out by the thought of it. And Ron punched me on the arm and announced he knows I'm not a…bender._

"_I just wasn't expecting it. It's not a subject that's ever come up before and…it stung a little." He shrugged once again. He could feel himself wanting to cry and was completely mortified by it. He could feel the ominous burn in his nose and the back of his throat, and his eyes began to itch. By sheer will alone he managed to force it away, knowing that the Slytherin was watching him. He felt Draco's cool fingers slide round to the back of his neck and pull him forward until he was resting his forehead against his own._

"_What if I am…gay? I'll lose them, won't I?" He whispered, staring deep into Draco's silver eyes._

_Draco held the eye contact and stared back just as deeply as Harry. He didn't know what to tell him. He wanted to say that of course he wouldn't lose them, that they would see him the same as they always had, but he honestly didn't know if they would. He didn't want to give Harry any false hope. What he wanted to do was grab him and hug the life out of him, to try and take away the agony that was clouding his emerald eyes. _

"_Hey. What happened to just being Hamlet, huh? No labels remember." He breathed, bringing his left hand up to cup the side of Harry's face. The guilt he felt for not easing the Gryffindor's fears melted away as a small watery smile pulled at the corners of Harry's mouth._

"_Well someone told me that I'd get labelled anyway." He croaked softly._

_Draco chuckled as Harry recalled the conversation that had taken place months before._

"_Sounds like an intelligent guy." The Slytherin whispered causing the other boy to shiver slightly as his breath washed over his face._

_Harry's eyes fluttered closed and his hands drifted up to rest on the tops of Draco's arms, stroking them slightly with a sigh._

"_Yeah, he's pretty great." Harry whispered, his lips brushing the other boy's as he spoke._

"_Yeah." Draco murmured "I know someone like that too." speaking against Harry's mouth. Neither seemed bold enough to apply enough pressure to turn it into a kiss as their lips rested against each other. _

_Harry smiled slightly and Draco, feeling the motion, mimicked it. Breathing ever so slightly heavier than normal Draco cleared his throat softly and swallowed._

"_Harry." He whispered, his lips once again feathering across the Gryffindors._

"_Hmm?" Harry's non committal noise vibrated across Draco's mouth causing his eyes to drift closed._

"_Will you kiss me already." He breathed. And without even waiting for Harry to respond to the demand, he pressed his lips firmly against the other boys and sighed softly with relief as he felt Harry apply just as much pressure._

_The last thought Harry processed before Draco invaded his ever sense was…_

_Yeah…I'm definetly one of those boys._

_To be Continued…_

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_A/N: What d'ya think? The kiss they share and the build up is exactly the same as the first kiss I shared with my ex. I can still remember it clearly after 5 years and even though I hate him now, I felt it was perfect so I gave to Harry and Draco to share lol._

_As I'm more free to write whatever the hell I want with this, rather than working with something I've already scripted, I will be using a lot of my own experiences for it. I'm morbidly excited about a later chapter that I have planned, which will be almost word verbatim to a conversation I had with someone and is pretty hardcore, so stick around long enough for that at least lol._

_Anyway, Thanks for reading x_


	3. Breakfast at Hogwarts

_I own nothing. Really._

_A/N__: Well here is chapter 3. I've had a few problems with it (Those of the self conscious, over critical kind!) but my faith is restored that it's on the right track and going in the right direction. Thanks for reading, enjoy xxx_

_Additional A/N__: Missing: One best friend. Usually answers to the name Jamie. Might be found wearing my favourite pink Fred Perry hoodie (that I lent him ages ago and haven__'__t seen since, the swine!), listening to Celine Dion and moaning about his boyfriend. Last seen buggering off to Gran Canaria on holiday. If found, please keep distracted with alcohol til collection. Thank you lol_

_**A big shout out to the lovely Meghan7474 who I asked a massive favour of and she delivered, I**__**'**__**m so glad you liked it. Big Love little sis!**_

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Chapter 3 - Breakfast at Hogwarts…Pass the jam please?!

**Harry**

Harry was nervous. He was sure it wasn't a fraction of what Draco must be feeling but still he was jittery. His palms were so sweaty he had already dropped his fork twice, the first time during the morning announcements earning a glare from Professor McGonagall for the interruption. Smooth Harry. Because that's not going to draw attention to you is it.

Today was the day Draco was discharged from the Hospital Wing. His first day back in the main school, the first day back around people. Today also happened to be Monday. And Draco was arriving during breakfast. Talk about making an entrance.

The gossipers had been out in force in the 3 days that Draco had been in the Infirmary, and everyone was dying with curiosity after reading the Daily Prophet article. Rumours had grown more and more ridiculous as the hours had passed and Harry had even heard someone say that Draco was actually dead and his father was posing as him under poly juice potion. He had let Hermione explain to Ron how completely idiotic that particular theory was, considering Lucius was in Azkaban.

Harry had spent a sizable chunk of the weekend down at the hospital wing with the Slytherin. They had filled the free hours with playing chess and talking about random topics. He was very careful not to mention Draco's family. He had decided to wait until the other boy brought it up, knowing that he wouldn't do so until he was ready.

They had shared a few brief kisses, both shy and nervous in their approach, never wanting to over step the mark with wandering hands or too passionate responses. Each seemed content for now, knowing that the other wasn't going to change their mind and run for the door. Harry, who couldn't shake the memory of their first fateful kiss in which the sound of Draco's own name had filled him with the fear of God and bolting from the room, was careful not to make the same mistake again, even if he was pretty certain Draco would stay put this time. Best not to tempt fate.

Draco had told the Gryffindor the news of his release shortly before Harry had said goodnight on Sunday evening and had told him to save him a seat at breakfast the next day. The Gryffindor had simply nodded warily and left. The moment he was out of the door the panic had set in and he had spent the rest of the night in a frantic daze.

Harry really wasn't ready for a public display. He would never be ready for a public display and Draco, his supposed arch enemy, waltzing over and sitting with him asking politely to pass the jam would constitute as a public display.

He had fallen into a fitful sleep filled with nightmares of Draco being beaten to death by Ron with a bacon baguette.

Ron had had to practically drag Harry out of bed and down to breakfast, promising, with a look that clearly said that he was questioning Harry's mental health, that he knew that bacon belonged to a food group and not an armoury. Hermione, who had probably been warned by Ron of his strange nervous state, had asked Harry twice if he was feeling O.K after commenting on how green he looked. After checking to see if his forehead was hot and asking him if he was dizzy or nauseous only to be given a shrug in response, she had given up her nurse routine and had buried her nose in a book.

The seconds ticked by at an alarming rate and as each one passed another bead of sweat ran down Harry's spine, leaving him thankful that his sweater covered his soaking wet shirt. Sweat stains weren't the most attractive sight. A bit suspicious in November too, considering it was bloody freezing and everyone was practically shivering from the cold.

It was during that thought that Hermione's voice floated into his consciousness and pulled the plug on his stomach.

"Oh my." She muttered, surprise colouring her tone. Harry then became aware of the excited whispers and he distinctly made out the name 'Malfoy'. Oh, Crap. I think I'm going to faint.

He looked up slowly, distinctly feeling as though he were facing an executioner. The death march began playing loudly in his head and he willed it to bugger the hell off. He gulped when he caught sight of Draco's tell tale form strolling confidently into the Great Hall, smiling angelically as he made his way over to the Slytherin table.

Wait. What?

Harry felt his mouth drop open as he realised all his panicking had been for nothing. As he watched, along with the rest of the school, the other boy sank gracefully into his seat looking as though the ordeal the Prophet had described was nothing more than idle gossip. Oh, he was good.

Harry immediately understood as the smile that was plastered across his perfect, breath taking face slowly turning into a smirk. Oh very amusing. You save a guys life and that's how he repays you. Charming.

Harry purposefully looked in any other direction then the Slytherin table, all the while blushing with embarrassment. He should of realised the other boy had been joking about joining him for breakfast. Stupid, slow thinking brain.

"Look at him! You'd think he'd been on holiday or something! He looks healthier than me!" Ron spluttered from beside him. "How disappointing. Come on Harry, you must of at least been hoping he'd look a bit roughed up?"

Harry paused fractionally with his knife hovering over the butter dish. The image of Draco very roughed up - practically dead - appeared before his eyes and he shuddered internally at the memory.

"Yeah Ron. Inconsiderate swine." He muttered unwillingly.

He and Draco had agreed that, for now at least, they'd keep up the pretence of being enemies. What with Harry's fear of his friends reactions and the news about Lucius still on the tip of everybody's tongues, they felt it was best to keep quiet for now.

That didn't mean, however, that he liked having to slag the Slytherin off, even if he had nearly given him a nervous breakdown. He cringed every time he had had to agree with a comment Ron had made or laugh at jokes about him.

Draco had laughed when Harry had mentioned this to him and had told him to relax. He had said that only Harry could feel guilty about keeping up the enemy charade and had proceeded to snicker to himself.

"Yeah I know. I've lost my appetite now." the red head had huffed reaching for a plate of bacon. Harry's eyes widened slightly as he watched Ron arm himself with pork produce.

Hermione who seemed fairly interested when Draco had entered had now returned to the book she had propped up in front of her.

Only when Harry was sure his friends' concentration was else where did he chance looking towards the Slytherin table.

As he casually looked ahead, his eyes immediately landed on Draco who had chosen a seat almost directly opposite Harry.

The Slytherin appeared completely relaxed, sitting with one of his arms folded in front of him, whilst resting his chin on his other fist. The right side of Draco's mouth quirked up forming a crooked smile that was breath taking.

Harry frowned playfully and after a few seconds rolled his eyes and returned the smile with a tentative nervous one of his own. Draco seemed to chuckle slightly at Harry's discomfort and further added to it when he pressed the side of his thumb against his lips and proceeded to move it away slightly and then blew out a sudden sigh. An amused smile pulled at the corners of his mouth as he watched Harry's expression.

Harry clamped his lips together to prevent himself from laughing as he realised that Draco had just blown him a kiss. The Gryffindor was sure the gesture had nothing to do with romance and everything to do with making fun of him. Oh, It's on!

Harry propped his elbow on the edge of the table and brought his hand up to his mouth. He then frowned slightly and gazed up at the ceiling and began drumming his fingers against his lips as though deep in thought. He then stopped and raised his eyebrows as though an idea had come to him and suddenly blew out a sigh glancing at the Slytherin table in the process, in time to see Draco duck his face behind his hand whilst shaking his head slowly, a pleasant little smile on his lips.

"Everything alright Harry?" He heard Hermione ask, and he quickly turned to look at her before she could follow his line of vision.

"Yeah." He nodded, praying that she hadn't witnessed that little scene.

"You were sighing. Are you sure you aren't ill?" She asked.

"No really I'm fine. Just a bit tired" He countered and she frowned slightly to herself as he shrugged and brushed it off.

When she was once again engrossed in her book, Harry chanced another glance at Draco only to find him blocked from view. Someone was standing on the other side of the table and he was currently eye level with their midriff. He followed the line of the persons body and swallowed hard when he realised who it was.

Ginny gazed down at him, a small half hearted smile on her pretty face.

"Hey Harry. Do you mind if I…?" She gestured the seat opposite him.

Harry shook his head quickly his mouth opening and closing again and then attempting to smile. He gestured to the seat and nodded. Wow. Uncomfortable.

He still found it very difficult to be around the youngest Weasley. They had only been on talking terms for a couple of weeks after their messy break up and he cringed whenever he remembered the things he had said to her during their final fight. He felt even more uncomfortable now knowing he was already moving on, with Draco Malfoy of all people. If there was ever a reason to keep their relationship a secret, it was for the girl in front of him. How on earth could he tell Ginny he was seeing another boy. Surely it would crush her. O.K. Maybe that was a little too egotistical but it would hurt her a lot surely.

"How are you Harry?" The red head asked tentatively, apparently trying to fill the uncomfortable silence between them.

He cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter in his seat in an inconspicuous effort to see past Ginny to Draco. "Yeah I'm good Gin. You?" He asked politely, wishing futilely that this would be short and relatively painless.

As she answered, looking down as she spoke, Harry caught sight of Draco. Their eyes met and Harry could see, even from across the room, that Draco didn't like that Ginny was there. His view was once again cut off as she raised her head to look at him.

"I'm O.K." She murmured, her eyes sweeping over Harry's face.

Harry cringed at the tone of her voice. She sounded so small and unsure. As he took a proper look at her, he realised how drawn and tired she seemed. Smudges of purple sat beneath her eyes giving her the appearance of someone who had been punched. Her hair that was usually glossy and framing her face was pulled back into a sloppy ponytail that hung limply down her back.

"I've missed you." She blurted out suddenly, her eyes boring into Harry's own.

Where the hell did that come from?

He noticed, with horror, that her blue orbs were beginning to fill with tears and he internally whimpered at the sight. Oh God, please don't cry. Anything but that!

"I'm sorry Harry. For everything I said and did. I'm just so crazy about you and I can't bear…" She paused and glanced around as though she now realised where she was and how many people were around.

Harry swallowed the lump of guilt and shock that had wedged itself in his throat and turned to look to Hermione for help, who was watching Ginny with a mixture of pity and understanding. She glanced at Harry and, for a moment, disapproval shadowed her eyes.

Harry floundered as he tried to silently communicate to his friend that he had done nothing to upset the tearful girl in front of them. He was rather annoyed knowing that she had more than likely been eavesdropping anyway and probably already knew this.

Huffing in what sounded like exasperation and annoyance at Harry's blatant ignorance, Hermione climbed out of her seat and proceeded to fetch Ginny and lead her out of the hall.

Harry watched their exit, his stomach lurching unpleasantly. He had no idea how he was supposed to handle the information he was just given.

Ginny still had feelings for him. How on earth could that be when he had treated her so badly?

She was obviously expecting Harry to respond to her declaration otherwise she wouldn't of mentioned it. So what was he supposed to say? That he no longer felt that way for her? That he had moved on and found someone else? That she wasn't the right sex? Harry shuddered at the last one. Yeah, because surely she would love to hear that.

He was still finding it hard to believe that he was…gay, himself. He cringed whenever he thought of the word, let alone anything else. He knew he was into Draco. He knew that when the Slytherin kissed him that no other kiss would ever compare. He knew he liked having the other boys hands running through his hair and having his body pressed up against his own. He definetly liked it.

He didn't like, however, that he was hurting one of his friends in the process. Even if she knew nothing of Harry's secret, he was still hurting her by simply being around.

Sighing at the hopelessness of his situation he glanced back up to the Slytherin table to find Draco watching the doors that the girls were passing through. Once they disappeared, both boys looked forward and made eye contact.

Harry was sure his face looked as shocked as it felt as he gazed at Draco, who looked completely baffled and slightly disbelieving.

It was going to be a very long day.

**Draco**

The Slytherin's eyes kept flicking back and forth from Harry to the door trying to make sense of what he'd just seen.

He'd been having a pleasant morning up until then. Watching Harry practically have a heart attack when he arrived was incredibly cute, even if the Slytherin did feel slightly bad for worrying the other boy so much. He thought Harry would realise he was only joking when he had asked him to save him a seat, but the look on the Gryffindor's face when he saw Draco enter made it clear he had taken it at face value. Draco couldn't help but smirk at the other boys adorable foolishness. Silly Harry.

And blowing him a kiss had been a stroke of genius on his part. The evident amusement and discomfort radiating off of the other boy had made his morning complete. Harry mimicking the gesture was a complete bonus and the feigned innocence the Gryffindor attempted was pure comedy. However, that didn't stop the sappy smile that had spread across Draco's lips as he realised how public they were and that Harry, who was apparently afraid of his friends reactions, was daring enough to return the secret exchange.

His morning had ceased being pleasant however, when he spotted the Weaslette.

Now it wasn't that he was jealous of Harry ex girlfriend, of course not, after all she was exactly that - His ex. However he didn't like her and he didn't like that she was heading toward Harry, who had no idea of her advance as he conversed with the bushy haired Granger.

He growled slightly to himself as the ginger menace stood in front of Harry at the Gryfffindor table blocking him from Draco's view. After a few moments she sat down and he was sure he could see the top of Harry's head bobbing about slightly as though he were trying to look past her. This placated Draco. Slightly.

He still couldn't tear his eyes away from them though. He realised someone was bound to notice soon if he didn't stop. If he kept it up, at this rate, he would have been less obvious if he had gone and sat with Harry. He just couldn't help it though, it was like looking at a car accident, you know you shouldn't look but you do anyway.

His eyes met Harry's for a fraction of a second when Ginny's head ducked slightly and Draco saw the absolute discomfort written all over the other boys face. Draco's lip curled slightly as he cursed the girl for inflicting her presence when it was so obviously unwelcome. Stupid little wench.

The Slytherin continued to watch, his hands occasionally balling into fists of frustration. After all, he had chosen this seat so he had an uninterrupted view of Harry. Not so he could stare at the ginger mess that was Ginny Weasley's hair.

He wondered what they were talking about. Harry hadn't really commented much on his relationship with the Weaslette but the Slytherin knew things weren't exactly peachy between them. Draco had a feeling Harry was scared of Ginny. Not scared of her but scared of hurting her. The Slytherin guessed that she played a major factor in the reasoning behind keeping their relationship secret. He couldn't blame the other boy, he wouldn't want to have to explain to an ex girlfriend that he was gay either, Draco was afraid of crying girls and they tended to do that a lot when you rejected them. He was just a little concerned about whether Harry would ever be able to tell her and his friends. At the moment it was still early days and Draco wasn't expecting public declarations or other such nonsense. He was absolutely for the idea of keeping things on the down low, but he didn't want it to be that way indefinitely. He didn't want to have to hide something so unreal and amazing for an indiscernible length of time, having to resort to stolen kisses in dirty broom cupboards. He wanted passion and maybe romance. Being wedged between Harry and a mop was neither passionate nor romantic.

Movement across the room caught his eye and he refocused in time to see Granger carting the Weaslette out of the hall. Ginger seemed to be crying. Draco shuddered.

When they were no longer in sight, he looked back toward Harry to find him staring back. The poor boy looked terrified.

Draco frowned in confusion as he glanced toward the door the crying girl had left through and back to Harry. What the hell happened?

He didn't tell her!!! Surely not.

'What?' Draco mouthed as inconspicuously as he could. His heart had suddenly decided to run a marathon and was currently slamming into his chest in an escape attempt.

Harry's bottom lip quivered a little and the Slytherin was sure he could see the fork in his hand shaking. Who was he kidding, it was practically a blur Harry was trembling so badly.

Again. What the hell happened???

As McGonagall announced it was time for class and for everyone to leave in an orderly fashion, he saw Harry be hit over the head by Ron and practically dragged from the hall.

Growling and wishing he could hit Weasley over the head, preferably with something hard and solid, Draco stood and made his way to his first class. History of Magic.

Oh! Today was going to be a long day.

To be continued…

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Thanks for reading. xxx

P.S, I hate to sound like a review whore but my box is lonely x


	4. Please Stop Talking To Me

_I do not own Harry Potter or anything else relating to it. However I do own a rather intimidating red letter from my bank. Apparently they don't take shirt buttons as payment. The moral of this tale…NEVER TRUST MEN CUZ THEY PUT YOU IN A SHED LOAD OF DEBT WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND THEN BUGGER OFF LEAVING YOU WITH A NON-EXISTENT CREDIT RATING!!! Not that I'm bitter or anything lol._

_A/N: Here's chapter 4 ta-da. Before anyone yells at me, I haven__'__t forgotten what I wrote in C.I.B.M. I know it was implied that Draco was abused by Lucius and that still stands. And before anyone thinks it, Draco DOES NOT have amnesia cuz it__'__s lame. It will all hopefully make sense in due course. Fingers crossed. Anyhoo thanks for reading, enjoy._

_**Once again, thanks to Meghan7474 for being the least critical person ever! You**__**'**__**re positive comments do wonders for my non-existent self esteem. You**__**'**__**re a star. Big love.**_

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_Chapter 4 - Please stop talking to me._

_**Harry. **_

_Harry bit down on his lip as he tried to prevent himself from telling Ron to shut the hell up. So far Ron had moaned about Draco; and the fact that he looked 'Too alive', Hermione abandoning him at breakfast and Ginny and her mood swings._

_Apparently she had been having a lot of those lately. Groan._

_Harry had been more than willing to leave the Great Hall after the Ginny incident. Draco's unrelenting gaze and evident confusion was too much at that precise moment and he was grateful for the excuse to avoid having to deal with it._

_He had spent most of Divination staring into space, trying to figure out whether to tell Draco about Ginny or not. Surely it wasn't going to be something that the Slytherin took kindly to. After all Ginny was Harry's ex and even though it was quite obvious Harry wasn't exactly on the straight and narrow anymore, that didn't mean that the Slytherin would be immune to the green eyed monster._

_There goes that ego again. Laughable really, that he considered himself to have such an affect on people?!_

_Still, the look on Draco's face had made it quite clear to Harry that he'd have some explaining to do. Joy._

_What to say though? 'Oh by the way my ex girlfriend told me she misses me. Still crazy about me apparently' Yes, because he was sure Draco would love that._

"_Harry wake up" Ron's voice floated into Harry's consciousness. He flinched back as the other boy's fingers snapped in front of his face as he tried to get his attention._

"_What?" Harry answered shortly, glaring at the other boy in annoyance._

"_Don't look at me like that, I've been talking to you for the last 5 minutes and you've not been listening to single word I've been saying!" Ron said with an air of superiority._

"_If you knew I wasn't listening… why did you carry on talking?" Harry asked perplexed. _

_Ron seemed momentarily stumped. Apparently he hadn't thought his argument through. _

"_So what was all that with Ginny this morning?" He ploughed on in an attempt to change the subject. "Did you make her cry… again?"_

_Harry shifted uncomfortably. Ginny had been a touchy issue between the two friends since they had broken up. Ron had been livid at the way Harry had spoken to his sister and hadn't talked to him for a week after the confrontation. It had taken Hermione a lot of blackmailing (with things Harry didn't even want to think about) to convince the red head to even consider being in the same room as Harry. Things were still not quite right between the two best friends and at times when Ginny was around or mentioned, Ron had a habit of making comments that could be considered digs._

"_Er… she was a bit upset, yes. She said she misses me…" Harry trailed off feeling uncomfortable. He really didn't want to discuss this with Ron. The red head had a tendency to over react, and considering the room was full of crystal balls, Harry had every reason to feel a little wary._

_Ron turned fully in his seat to look at him, his face, which was an open book, was hard and Harry sensed the warning coming from the other boy. Ron was in big brother mode._

"_Oh? I hope your response was a little more sensitive than 'Jog on'?!" Ron said coldly._

_Harry cringed and looked away from the other boy. Shame trickled through his veins as he recalled yelling that particular phrase at Ginny during their last explosive fight, which was unfortunately witnessed by half of the Gryffindor common room. Ron included._

"_Ron, you know I regret saying that. And no I didn't get a chance to say anything, she got upset and Hermione took her out of the hall." Harry muttered quietly, distractedly pulling on a loose thread on his sleeve._

"_Oh right. So what are you going to say to her? Do you miss her too?" The red head asked, frowning in disapproval. He obviously didn't like the idea of a reconciliation between Harry and his sister._

_Thankfully at that moment Professor Trelawney announced the end of class, halting their conversation, and everybody began shuffling toward the exit. The two boys grabbed their things and followed, making their way to Care of Magical Creatures. _

_Luck, apparently, wasn't on Harry's side today because as soon as they made their way across the lawn to Hagrid's hut Ron repeated his earlier question._

"_I dunno Ron. I've not really had a lot of time to think about it." Harry muttered. _

"_What's to think about? You either miss her or you don't." Ron sniped. Harry could hear the layers of annoyance in the other boy's tone, and unconsciously took a small step away from the redhead. Matters weren't helped any when, as they arrived at Hagrid's hut, the familiar sight of Draco caught Harry's eye and subsequently he tuned Ron out. He noticed strait away that something was bothering the Slytherin. He was stood off to the side, away from his housemates. To anyone else Draco may of appeared to be bored as he inspected his nails whilst leaning against the fence surrounding the pumpkin patch. To Harry though, he looked wary, defensive. He seemed to be watching the group of Slytherins on his left out of the corner of his eye, his head tilted slightly as though he were trying to listen to what they were saying. Harry frowned as he realised the gap between them seemed to be intentional. The Slytherins stood with their backs turned on Draco and every so often one of them would throw him a look as though they were talking about him. Even Crabbe and Goyle were ignoring him. How odd. Surely it wasn't because of the article in the Prophet? Draco was the most popular guy in school, no one could lose a status like that overnight. Could they?_

…

_**Draco**_

_History of Magic. Not the best of subjects in general but today it was like dying a slow and excruciatingly painful death. And not just any old death, no. Death by isolation._

_Draco was being shunned._

_Not one Slytherin had even bothered to look at him. Even Pansy, who was usually annoyingly persistent, was ignoring him. _

_Of course Draco wasn't bothered by this. Really, he wasn't._

_Blaise bothered him a little though. He had thought their friendship had had some substance to it, that they were friends more out of genuine fondness for the other's company rather than social acceptance. Apparently Draco was wrong. Shallow bastards._

_Now Slytherins, as a rule, were not the most loyal of friends, Draco knew this. Unfortunately the knowledge of this didn't stop the rejection from winding him. He had never been alone before. He'd always had swarms of people around him. He was aware that most of the time they hung around him out of fear or greed, but they were still there none the less. He had pretty much grown up stood between Crabbe and Goyle and now that they were absent he felt strangely exposed and unprotected. Loath as he was to admit it but Draco was lonely._

_The whispers he had been trying to block out all morning once again reared their ugly head as he focused back on the room around him._

_Pansy was the most unsubtle. Apparently she felt no need to keep her voice down as she told everyone that she'd 'always known there was something weird about Draco and his family and it had only been a matter of time before old Lucius went crazy and murdered them all'. That girl could taste gossip on the air. Like a snake. Draco now regretted giving her that love bite in fifth year to make some random guy jealous. If he had known that this was how she was going to repay him he would of pierced her jugular. The bitch._

_He met each curious glance with a glare of his own. When Pansy had looked over he had smiled at her. One could say it was almost a leer with his eyes widening and the way he cocked his head slightly to the side. The girl's head had whipped back toward the front of the class but not before Draco had a chance to catch the almost frightened look on her face. Oh, he seemed to have scared the poor dear. Shame that._

_He felt a little unnerved though and it had nothing to do with his class mates or even the school at large. No, he was unnerved by himself. Since arriving back at Hogwarts he had felt different. Not physically but (dare he think it) mentally. It was like a part of his brain wasn't working properly, and even though he didn't need it at the moment, he knew it was a vital part that would be required some time in the future. He tried to brush it off as him being paranoid but he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something he was missing, and it always felt stronger whenever anybody mentioned his parents._

_He thought it was a bit strange that he wasn't heartbroken over his mother's death. The _

_overwhelming grief he had felt when she had died had disappeared when his father had taken him home. He had felt moments of sadness about losing her, for instance when Harry had told him he had written a song based on his mother's favourite night time saying, but nothing monumental, nothing that said he was in pain. It felt like it was someone's mother that had died and he was just an outsider looking in. Unaffected. Impartial._

_His father was another thing that kept nagging at his brain. He was having a bit of trouble remembering what had happened when he had been taken back to Malfoy Manor. He could only seem to recall Harry being there. Nothing else could get through. He knew his father must have been there but for some reason he just couldn't get a grip on what had happened. When he had woken up in the hospital wing, he had had some recollection of the events leading up to their supposed 'escape' from his childhood home, but bits of information had slipped away without him realising and now he was left with huge blank spots that he couldn't, for the life of him, begin to fill. It was all very frustrating._

_He had considered asking Harry what had happened, but he was afraid the other boy would think there was something wrong. He wouldn't put it past Harry to freak out and start spouting words like amnesia. He really was adorable._

_Draco was pulled out of his musings when the most boring class off the day ended and he was free to leave the confines of the torture chamber that was Binns' classroom. The drawback to this though, was that everyone was talking louder now and he was subjected to more 'Malfoy bashing' as he made his way to Care of Magical Creatures. He could hear Blaise muttering to Knot in a particularly sadistic tone. Words like 'vicious' and 'beatings' along with his name floated into Draco's ears and he frowned as he tried to recall what they were talking about. Surely he'd remember a vicious beating. Right?_

_The more the Slytherin's talked the more he wanted to hear. Apparently they were more privy to things that even he wasn't and it was his bloody life. _

…

_**Harry**_

"_Oh, look at Mr Wonderful. Not even good enough for the Slytherin's now. What a fall from grace." Ron's cruel voice ripped through Harry's thoughts jolting him back to reality. Apparently Draco's sufferings were enough of a distraction to the red head that he momentarily seemed to forget about their conversation. For now. Harry had no doubt that it would come up again. Especially now Hermione had taken her place beside them with a look of harassment on her face. He was sure she would have a thing or two to say on the whole breakfast debacle._

_Hagrid came out of his house and began the lesson without a moments pause. They were told to pair up and feed flobberworms. Joy. Ron immediately joined himself to Harry's hip and The Boy who Lived knew it was because he wanted to continue their earlier conversation. Hermione looked a bit put out that her boyfriend had not chosen to spend the lesson with her (or maybe it was because she wanted to have a word with Harry herself) and had began looking around for someone to be paired up with. Harry noticed with a pang of disappointment that the only other partner-less person was Draco. Bloody Ron and his nosy-ness. Hermione gave the red head the glare that Harry desperately wanted to deliver, and then stomped over to the Slytherin. To his credit, Draco hid his distaste and simply looked the other way as she stood beside him at the table he had stationed himself at. Harry couldn't help the bubbly feeling in his stomach as he realised Draco was trying not to be an arse to Hermione, knowing that Harry's friends were important to him and upsetting them would piss Harry off. How cute that, even though he seemed to be bothered by something, he still thought of Harry's feelings._

_**Draco**_

_Granger. Of all the people in the god forsaken class it's Granger that has to be the other odd member in the numbers. Did the universe really hate him that much?!_

_As soon as he realised he was stuck with her, he looked the other way and did his best to ignore her. Even if her hair was likely to attack him at any given moment and he was leaving himself undefended._

_He knew Harry would be watching, and probably Weasley too, and causing an argument wasn't going to help his cause any. Even if he wasn't quite sure __what_ his cause was, because he was definetly not trying to be civil with Granger and the weasel. He wasn't deranged. He just thought that perhaps Harry would be happier if there wasn't so much friction, especially with him worrying about his sexuality and his friends' reactions, plus he had the ginger menace to consider now and what she was up to, the last thing he needed was for the guy he was…kissing occasionally, to cause more trouble. See. Draco could be a good guy. Sometimes.

Granger's hair still resembled a birds nest to him though and he really disliked her quite a lot, so he was finding it a little difficult to ignore her. She wasn't helping matters by acting so affronted, like she was the one who was being put out. Ha.

He turned slightly to look at her out of the corner of his eye to find her chewing her lip. She seemed to be debating something because she kept turning as if to say something to him and then changing her mind. He really hoped she wouldn't talk to him. It was unbearable enough having to smell her disgusting girly perfume that was threatening to choke him, and have to look at her ugly shoes without having to listen to her know-it-all dreary voice too. Alas the fates were against him as she nervously cleared her throat and turned to fully face him. He ignored her. He wasn't about to obey her little coughing demand. She seemed to wait for a few seconds before sighing and turning back to her flobberworm.

"I'm…I'm very sorry to hear about your mother." She murmured softly, perhaps hoping that he wouldn't hear her.

He heard her. A wave of outrage crashed over him and he fought to control it. How dare she even speak to him, let alone mention his mother. He turned slowly and looked at her with contempt. He could feel his nostrils flare in anger as his lip curled at the sight of her.

She seemed a little disconcerted by his response but what did she expect? A hug.

Remembering his reasoning for not causing a scene, he slowly turned back to his worm and shoved a leaf in its mouth.

Apparently Muggle-borns (mustn't think Mudbloods, mustn't think Mudbloods) were a little slow on the uptake. She seemed undeterred. She obviously had a speech planned. Good Lord, he'd have to kill her. Harry would not be happy about that.

She cleared her throat again, this time the sound causing him cringe with disgust. How common. She ploughed on as though she hadn't been interrupted.

"I realise that you don't like me. At all. But I just wanted to express my condolences. It must be a very difficult time for you right now and with the school-"

"Granger. I would rather you didn't express anything. Please stop talking to me." He said calmly and clearly, not looking at her but at a patch of sky just right to Harry's hair. He could see the other boy watching with a pinched expression. He looked nervous. Probably wondering what he and Hermione were talking about. Granger heaved an exasperated sigh and turned back to her work.

"You know, one of these days you'll actually grow a conscience and realise that you don't have to be so vile to everyone." She snapped. That's when Draco lost it. For that split second he didn't care what the repercussions were of his actions, and just lost it.

"You know what Granger?" He said turning to her his face full of the fury he felt. "I will always be vile to you because you are an irritating, pathetic, small minded, ugly, bigoted self-righteous common little Mudblood. And I despise the fact that I am forced to breath the same diseased air that has been inside you. You have and will always be a joke and a travesty to magic. So get off of your soap box and back in the gutter where you belong." He fumed in a dangerous whisper before turning and storming away from the table. Ignoring Hagrid's outraged voice booming behind him, ordering him to come back and wait to be dismissed by him, he practically stamped his way back toward the castle, wishing desperately to be able to take all of that back. He had caught a glimpse of Harry as he had passed and registered the look of annoyance on his face. Oddly enough though, his irritation was directed at Granger rather Draco. Unexpected. He was sure The boy who Lived would be disappointed or saddened by Draco's treatment to his friend. Apparently not. Apparently Harry was laying the blame on Grangers bushy head. That was fine by him, she deserved it.

To be continued…

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Thanks for reading. If you want to review, I won't protest.

Additional A/N: Panic diverted. Best friend found alive and well and slagging off my cooking ability. All is right with the world again. Hurrah.


	5. Zoning Out

I own a whole lotta nothing.

A/N: After making home made pizzas with my boy (dear lord the mess, not good when you have crippling O.C.D!), an hour's worth of playing Ker-Plunk with the worlds biggest cheat and being rescued by a midget Spiderman whilst attempting an American accent ("that's what they talk like on the film, Mum!") I was finally able to use the remainder of my brain cells for something a little more Mummy-friendly…hence chapter 5! Ta-da!

Sorry it's taken longer than usual and I completely deserve a good telling off cuz I have no excuse…I was reading Breaking Dawn (again). Naughty I know, I hold my head in shame. Lol. Thanks for reading, enjoy xxx

**Big love, as ever, to all my reviewers. You make it worth searching my imagination when I should actually be sleeping or something. And Meghan7474, who devotes her time to making sure my chapters aren't full of crap. You rock!**

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Chapter 5- Zoning out. 

**Harry**

'What the hell did she say to him?' Harry thought to himself as he watched Draco turn to look at Hermione with the darkest expression he'd ever seen. The air around the Slytherin was practically crackling from the fury radiating off him. Hermione was visibly unsettled as he whispered something that Harry had no doubt was harsh and derogatory.

Bloody Hermione, always guaranteed to speak. Even when it's advisable not to do so. She couldn't help herself, it was like she had a warning signal missing from her brain; The one that said 'Shut up now before someone hits you'.

It had looked as though Hermione had started it. Draco had been happily ignoring her the last time he had looked over to the odd pair. Now, however, Draco was practically growling at her. Was she intentionally trying to get herself killed? Had she started a row on purpose in the hope they would be split up and paired off somewhere else. Or had she done the thing that Draco would of hated the most? Been nice to him.

Harry grimaced to himself at the thought, hoping beyond hope that Hermione couldn't possibly be that stupid. Her being nice to Draco, after all the years of hatred between them, was like being nice to a fist as it headed for your face, it was still ultimately going to shut you up and more than likely hurt you.

Surely she wouldn't though. Come on, this was Draco Malfoy here, she had laughed when she had found out that he had been hurt and that his mother was dead. An icy chill slipped into Harry's stomach though as he recalled how ashamed she had looked when he had yelled at her and the rest of the Gryffindor common room about it. Was she ashamed enough to try and make it right? He scowled when he realised that that was probably exactly what it was. Hermione trying to make things right. Her logical brain would have come to the conclusion that because she had been cruel towards Draco's plight being nice to him would balance things back out again, would make her feel better about herself. How selfish. Bloody Hermione and her stupid logic.

The frown of annoyance settled deeper on his face as he looked at her still standing at her table, only she was now alone. He just caught Draco's eyes as he stomped passed. The Slytherin looked furious, there was no doubt about that. But there was also something else there on his face, a tightness to his eyes, a guilty edge. Harry was a little shocked to see it and wondered briefly if the other boy felt guilty for sniping at his friend.

The Boy who Lived drowned out Hagrid's outraged voice yelling in Draco's direction and focused on Hermione who was flouncing over to where he and Ron stood. She was frowning slightly, her lips pursed. Harry was immediately aware that she was sulking. Ron however took his chance to play the gallant boyfriend. Either that or he just wanted an excuse to hit Draco.

"What did he say to you? Did he upset you? I'll kill him if he did." He babbled, checking Hermione over as though Draco had pounced on her and tried to maim her. Harry looked on with a new kind of sight. How immature and annoying his friends were. He'd never realised before. Talk about blowing things out of proportion.

Hermione seemed to like the attention which surprised Harry a little, he'd never really had her down as one of those clingy, damsel in distress type girls. How strange that he had never seen that before. She arranged her face into a martyred expression and shook her head solemnly. "I'm fine, Ron, really. It was nothing I haven't heard before, you know what he's like."

"What did you say to him? He was ignoring you when you went over there." Harry said, trying to keep the accusation from spilling into his tone. He couldn't, however, stop the scowl that was spread across his face. His friends, thankfully, mistook his annoyance at them for annoyance at Draco. Ron nodded his head along with Harry's statement.

"Yeah, I bet he was trying to get you into trouble. Was he whispering things to you?" Ron demanded, frowning towards Draco's retreating back. Anger bubbled in Harry's stomach. Had they always been like this? Had they always been so quick to blame someone else, to blame Draco? It was completely obvious that he had been intent on ignoring her. Why would he whisper things to her? He counted talking to Hermione as one of the most skin crawling experiences he'd had to endure. He had told Harry as much when he was in the hospital wing. He'd even said it apologetically. Looking at her now, with a small smug grin on her face, Harry couldn't blame him for disliking her.

"I just told him that I was sorry his mother had died and he turned on me. Did his whole evil Slytherin routine." She sighed.

Sorry that his mother had died! Who says that to their enemy? Harry and Ron both looked at her in shock, Ron was outraged, Harry was pissed.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Ron exclaimed incredulously. "Why would you even waste your breath on that slimy little Gayboy?!"

Harry felt two things simultaneously. First he was certain that Hermione's 'condolences' were more to make herself feel better than Draco. This irritated him and kind of disappointed him.

Second, he was gutted. Ron was exercising his small mindedness again and it hit Harry like a bulldozer.

"Funny you should say that Ron because he called me a bigot. A little hypercritical when you think about it, because he also called me a Mudblood." Hermione smirked.

Harry stared at her, taking in what she had just said. Draco had called her a bigot? The conversation he had had with the Slytherin in the hospital wing came back to him instantly. He oddly felt a rush of affection for Draco. In his own secret little way the Slytherin had just stood up for Harry. Amazing.

"What else did he say? I'll rip his head off." Ron fumed, grabbing one of the Flobberworms on the table and shoving it at Hermione in an attempt to look like they were doing some work. Harry stayed quiet and began busying himself with his own worm all the while listening, and hoping that Draco was O.K.

**Draco**

Draco slammed his way into the disused tower that, until a few weeks prior, had been a complete secret that only The Boy who Lived had been privy to. Draco remembered how he had felt when he had walked in for the first time. How Harry's scent (although at the time he hadn't known it to be Harry's) had assaulted his senses and he had felt the weirdest sense of protection from it. He could recall being overwhelmed that this random person had helped him in his hour of need, had selflessly handed Draco the privacy and respect he had needed to sort himself out. After all, he had just found out that his Mother had cancer. That felt like so long ago now. Like a distant memory.

Why didn't he care now? As he threw himself onto the window seat over looking the Quidditch field the same thought kept screaming in his head, repeating over and over as though on a loop. Why don't you care now?

Surely four days wasn't long enough to be considered an appropriate grieving process. She was his Mother for crying out loud. They had shared something deep, something meaningful. Something that he couldn't quite remember. He couldn't bring himself to think of the 'L' word for some reason. He didn't like to apply it to any type of relationship, even the one with his mother. He wondered why that was, why that word alone sent a chill through him. He got that feeling of absent information again, like his mind was missing something important. He sighed in frustration and leaned his face against the cool window in an attempt to calm himself down.

He tried to concentrate harder on the details of their relationship but it was as though there were a screen in front of him, and he could only catch the outside glimpses. Like he was looking at a photograph where the middle had been blacked out and he could only see the edges, the unimportant bits.

All he knew was that she was dead and he didn't seem to feel anything about it. Why?

He could just kill Granger for making him feel bad. Talking about his mother with her filthy Mudblood mouth, how dare she. He sighed to himself as he admitted that that wasn't the reason he had snapped at her. He'd felt guilty. She thought he'd be upset about his mother and was doing the whole comfort bit. Truth was he was less bothered about Narcissa's death than Granger was. He felt completely wretched at the thought but couldn't deny the truth in it. Whenever he thought of her, she seemed distant, uncaring. The strange thing was that he was sure she hadn't actually been like that, but he couldn't really be certain. He wondered if the feelings he had had for his mother had slipped away with his memories. Another blank spot unable to be filled.

His thoughts carried on in this manner until Harry swept into the room, his face bright red as though he'd been running. His eyes flicked around the room, searching for something, and when they landed on Draco his whole body seemed to sag with relief.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. Are you O.K?" He asked in a rush. The Gryffindor stayed by the tapestry seemingly unsure whether his presence was welcome or not. He looked worried, his emerald eyes sparkling with genuine concern, and Draco couldn't help but smile. There goes Harry being all adorable again.

"Careful, Harry, You'll burst a blood vessel in a minute." He chuckled softly. When the other boy didn't move from his place by the entrance, a look of uncertainty still painted on his face, Draco sighed and turned back to look out of the window.

"I'm not going to apologize. I asked her not to speak to me. I even said please. It's her own fault." He announced, frowning. Bloody Granger.

Harry sighed softly and made his way over to Draco, sinking down on to the opposite end of the seat. The Slytherin couldn't look up into the other boy's eyes. He had a feeling that as soon as he glanced into his emerald orbs he'd feel even worse for snapping at the irritating know-it-all.

"Hermione told me what happened." Harry said softly. "I understand why you reacted the way you did."

Draco chanced looking at the other boy to find him gazing back, an apologetic expression on his face. Draco wondered what the Mudblood had told him.

"Hermione may be clever but she seriously lacks people skills." Harry declared. He seemed to be embarrassed by her behaviour. The Boy who Lived shifted his weight uncomfortably. Draco smiled to himself. He wondered if Harry realised how cute he looked when he was abashed.

The Boy who Lived still looked cautious as though he was waiting for Draco to lose his composure and start crying or something. Which reminded him…

"You're one to talk. Didn't you make the Weasel's sister cry at breakfast today?" The Slytherin asked, smiling pointedly at the other boy. Harry bit his lip slightly and shifted his weight again. Apparently he was uncomfortable with making the ginger menace cry, Draco couldn't understand why. Hopefully he would move on to Granger next and piss her off too.

"Ginny." Harry muttered turning to look out of the window. "I didn't mean to…" He trailed off, seemingly unsure of what he wanted to say. A small frown pulled at his eyebrows and Draco had the urge to lean over and smooth away the lines etched across his forehead with his thumb.

It was silent for a moment as Harry looked out of the window. Draco watched him, wondering what was going on inside his head. Generally the Gryffindor's thoughts and feelings were pretty obvious due to the fact that his face was a completely open book but that didn't stop him from wanting to ask.

"What are you thinking?" Draco asked softly, leaning his face against the cool glass again. Harry started slightly and turned his face fractionally to look at the Slytherin, he seemed to be embarrassed and tense.

"I think Ginny has…changed her mind. About us. Me and Her. She said she misses me…" Harry murmured hesitantly, shrugging his shoulders uncomfortably.

Draco felt an odd jabbing sensation in his stomach, sort of like he was being poked with something. Like a knife. And it wasn't so much being poked as it was being stabbed. Repeatedly. Did he mention that the knife was rusty and serrated.

Whore. The disgusting, muggle loving, two bit ginger whore. He stared at Harry with a blank face. If he wanted to go back to the ginger menace, fine. He could do what he wanted, it wasn't like they were anything… special. So, they had kissed a few times. Big deal. So, Draco liked having Harry around. Who cares. He could bugger off with Ginny 'The skank' Weaselby for all he cared. Go get married and have loads of poor, ginger kids. The rusty serrated knife in his stomach twisted.

Harry was watching him closely, his eyes were tight as though he were expecting an explosion. Draco stared back suddenly impatient for it to be over, for Harry to walk out of his life for good. The Slytherin did something he had never done before. He was selfless. He decided to make it easier for the Gryffindor.

"I understand." He whispered, he worked hard to keep his voice even, even though the knife in his stomach was now alternating between twisting and stabbing.

"It makes sense. In the long run. She's more…" 'Your type' He finished in his head.

Harry's eyes narrowed in confusion and his mouth was open slightly as though he wanted to say something but couldn't get the words out.

"I understand." Draco whispered again. He could feel Harry's eyes on him as he stood, suddenly desperate to leave. He wasn't sure how long he could be selfless for. He didn't like it much, it hurt like hell. He began walking toward the tapestry, the knife that was done with his stomach and was now stabbing at his chest and breathing became almost impossible.

A hand wrapped itself around his wrist and pulled him backwards. He twisted to see what the Gryffindor was playing at, but stopped in his tracks when he caught the expression on his face. Harry was smiling. A huge, breath-taking, heart stopping grin spread across his face and his eyes sparkled a glittery emerald.

"You do realise that I find you absolutely, monumentally adorable, right" Harry smiled, his hand slipped from Draco's wrist into his hand and entwined their fingers. He instantly pulled the startled Slytherin forward and crashed his lips against his own, his free hand quickly burying itself in Draco's midnight locks.

Draco froze as the Gryffindor's fingers connected with the still tender wound at the back of his head. A jolt of pain ran down his back and exploded in his stomach. A flash of blonde hair whipped passed his vision and he gasped slightly at the sight of it.

Harry, who hadn't noticed any of this, took the Slytherin's gasp as one of pleasure and continued to ravage his mouth, his fingers still massaging through his hair.

This situation was too familiar to Draco, the pain was too familiar. He had kissed Harry before and he had been fine, he had enjoyed it. He wasn't enjoying this kiss though, he was scared of this kiss. He was scared but he could feel himself automatically responding to it, it felt almost robotic. He wanted to stop, he desperately wanted to stop but he was scared to say the words, to pull away. He had this crushing sense of expectation. He felt as though he had no choice but carry on the robotic movement of his lips because if he didn't than more pain was to be experienced.

Harry's hand drifted out of his own and onto his hip, where he proceeded to pull their bodies closer. His fingers gripped at Draco's side in what normally would be considered a sensual way, but to Draco it felt like Harry's hand was holding him still, preventing him from getting away; trapping him.

His body continued to make decisions without conscious thought. His hands now gripped the tops of the Gryffindor's arms, although he wasn't sure if it was too pull him closer or to push him away. He seemed completely unable to move. It was like his body had trained itself to react this way without his knowledge, and all he could do was go along with it.

Harry's lips pulled away from his own and for a moment Draco thought it was over, but seconds later the Gryffindor was kissing his neck. He cringed, repulsion and disgust crashing over him like iced water. He wanted to gag but the reflex wouldn't work. Why couldn't he function properly? Why was he so scared?

It was like it wasn't Harry there with him at all, and he was finding it harder and harder to connect the Gryffindor to this situation. It felt like it was someone completely different touching him when they shouldn't be, kissing him in the most inappropriate, despicable way. The blonde hair flashed before his wide terrified eyes again and this time his body ceased it's autopilot status and convulsed in a sharp jerky movement.

Harry pulled away from his neck abruptly and looked at him with surprise that quickly melted to concern as he took in Draco's expression.

"Draco, what's wrong? Are you alright?" Harry asked quickly, his hand retreating from the Slytherin's hair and cupping the side of his face in a comforting gesture.

Draco flinched slightly as Harry's hand made contact with his face. He stared at the boy in front of him, his wide eyes scanning his face frantically. Could he be sure it was Harry? Logic told him that he knew it was Harry. He knew it was him, the proof was standing in front of him. But why was he so scared? Why did he feel as though he had just been violated…and that it hadn't been the first time?

"Harry?" He whispered uncertainly, his voice trembling slightly. He was now aware of how rigid his body was and that it too was trembling.

Harry's eyes widened slightly, understanding and remorse appeared on his flushed face.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. Yes, it's me, it's Harry." Harry breathed, stroking his thumb across the Slytherin's cheekbone. "I didn't mean to frighten you, I just…I'm such an idiot." He moaned to himself, dropping his forehead to Draco's. "I didn't think…I really didn't mean to scare you or remind of what he…! Oh shit, I'm so sorry."

Draco's mind was desperately trying to catch up. Who didn't Harry want him to be reminded of? What had this person done? What the hell was going on?

"Are you O.K? Please talk to me." Harry pleaded. His face was agonized as Draco continued his wide eyed stare. "Can you hear me? Dray!" Harry's panicked voice finally had an effect on Draco. He felt himself begin to properly focus on the boy before him. His body slowly started to relax. He became more aware of things around him again now that he was able to think. It was like a veil had been lifted away from his eyes and he could see things clearly again. It was Harry. It was only Harry.

"Yeah. Yeah I…I can hear you. I'm O.K." He croaked, nodding his head in sharp jerks. "Sorry. I..I zoned out for a minute." Draco didn't want to explain what had just happened to him. He didn't know how to explain it. He was scared of what it was, what it meant. He couldn't understand why he had felt and reacted that way. Harry was watching him worriedly, biting down on his lip like he did when he was nervous. Draco couldn't bring himself to nudge Harry's lip with his thumb like he had done a few times before, he couldn't do something so intimate yet. But Harry was still watching him and he had to do something normal to try and placate him.

"You'll bite that off in a minute." He whispered. He slowly extracted himself from the Gryffindor and he instantly began to feel calmer. He took a step backward, taking a calming breath as he went. Harry released his lip and smiled slightly although the concern lingered in his expression. He seemed to be O.K. with the distance that was now placed between them, and took a step back himself as though he understood the Slytherin's need for space. How did he understand though? Did he know something that Draco didn't? Was this something that had been affected by the blank spots in his memory?

"I really am sorry. You sure you're O.K?" Harry asked, guilt now colouring his tone. He shifted back again, and Draco found that the tremble of his limbs was now subsiding. He smiled slightly and nodded.

"Really, I'm O.K. now. I just…zoned." He explained in the only way he knew how. He felt a desperate need to shift the focus off of the situation. He no longer wanted to think about what had just happened.

"Dray?" He whispered, smiling at the other boy.

Harry, who was now across the room leaning against the tapestry, sheepishly smiled back, shrugging. "Oh. Yeah. Wrong?" Harry asked softly, seemingly not wanting to upset Draco further. Draco thought about whether he liked it not. Dray. It sounded weird but he smiled at the thought.

"Not wrong." He whispered, realising that it had been that word that had ultimately pulled him out of his horror a few minutes earlier. It had pulled him back to safety. To Harry. Dray. Yeah he could live with that.

Harry smiled bashfully, looking down at his feet. There was still a tightness to his eyes though. "You want me to go. For now." The Gryffindor murmured. There was no malice or disappointment in his tone. Just understanding. Gratitude poured through Draco's veins, warming him. He didn't know what Harry was 'understanding' but he was completely overwhelmed that he was understanding 'it'.

"Please." He nodded.

Harry smiled and winked in a totally non flirty way. It was almost comforting, reassuring. He then reluctantly slipped through the exit and was gone.

That night, Draco had his first nightmare.

To be continued…

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Thank for reading. If you loved Harry and Draco you would review. But only if you want xx


	6. Electricity

I own neither Harry Potter nor Billy Elliot…BOOOO!!!!

A/N: Hey guys look what's here….it's chapter 6 ta-da! Sorry it's taken a while but I've been suffering a bit of a block. All fixed now though, yey! Thank you if you have reviewed. Big Love xxx

Summery: After the odd kiss shared between the boys 2 weeks previously, Harry is still trying to figure out what exactly is going on with Draco. As the Slytherin becomes more stranger with each passing day, Harry begins to wonder if all is really as it should be with other boy. And with Ginny making her presence well and truly known things are going to become slightly more stressful for The Boy Who Lived.

Song used: Electricity from Billy Elliot The Musical. If you spot it in the fic you can have a million points x

**_Big shout out across the pond to Meghan7474! Thank you, as ever, my dear. Big love to you for making me laugh all the time. BTW Rude the rocking horse is still refusing the oats….ungrateful swine! Lol. xxx_**

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Chapter 6- Electricity.

**Harry**

2 weeks later and Harry was still berating himself for frightening Draco with his spontaneous, idiotic kiss. He'd left the tower feeling completely wretched, worrying whether the Slytherin was really as O.K. as he said he was.

He really and truly hadn't thought twice about the consequences of his actions. He'd just wanted to kiss the other boy and spontaneously did so. Idiot.

He saw now where he had gone so wrong. Grabbing the other boy's hand whilst his back was turned. Pulling him up against his body. His hand in the Slytherin's hair, tugging at it when it still probably hurt from the wound he had received days earlier. Gripping his hip and holding him still. Stupid Harry! That's really the way to make someone who been abused feel comfortable.

He hadn't realised the gasp that had escaped the other boy's lips was one of pain and fear rather than desire. He hadn't registered how Draco had been trembling. All he had registered was that the other boy was responding.

He wondered why he had done that. Why, if he was uncomfortable with the situation, did the Slytherin not push him away? Why let Harry continue even though he was afraid?

Logic told Harry that years of abuse at Lucius' hands had probably taught Draco to be submissive. To just shut up and wait for it to be over.

Harry cringed when he realised that in that moment Draco had been reminded of Lucius. His reaction made it clear that that was the case, even if he hadn't admitted to it. But then Harry frowned. He recalled the look on the other boys face when he had pulled away, when Harry had apologized. He had looked confused.

Little things the other boy had been saying and doing since that day in the tower had begun to cause Harry some concern.

For instance, he still hadn't had a moment over his mother yet. The Gryffindor had been expecting a breakdown sooner or later but he was still waiting for it and it had been almost 3 weeks since she had died. If anything, Draco seemed to have all but gotten over it. This surprised Harry because he had gotten the impression that the Slytherin and his mother had quite a strong bond. Draco's reaction the day she died had been much what Harry had expected, he just thought it would last a bit longer. It was almost like Draco had suddenly stopped have any love for her. Like he no longer cared.

His attitude towards his father had changed drastically too. He had a strange sort of tolerance for him now. It was like he had transferred the love he held for his mother over to his father, which was madness considering what the man had done to him. But it was like Draco was now ignoring that part of his life now.

It was all very strange. Harry wondered if he should talk to Madam Pomfrey about it. To find out if Draco could have some kind of odd amnesia type thing going on.

"Ginny's coming over Harry." Hermione's whispered voice hissed, breaking through his reverie. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts of Draco away, and focused back on the Gryffindor common room.

Hermione was sat opposite him with a ton of books spread out on the table in front of her. Ron, who was sat beside his girlfriend, was currently trying to copy her homework. He looked up at Hermione's announcement too and his eyes flickered from Harry to Ginny, who was walking towards them from the stairs that led to the girls dormitories.

Harry groaned internally and wished he had decided to study in his dorm instead. Ginny had been a major source of stress for Harry over the past 2 weeks and he really didn't need it. He had enough of that with Draco.

She had been everywhere. It was almost as if she were stalking him but he quickly brushed that off as paranoia. She had tried a few times to talk to him but he had made excuses each time knowing where the conversation would go. It looked like, as she made a beeline for him smiling widely, that she was about to try again.

He tried his best to ignore Ron's glare that was burning a hole in his head as he smiled awkwardly at his ex girlfriend. Her smile brightened exponentially causing him to regret the gesture. Her hopes were rising, he could practically see it.

"Hey guys, hey Harry." She said breathlessly. She stayed standing beside Harry's chair as they all chorused Hello. Not a good sign.

"Harry, would you mind giving me a moment please? I'd like to talk to you about something." She asked gently. Apparently she was unaware that Ron's head was exploding. Harry was all too aware though. Ron had made it quite obvious that he didn't want Harry and his sister back together. Talking obviously led to getting back together in his book and by the looks of it he was about to express this fact.

"Erm…sure." Harry said grudgingly. He glanced apologetically at Ron before rising from his seat and following Ginny out of the portrait hole. He was going to get an earful later from Ron, he had no doubt about that. He could definetly feel a 'Last time you hurt my sister' lecture coming on. Quite unnecessary when he was so absorbed with Draco and couldn't want Ginny any less.

Ginny turned to him as the portrait swung closed and smiled her huge toothy smile at him. "Thank you for coming with me Harry. It means a lot." She said, reaching out and stroking his right arm affectionately. Oh crap, please don't think I want to back with you!

"Sure. What's up?" He enquired, casually running his hand through his hair dislodging her hand in the process. She seemed undeterred.

"I was wondering if you wanted to spend Saturday with me at Hogsmeade? It's been so long since we've caught up, it'll be nice."

Dread turned Harry's blood to ice. Oh God, how do I say no? He wanted to spend Saturday alone with Draco. They obviously couldn't go to Hogsmeade together so they were going to hang out in the tower together. He had even chosen an outfit to wear. He didn't want to have to waste it on Ginny.

"Erm…Do you think that's such a good idea? I mean, we haven't exactly been on great terms lately have we?" He said, trying not to sound mean or heartless.

She just carried on smiling "All the more reason to spend some quality time together."

No. Tell her 'No!' Don't you dare waste the outfit, she won't appreciate it! Harry tried to ignore his inner voice that sounded far too much like Draco than what was appropriate in this situation.

"I don't think we should rock the boat. You know, try too much at once. Best to keep things the way they are for a bit" He said trying desperately to sound casual instead of rejecting.

Her smile faltered a little but brightened again instantly. "O.K. Maybe the next one then?"

"Maybe. We'll see how things go, yeah." Relief washed over him like a warm breeze. Thank you God.

He began to back away slowly, away from the portrait. He didn't care if he had been studying, he'd do it later. He was going to stay away the common room for a bit in case she changed her mind and became more insistent.

"Well see you then." He murmured, waving his hand lamely. He turned and begun to make his escape when her voice stopped him.

"I won't give up Harry. I've realised I can't live without you and I'm willing to do what ever it takes to get you back. If that means waiting…then I'll wait. If that means fighting for you, I will. Whoever the opponent may be"

Harry froze with his back still turned from her. He felt his eyes widen with dread at the pure certainty and conviction in her tone. What the hell could he say to that?

"I won't give up." She whispered again and then he heard the portrait swing open and close signifying her departure.

He stood rooted to the spot for a long moment. He knew his face probably looked as defeated as he felt but he couldn't seem to be able to rearrange it. She wasn't going to give up. She was willing to do whatever it took to get him back. She was willing to fight. The image of Draco suddenly appeared in his mind and a strange sort of panic sent shivers down his spine. Oh God. Did she know? 'Whoever the opponent may be' she had said. Did she know there was an opponent and that it was a guy: that it was Draco?

Harry started running in a blind panic. He didn't know where he was going nor did he care. He just wanted to be as far away from Ginny Weasley as possible. His mind kept throwing different scenarios at him each containing Ginny and Draco and lots of anger, and his stomach lurched at the possibilities.

Before he knew it he was staring at the tapestry that was the entrance to his secret hideaway. He panted the password and stumbled in. Without looking around he threw himself onto the bed and buried his face into a pillow that smelled fantastic; Draco must have been here recently.

He listened for a moment but he was met with silence so he was quite sure he was alone. He didn't have the energy to make a visual assessment. He growled into the pillow as he thought of Ginny declaration. How the bloody hell was he going to deal with this?

"Bad day?" A silky amused sounding voice floated over to him and he froze when he heard it. He was sure he had been alone. God, Draco was quiet.

"You could say that." He mumbled into the pillow, still not wanting to lift his head. He felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and the at moment it was a little too heavy to try and lift. Stupid world!

A light hearted chuckle came from somewhere near his left leg and he felt the mattress dip as though someone had sat down on it. "I don't speak 'pillow'" Draco laughed softly "You'll have to translate I'm afraid"

Harry snorted and shook his head with amusement. Draco was a dork sometimes. With a sigh he turned his head so his face was no longer pressed into the feathery mass of comfort and looking at the Slytherin, who was leaning against the bed post at the foot of the bed. Like Harry he was still wearing his school uniform, though Harry had abandoned his tie Draco's green and silver Slytherin one was hanging loosely around his neck. He smiled a cute little half smile that usually melted the Gryffindor into puddle on the ground and today was no exception. You see, Draco had this amazing knack of making Harry smile. The Gryffindor could be having the worst day in history and all he'd have to do would be to look at the Slytherin and his face would light up. It was an amazing gift to have, Draco could make a fortune from it.

"You could say that." Harry repeated with a sigh. "Ginny." He said as though it were an explanation. Draco frowned, like he always did when she was mentioned.

"Ugh. Will it help to talk about whatever she's done or will you still feel the same? Only if having to think about her can be avoided, I will pretty much jump at the chance." Draco suggested sourly. Harry had found that the Slytherin detested Ginny. Looks as though he had a reason to now.

The Boy Who Lived thought about it. It really wouldn't help to discuss his concerns with Draco, it would more then likely increase them. He knew that the other boy, as much as he complained, would still listen tentatively to whatever Harry had to say even if it was about Ginny. But for now he didn't think it was worth making Draco worry. After all, he still wasn't sure there was actually anything to worry about.

"Nah, it's nothing." He lied, wrinkling his nose. Draco looked unconvinced but stayed quiet.

"What were you doing in here anyway? I didn't even realise you were here." Harry confessed, curling into a ball and snuggling into the pillow.

Draco smirked. "I was playing the keyboard. You were in such a huff when you came in I'm not surprised you didn't notice." He laughed, shaking his head at Harry's ignorance.

"Hmm. Well, you know me. Self absorbed as ever." He murmured. Draco laughed out loud and the bed shook with it. "Harry Potter, self absorbed? I've heard it all now." He chuckled.

The boy who Lived rolled his eyes. Ah, even Draco wasn't immune to the 'Harry is a hero' concept.

"Well, I'm glad I've helped widen your knowledge." The Gryffindor sarcastically replied and begun to pull himself into a sitting position. He didn't do too well though, he made do with slumping against the headboard. Draco watched him, still obviously amused.

Harry realised that he shouldn't have been too surprised to find the Slytherin in the tower. He had been hanging out there a lot and the Gryffindor sighed when he thought of the reason why.

"Still no thawing on the frosty Slytherin front then?" Harry asked attempting to sound non-chalant rather than sympathetic. He had been taken aback by the Slytherin reaction to Draco since his Father's arrest. His so called friends had taken to heckling him in the hallways. Draco, obviously, made a show of sneering and brushing them off but Harry could see how much it affected him. He hated having to watch Draco saunter around the school on his own, spending meal times at the end of his table like an outcast. The Gryffindor had desperately wanted to just say 'To Hell' to it all and join him but truth was he was scared. What a let down he was to his…new friend.

"Oh no, they've welcomed me back with open arms…The devil is also planning on hosting the winter Olympics in Hell. I'm especially looking forward to the flying pig events." Draco replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Harry smiled. Could that boy be anymore quick witted? He had to practice, surely.

"A simple 'no' would of sufficed." The Gryffindor chuckled throwing a small cushion at the other boy. Draco batted it away easily causing the sleeve of his white oxford school shirt to fall down to his elbow exposing his tattoo. Harry smiled. He really liked the tattoo.

Draco's frowned slightly at it and unconsciously ran his hand over the length of it. The Boy who Lived was surprised when the Slytherin curled his lip in distaste.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, leaning forward for a better look. The 5 letters of Draco's name were intricately scrawled vertically down his forearm in bold black calligraphy. It really was beautiful to look at.

Draco looked up and Harry realised the frown on the other boy's face was one of confusion rather then disgust.

"I don't know. I just…for some reason I feel like I should hate it being there." He whispered, more to himself than to Harry. The Gryffindor heard him though and a funny kind of red flag flew up in his brain. He dismissed it and replied.

"That's understandable after you were….you know. I suppose it's like a link to pain now."

The Slytherin's frown deepened and his hand tightened around his wrist. His eyes were fixed on the black letters but they were distant as though they weren't really seeing it at all.

"After I was what?" He murmured quietly. Again sounding as though he were speaking to himself. The red flag flew up again, and again Harry shoved it back down. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. Did Draco just want for Harry to say it out loud, to acknowledge it? After all, they never had really mentioned it, and it seemed as though Draco had been trying to forget about it. Maybe not though. Was he asking because he didn't know? The tone of his voice suggested that he was confused. How was that possible though? How could he not know? The word amnesia floated into his mind and he mentally scoffed at it. Draco was far too aware of everything and everyone to have amnesia! Besides that only happened on rubbish soap operas.

Harry cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly. "After your father…hurt you." He breathed, watching the other boy's reaction. Besides his eyes widening ever so slightly and his nostrils flaring fractionally, he didn't show any sign of surprise at the knowledge.

"My Father." He whispered. It was neither a question nor an answer. The red flag was still flapping about angrily in Harry's mind though. The Slytherin looked up and gazed intently at Harry's face, as though he were scanning it for something. His eyes were tight like he was trying to hold his expression, to stop it from changing into something else. Why was that?

"And my Mother?" He asked softly, his breathing was slow and deep, like he was trying to calm himself. Was this the breakdown that Harry had been waiting for? Was the Slytherin finally going to grieve?

"You never told me how she reacted." Harry said gently. He wanted to shift closer to the other boy but he held back. He made a point of staying away from Draco if they were situated like this in case he did anything that would frighten the other boy. He still hadn't forgotten upsetting him with his spontaneous kiss a few weeks prior.

"Why did you write a song about my mother? That first one, why did you do it?" Draco asked earnestly as though he genuinely couldn't understand why Harry had done it.

The Gryffindor's eyebrows rose slightly at the turning the conversation had taken.

"Erm. I wanted to do something for you…to make you feel better. The situation just made the words appear. I don't know." The Boy who Lived shrugged. "You were upset, I wanted to help." He finished with a small sad smile.

Draco frowned again. "I don't really remem…Never mind, it doesn't matter." He replied shaking his head. And it appeared that the subject was closed, the abruptness of it causing Harry's brain to falter a little. Was that it? Was that all he was going to say?

A silence passed over them. Harry watched the other boy curiously wondering what was going on with the Slytherin. He didn't remember what? Being upset or his mother?

"Harry, can I ask you something?" Draco's voiced punctured Harry's thought process and he focused on the other boy. His tone had taken a u-turn, instead of being confused and bewildered, it was now light and curious. He was gazing at the Gryffindor as though he were an ancient rune that he could quite decipher. Talk about mood swing.

"Sure?" Harry said sounding more like a question then a prompt.

"What's it like to be able to just write a song? How do you do it?" Draco asked, his eyes fixed on the keyboard situated behind the Gryffindor.

Harry raised an eyebrow and smiled to himself. He'd been asked this before. Ron had been dumbstruck when he stumbled upon Harry's writing talents. Well not quite stumbled upon. More like rummaged through Harry's trunk and found his notes. When Harry had agreed to write a song for the redhead to give to Hermione as a gift (lazy sod couldn't even be bothered to go out and buy her something) he had continuously asked 'how he did it?'.

Harry had never really questioned it before then. The words had always just come to him and he had never given much thought as to how or why.

"Erm I can't really explain it. I haven't got the words. It's a feeling that you can't control" Harry replied slowly, shrugging. Draco sighed slightly and the Gryffindor tried harder to put it into words.

"Er, well, I suppose… it's like forgetting… losing who you are but at the same time something makes you whole. You know what I mean?" He asked focusing on the Slytherin. Draco frowned slightly. Obviously he didn't. Harry bit his lip and tried again."O.K, it's like that there's some music playing in your ear and I'm listening… and I'm listening… and then I disappear." He smiled. He got up off the bed and began pacing. Yes, that was exactly how it felt, like he got lost in the music and stopped being Harry Potter. It was like he became something else.

"And then I feel a change. Like a fire… deep inside." He nodded to himself, placing his hand on his stomach for emphasis "And there's something bursting me wide open, impossible to hide"

"Sounds intense." Draco murmured. He was gazing at the boy who lived seriously. His eyes slightly wide."As cheesy as it sounds-" Harry smiled ruefully "It's like…suddenly I'm flying. Not Quidditch flying but flying like a bird." He explained, gazing at the other boy. Then a thought hit him."I know! It's like electricity." He exclaimed, throwing his hands up above his head as though it explained everything.

The Slytherin frowned in confusion "Isn't that like what Muggles use for power? Quite clever really." Draco confessed, his eyebrows raised slightly.

"Exactly, power. When I'm writing it's like electricity sparks inside of me, and then I'm free."

The Slytherin sat up straighter processing what the other boy had told him, he was still confused. All Harry had been doing was contradicting himself and babbling.

"I still don't understand Harry." He murmured.

Harry blew out a sigh and threw himself down onto the seat in front of the keyboard. He distractedly pressed a few keys as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"It's a bit like being angry." He said, still experimenting with different notes "And it's a bit like being scared. And you're confused and all mixed up and mad as hell…."

He turned his head as Draco fell gracefully onto the seat beside him. The other boy still looked confused but at the same time he seemed pleased about something. A small smile was playing at his lips as he gazed back. Harry watched as the Slytherin gently pulled his hands away from the keyboard and placed his own pale digits upon the keys.

"Go on." He whispered with a smile, and then he began quietly playing a melody that Harry recognised as one of his own. Draco must of found it on the note stand and memorised it. He closed his eyes as he listened and once again regrouped his thoughts."It's like when you've been crying…And you're empty… and you're full." He opened his eyes in annoyance. That sounded completely stupid."Oh I don't know what it is! It's hard to tell." He huffed, sagging in irritation.

Draco continued playing knowing that Harry would continue. He was sure the music would inspire him, that was why he had begun playing it in the first place."It's like that there's some music playing in your ear." Harry breathed after a stretch of minutes, his eyes distant, unseeing.

"You already said that." Draco whispered. Harry appeared not to of heard him though."But the music… is impossible, impossible to hear." He said in time with the music. His voice had taken on a soft melodic quality. He was still talking but singing at the same time. Draco's stomach exploded with delight at the sound.

"But then I feel it move me, like a burning deep inside…. Something bursting me wide open… impossible to hide. And suddenly I'm flying. Flying like a bird. Like electricity. Electricity, sparks inside of me. And I'm free, I'm free."

Harry blinked rapidly, as though he were waking from a trance. He glanced at Draco self consciously to find him smiling a breath taking crooked smile back.

He cleared his throat and shrugged, wondering if he sounded as much of a prat to Draco as he did to himself. Probably.

"That's all I've got. I don't know how else to explain…" He said, fidgeting.

"I think I get it now. Thank you." Draco murmured before leaning in and capturing Harry's mouth in a sweet tender kiss. "Electricity." the slytherin mumbled against his lips.

Harry wasn't sure what he had done to deserve the kiss but he was definetly going to attempt it again.

To Be Continued….

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Thanks for reading. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Until next time… xxxx

P.S Both versions of 'Electricity' can be found in my profile. x


	7. Drowning

I own my imagination. Everything else is someone else's!

A/N: Chapter 7...finally! I'm very sorry it has taken so long. I really struggled with this chapter because I really didn't know where I wanted to take the story. Luckily, I have now done some planning and worked out how many chapters there are going to be and what will happen in each. As soon as I did this, chapter 7 pretty much wrote itself. (I'm even half way through Chapter 8, hurrah!)

As you have probably worked out for yourselves, something majorly weird is going on with Draco. I just want to stress that he does NOT have amnesia but something completely realistic and possible for someone like him. It will be explained, I promise. Just, not yet.

Warning- There is swearing in this chapter, sorry.

_**Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing. Big Love! x**_

_**As always, Meghan7474.**__**…**__**Pcon, you rock! Keep talking to that stuffed Ron Weasley, my dear. You never know, if you are the right amount of crazy he might just talk back! Lol. Big Love, my wonderfully encouraging Beta xxx**_

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Chapter 7 - Drowning.

**Draco**

Draco woke with a start. The dream he had just experienced was not anything out of the ordinary for him in recent weeks. Nightmares were a common occurrence for him now.

He wasn't actually sure if he could classify them as nightmares though because, in reality, nothing scary ever actually happened in them. It was merely a jumble of confusion. Most of the time he felt as though the scary things were hiding from him, hanging back at the edges waiting for their moment to spring forth and unleash their power.

He'd spin around uselessly in the darkness, unsure whether he was actually moving at all, trying to search out the source of echoing laughter or angered yells. The darkness was suffocating, smothering. A sense of claustrophobia pressed down on him and he struggled to breathe. It was like drowning. Drowning in a sea of black with no hope of escape, only there was no water. No anything.

Sometimes he'd see a flash of a women with blonde hair swirling around her head. He could tell that she was once beautiful but it had long faded, replaced by a sallow, gaunt, haunted expression frozen on her face. The women was obviously dead, her blank stare was testament to that. Draco had a strong feeling, whenever he saw her, that the women was his mother but he could never be certain. The memory of his relationship with his mother was sketchy at best. He knew what she looked like, he could picture her in all of her blonde haired glory. The only problem was that he could only picture her being a Malfoy. He could only remember her as she acted in public, façade well and truly in place. He wondered if that was what she was like all the time. He couldn't remember any type of love or protection she had ever offered him, but again he couldn't be sure, he didn't know if this was one of those blank spots that had been cropping up in his memory.

The way Harry acted, it was as though he was waiting for Draco to break down. He got the impression from the Gryffindor that he should be upset by the demise of his mother. Harry had written two songs about her. Draco could remember how he felt when the other boy had done that. He had been upset and…grieving? What had changed then? Why had he stopped?

How could his feelings just switch off like that, just disappear?

Draco twisted and pulled an envelope out from under his pillow. He stared at the parchment he held in his hands for a long while. To anyone else, this piece of paper was insignificant, a little fancy maybe but still insignificant. To Draco though, it meant answers. Answers to the millions of questions buzzing around his head.

It was his Mother's funeral announcement.

The funeral of Narcissa Malfoy was taking place later that day at Malfoy Manor. He had received the notice a week ago and every time he looked at it or thought about it a volley of emotions swelled up inside him. He had decided against telling Harry. He didn't want to have to try and explain how he was feeling about it all and he knew Harry would try and make him. As much as he liked Harry, the boy was still Gryffindor through and through and right now he couldn't be Slytherin enough to handle it.

The thought of returning to his childhood home caused an anxious knot to tighten his stomach. A thrill of fear and anticipation swept through his body whenever the thought occurred to him. He was going home.

In the past week he had been fighting against the blank spots only to get no further in uncovering what they were hiding. Whenever he tried to think of any time he had spent at the manor, for instance, it was like a door inside his mind slammed closed, and no matter how hard he tried to break it down, it wouldn't budge.

He could picture his parents easily enough in all their aristocratic finesse. His father's face always slightly more distinct than his mother's. He could picture them but, like with his mother before, only in public. He could only ever really see them from memories such as the Quidditch world cup. As hard as he had tried, he couldn't picture them at home, in the Manor. He couldn't remember a single moment alone with either of his parents and whenever he tried, the door inside his mind held tighter. He could practically hear the hinges groaning from the pressure.

Harry had said that his father had hurt him.

Had he? Had his father hurt him and if he had; why didn't Draco remember? Surely that wasn't something you just forgot about.

Draco thought back to the day in the tower when Harry had kissed him and his body had locked down, had responded without his permission. He had also experienced that odd flash of blonde hair. Were they connected? Draco had felt mostly fear in that moment with Harry; Was that fear because of his father? But what an odd moment to be reminded of your father; whilst being intimate with someone. Harry had caught him unaware, startled him, so that could be all the explanation he needed. If his father had hurt him, then being startled might remind him of that.

Somehow that didn't seem right though. There was more to it.

The fact that he didn't remember being hurt being a major part of it.

Confusion swirled around Draco like a thick fog. He felt trapped by it. The feeling of drowning once again washed over him and took a sharp breathe to prove to himself that he could. So many things didn't make sense to him anymore. A part of him was afraid he was loosing his mind. He couldn't remember why he had gotten his tattoo or changed his hair colour. It was like huge chunks of his life had been buried in his memory and as much as he dug to try and free them; they wouldn't surface.

The nightmares were just as confusing. On the odd occasion that he could sleep, which was scarce to say the least, he had the strange, suffocating dreams.

"D'ya think he's awake?" He heard a rough whispered voice from behind his velvet drapes. He stiffened at the sound. Crabbe was talking about him.

"I'm not sure. I thought I heard paper rustling a minute ago. He was mumbling in his sleep again though" A smoother, more refined tenor this time; Blaise. "He keeps talking about a door. Do you think we should speak to Snape or someone?"

Could they find nothing better to talk about. Draco felt anger begin to boil up inside of him. How dare they talk about him as though he weren't even in the room.

"What d'ya mean? You think he's losin' it?" Crabbe whispered again. His voice sounded suspicious, wary.

Blaise cleared his throat awkwardly. The son of bitch thought Draco was losing his mind? 'Well, I'm not the one who collects Muggle stamps!' Draco thought smugly.

"Come on Vince, he isn't being normal is he? I mean, he's never been this hostile before. I really think he's taken all of this rather severely. After all, Lucius killed Narcissa, that's got to be a head fuck, right?" Blaise whispered.

Draco ripped his drapes back and shot the two other boys a death glare that could melt ice.

"Are you quite done discussing me? Or would you like me to add commentary?" He hissed, his eyes were wide with rage.

Blaise's head whipped around and his face reflected guilt. Crabbe, sensing an explosion, grabbed his bag and made a hasty retreat. Coward.

Blaise came over to Draco's bed and leaned against the bottom corner post, his arms folded defensively in front of him. Draco didn't move. He was still half off of his bed with one foot on the floor. He was still grasping his blanket in a death grip.

"Hey. We weren't discussing you, we're worried about you Draco. Just because you feel the need to be so hostile toward us it doesn't mean the feeling is mutual."

"O.K. Sure." Draco sniped. He lifted his head and sneered. Leave me alone, you jerk.

"I know you're in a weird place at the moment but, surely, alienating your friends isn't going to help. I thought our friendship, at least, had more value than this." Blaise frowned.

Draco threw his blanket down and shoved himself away from the bed.

"Alienating my friends? Don't make me laugh Zabini. I don't have any friends." He spat, angrily grabbing random things from his trunk. His aim was to get dressed and leave the dorm. Where the hell were his trousers!

"You know that that isn't true! What's going on with you? Why are you ignoring us all? Why are you being like this?" Blaise yelled, his frustrated voice ringing through the room.

Draco tried to block him out. He didn't want to listen to the other boy, he didn't want to be lulled into a false sense of security. Blaise said they were friends but Draco had heard the other boy talking about him, making fun of him. What kind of a friend did that? Blaise had been ignoring him for weeks now, the only time they had talked was when, like now, Blaise was being nosey.

Draco savagely took his rage out on his clothes, ripping them from his trunk and tossing them on the floor with shaking hands. "Where the fuck are my fucking trousers?" He growled to himself.

"Draco…they're hanging on the wardrobe. You put them there last night…" Blaise' voice sounded wary. Draco glanced at his clothes hanging neatly against the door of his wardrobe. He remembered putting them there now, he had spent an hour making sure they were perfectly clean and pressed ready for today. Of course Blaise was in the room to witness this and obviously found Draco's forgetfulness now to be odd.

"Why don't you just fuck off, Zabini?" Draco hissed as he pulled himself to his feet and made his way over to his clothes.

"Why don't you just tell me what your problem is, Malfoy?" Blaise shot back just as angrily. He followed Draco over to his clothes and stood maddeningly close.

"Personal space, Zabini! Get the hell out of it before I make you!" Draco warned, although he took a step back himself and instantly berated himself for it. Way to go and show weakness, you idiot.

Awareness flashed in Blaise' eyes and he slowly pulled back. "Look, I'm sorry. I know you've been through hell with your father-" He whispered, his face apologetic "-and your mother dying must have hit you really hard but I've always been here for you, haven't I? So, no! No I won't fuck off because that's not what friends do, that's not what _I_ do."

"It's what you've _been_ doing! Don't think I don't know, Zabini! Don't think I don't see what's going on!" Draco countered. Anger bubbled away in his stomach as he recalled the countless times he had heard his name being whispered by the Slytherins. Even Blaise. He still remembered the whispered conversation he had overheard Blaise having with knot about vicious beatings. He was gossiping as much as everyone else.

"Draco, nothing is going on! Quit being so paranoid! You're the one ignoring us, refusing to sit or communicate with us." Blaise pleaded. Draco watched him in bemusement. Why was Blaise pleading with him?

Sensing Draco's hesitation, Blaise took advantage of it. "Look, I know it's your mother's funeral today. Let me come with you, let me be your friend Draco." He said softly.

Draco stared at the other boy for a long moment. Should he believe him? Was this all some sort of twisted Slytherin joke? Get on Draco's good side and then mess with him. Zabini's face looked honest enough. Draco had a kind of sixth sense when it came to spotting a lie and at the moment it was telling him to trust the boy in front of him.

"Explain what you meant. When you said I'd been through hell with my father, Explain it!" Draco demanded. Zabini was saying he was his friend, if that was true then he would explain.

Confusion clouded Blaise' face for a moment as he looked at Draco. Apparently he was trying to work out whether he was being serious or not. Draco raised an eyebrow in expectation.

"Well, the beatings…and the other stuff." Blaise whispered, shifting uncomfortably. He was frowning, as though he couldn't understand why Draco would ask.

"What other stuff?" Draco demanded. He stepped forward in anticipation, gripping the clothes hangers, turning his knuckles white. Was he going to find out, at last?

"Draco, what's going on? Why are you asking me this; don't you remember?" Concern coloured his tone but Draco paid no attention to the words. Disappointment and frustration crashed over him and he sighed angrily.

"You know what, Zabini? Just, stay the hell away from me!" He spat, as he pushed passed the other boy and made his way to the bathroom to get changed. Apparently he had shaken Blaise up enough to make him forget self-preservation because he followed Draco to the bathroom in shocked silence. Ignoring the other boy, Draco washed and changed and tried to focus on what lay ahead of him.

His mother's funeral. Still no emotion. What the hell w_as_ wrong with him?

"Please. Come on, you know how much I hate to say that word, but…please. Talk to me." Blaise seemed genuinely worried. A small crease appeared between his eyebrows, like Harry. Only with Harry, he wanted to gently smooth it away. With Blaise, he wanted to smack it away.

"Zabini, I'm warning you. Back the hell off!" Draco said in a deadly whisper, he glared at the other boys reflection in the mirror he was currently looking in. He adjusted his tie so that it was perfectly straight and turned to leave. As he made his way toward the door, Blaise reached out and grabbed his wrist. A red veil fell over Draco's eyes and he lost it. He pushed the other boy roughly against the side panel of the toilet stall, intentionally cracking his head against it. Blaise seemed stunned at first at how quickly Draco had moved but as Draco landed a blow to his ribs, he appeared to snap too and began fighting back. Draco continued laying punches where he could reach. Outrage, frustration and downright irritation caused him to apply more force. He gasped as Blaise' fist connected with his jaw but it only made him more angry, more determined to hurt the other boy. He pulled Blaise forward to slam him against the panel again, only this time the other boy anticipated it. He grasped the front of Draco's robes and yanked him round, slamming the side of his head against the stall.

Draco cried out as his head connected with the wood and his vision swam. He slid down the panel and Blaise' foot swung out and connected with his shoulder.

Everything happened so quickly that Draco couldn't even begin to process it. One minute Blaise was kicking the shit out of him and the next Draco was assaulted by something completely different. Memories.

"Get up, you worthless boy! Get up and take it like a man!" A voice screamed in his ear. His eyes flew open in time to see Blaise' foot swinging toward him again and as it connected with his stomach and winded him an image of his father doing the same thing flashed before him and a cry of sheer horror tore through him.

"NO! Father stop, please!"

Blaise' foot, that seemed to be poised for another blow, froze mid-swing.

Draco laid in shock. He was stunned at what he had just seen, what he just experienced. His…father? It was true, he had hurt him.

"Shit. Draco are you alright? I'm sorry, I just lost it. Fuck, are you alright?" Blaise', once again worried, voice echoed above him. It felt like he was submerged in water and the other boy's muffled voice barely made sense.

He was drowning again. Only this time, it wasn't the unknown that was suffocating him. It was reality. Reality was smothering him and he was finding it harder and harder to breathe.

He felt himself being tugged into a sitting position and he swayed from lack of balance. Blaise held on to the tops of his arms in a death grip. He stared into Draco's eye, trying to decipher if he was conscious and aware.

"Draco, calm down. Breathe." He kept yelling and Draco flinched as the sound bounced around his fragile head. A dull ache was radiating from his temple and his jaw was throbbing. He could taste the coppery flavour of blood in his mouth and realised, at some point, he had bitten the inside of his lip.

He concentrated on Blaise, who was demonstrating how to breathe. Draco tried to ignore this fact and just went with it. He matched the rhythm and eventually managed to calm down.

He became aware of the damage he had done to the other boy's face now. Small bruises were beginning to pepper his face and his eye looked as though it was starting to swell. He decided against looking down at his clothes, knowing that they were far from perfect now.

"Are you O.K? Do you think you can stand?" Blaise asked softly, guilt and shame colouring his tone.

Draco considered the question. His stomach hurt quite a lot but he was sure it wouldn't prevent him from being able to stand. He wanted to push the other boy away, to hit him again but he knew it was wrong. He had to leave now, he had to go to Malfoy Manor. He had to get away from Blaise.

"I'm fine. You can go now." He said monotonously. His tone was blank, lacking any of the emotions he was currently feeling. Anger being one of them.

Blaise frowned but remained where he was. "Draco? Don't be-"

"Goodbye, Blaise." He whispered fiercely.

Blaise seemed to finally take the hint and dropped his hands from Draco's arms. He rose slowly and hesitantly began to retreat. Draco watched him with a mixture of relief and disappointment. He wanted Blaise to leave but he wanted to believe that the boy wanted to stay. He wanted to believe that Blaise really was his friend.

Blaise left without another word.

He laughed humourlessly as he stared at the swinging bathroom door. He was right not to trust him. Arsehole.

He sat slumped against the stall for a long while, staring into space. He wondered briefly how Harry would react when he realised Draco was gone from the school. He wondered if he would find out about the fight, whether Blaise would shout his mouth off at breakfast.

The funeral. He had to leave now.

He slid up the panel and gasped as he straightened out. Blaise really had done a number on his stomach. He stumbled toward the sink and examined his face in the mirror above it. The side of his face was beginning to bruise and his bottom lip looked more fuller then usual. His robes were severely rumpled and his hair was dishevelled. He sighed and did his best to fix the mess.

After taking a deep breathe, he lifted his chin and straightened his back and then he left the bathroom.

He swept through the dorm and common room and made his way down to the Entrance Hall, ready to be taken to Malfoy Manor. He ignored everyone he passed in the halls, concentrating on his destination rather than the journey.

As he exited the dungeons he saw Blaise leaning against the staircase, clad in a black polo-neck jumper and grey suit trousers. His face was determined.

A wave of bitter sweet relief washed over him at the sight. Maybe they were friends, after all.

The only problem was that Draco had to do this alone. Blaise couldn't come.

He made his way over to the other boy and stopped a few feet away, and they gazed at each other uncertainly.

"Hardly fair that you got ready after the fight." Draco breathed, an eyebrow raised.

Blaise smiled a relieved grin. "Shut up, you still manage to look better than me." He chuckled.

"True." Draco smirked. It felt good, sparing with Blaise. It felt natural. He almost allowed for it to continue, for Blaise to accompany him. Almost.

"You know I have to do this alone, right?" He whispered, his face serious again.

Blaise' grin slid off of his face and resignation replaced it. He sighed and nodded once.

"I thought you'd say that. I just wanted you to know that I was serious. I'm your friend and I don't like this weird hostility you've had going on. I'm worried." He confessed with a small shrug.

"I'm fine." He countered. And it was almost true. Harry had been taking care of him.

Draco's eye was caught by a streak of red hair and his stomach dropped at the sight. He glanced at Weasley and then Granger and anticipated the sight of Harry. He wanted very much to see him before he left and he was beginning to wish he had told the other boy about today's event. But Harry didn't appear to be with his two best friends. Draco breathed a sigh and realised he was glad The Boy Who Lived hadn't been there, it was easier not having to deal with his reaction just yet.

As the Mudblood and Weasel began their descent down the grand staircase, Draco decided to make a hasty retreat.

"I should go." He muttered to Blaise, aware that they were almost in hearing range. He hoped desperately that the other boy wouldn't mention the funeral.

"Are you sure? This is your mother's funeral…" There goes hoping.

Granger glanced at them, obviously hearing the exchange, she looked sympathetic. Well, she could stick her sympathies. Bushy haired Mudblood.

"I'm sure." Draco answered and with a nod he turned and strolled out of the front doors.

It was time to go home.

To Be Continued…

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A/N: Thanks for reading. The song that goes with this chapter is Drowning by The Stereophonics. You can find it on my profile page. Until next time… xxx


	8. Inner Conflict

I own nothing besides the plot and a crappy life.

A/N: Hey guys. Chapter 8, Ta-da! I know it's long but hey-ho at least you're getting lots of information. (even if it does all seem repetitive, but Harry is conflicted and his thoughts jump around abit)

Those of you who read the author's notes to C.I.B.M will know that the reason I originally wrote the story was to deal with the breakdown of the relationship with my ex, who came out and then left my son and I. This chapter is partly me trying to make sense of and understand what he may have been experiencing when he began to realise he was gay.

Throughout this story the connection between Harry and Ginny will mirror that of mine and my ex's and hopefully I will be able to get some sort of closure through their relationship. Neither Ginny nor Harry are villains, they are just not meant for each other. Love can be cruel and you can't control it, please try not to judge their actions too harshly. (Especially since a lot of the stuff between them is true to life lol)

_**Thank you, as ever, to the lovely Meghan7474 who is my beta. Don't worry, my dear…I will punish you with another chapter soon to make up for it! Jk.**_

_**(Warning - If you are of a nervous disposition (and you hate Ginny) I recommend you keep a paper bag close by lol) x**_

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Chapter 8 - Inner Conflict.

**Harry**

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table in The Great Hall morosely picking at a bagel when Hermione and Ron entered. This was a typical occurrence on a Saturday, his two best friends disappearing for 'quality time', and it usually resulted in Harry eating breakfast alone. Not that he minded. Although Harry shuddered at the thought of what they probably got up to during these hours of absence and quickly diverted his thoughts else where.

He glanced at the Slytherin table for the 100th time since he had arrived in the hopes of spotting Draco but so far he had come up empty. He was usually here by now and Harry was growing agitated from his lack of appearance. How could he enjoy his bagel if he didn't have anything good to look at?

Hermione and Ron settled across from him and ultimately blocked his view of Draco's usual seat. Just great. Now, even when he did decide to drag his lazy arse out of bed, Harry still wouldn't be able to see him.

Harry ever so subtly edged along the bench until Hermione's mound of hair was no longer obscuring him vision. That's better. Although, what's the point in looking at an empty seat. Where the bloody hell was he?

He focused on the conversation and immediately withdrew his attention when he realised what Ron was talking about. Apparently Hermione's hair had 'just the right amount of curl to it'. Yes, Ron was talking about Hermione's hair. Seriously.

Harry zoned back out and began scanning the Slytherin table for Draco again. Maybe he had changed seats.

This was Harry's routine now. He would pretend to listen to his friends whilst he waited for Draco to arrive, then when the Slytherin made an appearance Harry would spend the rest of the meal time stealing glances at him. He realised it was slightly sappy to be so aware of the other boy but hey, at least he was talking about his hair!!!

"Don't you think Harry?" Ron's voice floated through Harry's reverie. What?

"Erm, yeah?" He replied, hoping that that was the sentiment Ron was after. The red head smiled languidly and turned to Hermione, who seemed put out.

"Harry, really. After the way you reacted before, I would have thought you would be slightly more sympathetic." Hermione frowned.

Harry shifted uncomfortably. "Er, No then?" He tried. It was now plainly obvious he had not been listening to the conversation. His two best friends wore varying expressions of irritation on their faces.

"Oh come on Harry! This school would be a hell of a lot better if he just didn't come back. Hopefully they will 'accidentally' lock him in a tomb or a crypt or something!" Ron chuckled, using air quotes when he said 'accidentally'.

Now Harry was really confused. "Crypt?"

"A Crypt, from the Latin 'Crypta', is a stone chamber or vault beneath the-" Hermione began in her Know-it-all voice. Ron, sensing the lecture, cut her off.

"It's where they bury dead people, Harry!" He exclaimed. "How cool is that?!"

Hermione huffed in irritation and shook her head "Really, Ronald. It wouldn't hurt to actually listen to me occasionally. You know, widen you knowledge from the simple 'It's where they bury dead people'."

"Wait. Who's dead? What are you talking about?" Harry asked, perplexed. How much had he missed? He had looked at the Slytherin table and now someone was dead? How long had he been zoned out for?!

"Narcissa Malfoy, Harry." Hermione answered. "It's her funeral today."

Harry felt as though a bucket of ice had been dumped over his head. Narcissa Malfoy's funeral? Today? He swept his gaze along the Slytherin table again, hoping to find Draco's familiar form but he found nothing. He even half stood so he had more of a view. Nothing.

He was aware that his friends were watching him with equal amounts of concern and confusion. He didn't care though, he was more worried about Draco.

"Funeral…today? You're sure?" He demanded of Hermione, who was leaning back slightly. The look on her face clearly said she was questioning Harry's sanity.

"What's up with you? Who cares if it is?" Ron asked, baffled. He too was looking at Harry in bemusement.

For the moment, Harry didn't care what his friends were thinking. He sunk into his chair slowly, chewing his bottom lip anxiously.

Why hadn't Draco told him about the funeral? Surely he must have known beforehand. Was that why he had been acting so strange lately, asking odd questions like he had the day before about his parents. Had he been upset about today and was trying to make sense of it? Was this the reason he had yet to break down; He was waiting for the funeral, in which he could grieve privately?

A thought occurred to Harry that sent a wave of nausea crashing over him.

"Lucius. Are they letting him out of Azkaban for the funeral?" He demanded again to Hermione, who jumped slightly at his tone and glanced at Ron nervously.

"Erm, well I shouldn't think so Harry. He's being held for her murder. It's not very appropriate is it?" She sounded cautious, frightened almost.

"Harry mate, what's up? You're being weird." Ron commented, he too sounded edgy.

Harry ignored him.

"How do you know? About the funeral, I mean?" Harry asked, again directly to Hermione.

Hermione blushed. "Well, I overheard Draco and Blaise Zabini talking about it a few minutes ago." She said, apparently slightly embarrassed at her eavesdropping.

Harry ignored it and tried to process what she had said. Draco was talking to Zabini? The Boy Who Lived was having a hard time understanding that. Draco and Blaise were no longer friends. From what Draco had told him, none of the Slytherins went near him. They constantly talked about him and heckled him. Why would he suddenly start talking to him?

"I thought he was being shunned?" Harry said in an attempt to sound curious rather than desperate for knowledge.

"Well, from what I've heard it's been Malfoy that's been doing the shunning. Apparently he's turned dead paranoid and told them to stay away from him." Hermione informed, turning to glance at the Slytherin table.

Nothing of interest was at that table if Draco wasn't seated there so Harry remained focused on Hermione until Ron added his thoughts.

"Well, they may 'ave looked the best of buds, but didn't you clock the state of 'em? Zabini's eye looks like he's been given a good wallop and Malfoy looked as though he'd had a round or two; massive bruise on the side of his face." Ron grinned. "Bet they've had a fight, shame we missed it!"

Harry gazed at Ron as though he had grown another head. He tried with all of his might to stay seated because he desperately wanted to go find Draco and make sure he was alright. He couldn't adjust to any of this. It stung that Draco hadn't told him about the funeral. He thought they were getting somewhere. Sure the other boy had been acting oddly but Harry never suspected Draco was keeping something like this from him. Did he not trust him?

Draco being friends with Blaise bothered him a little too. Hermione said that she had overheard them talking about the funeral, so obviously Blaise was privy to this information that, apparently, Harry wasn't to be trusted with.

How long had they been friends again for? And had they been fighting? Harry searched Blaise out amongst the Slytherins and spotted him seated beside Pansy, their heads together in deep conversation. He was dressed a little too formally for breakfast. Was he going to the funeral?

Jealousy unlike any he had ever felt before swam through Harry's veins like poison.

"Who cares if they've been fighting. Frankly if Zabini can fight with Malfoy on the day of his mother's funeral he isn't much of a friend. But then again, this is the Slytherins we are talking about, fighting might be their way of expressing affection." Hermione said, stifling a grin.

Strangely enough, Harry took comfort in her words. She was right because Draco had no bruises yesterday so the fight must have occurred today, and fighting with someone on the day of their mother's funeral was pretty low even for a Slytherin. So maybe they weren't friends.

"You said they were talking though. I'm pretty sure that if I had fight with Ron, under those circumstances, talking would be the last thing we'd be doing afterward." Harry stated. Maybe Hermione had misunderstood the two Slytherin's exchange. Maybe what she saw as friendly conversation was actually disguised arguing.

"Harry, Slytherin's aren't like us, they're odd. Malfoy isn't a martyr who would converse with someone who had gotten on the wrong side of him. He's an absolute drama queen who would turn whichever poor soul that had crossed him into a social pariah." Hermione stated with a frown.

Harry gripped the edge of his seat to stop himself from punching Ron when he guffawed like an idiot and declared 'I dunno about the rest but the queen bit is certainly on the money!' These remarks never got any easier to deal with. Ron really was a jerk sometimes.

Harry wanted desperately to get Hermione to explain everything she had seen and heard but he couldn't think of a way of doing this without raising suspicion. She was already frowning at him. Generally when Hermione frowned it meant she was thinking about something. Hermione thinking wasn't good. She was too clever and would probably start putting the pieces together.

With relief and dread Harry found his saviour from the conversation in the shape of Ginny who had just sat beside him.

"Hey guys, what are you talking about?" She asked brightly, flashing a winning smile at Harry.

Oh, we were just discussing the funeral of the mother of the guy who I'm seeing. But apparently I'm not worthy of the news and had to find out second hand from the one person he despises the most. Oh and he's friends with a guy who thought fighting with him on one of the worst days of his life is acceptable. Did I miss anything?

"Nothing important." Harry said before Hermione or Ron could mention Draco.

A change of subject was in order.

"So, what's new with you Gin?" He asked. Truth was he didn't really care what was going on in Ginny's life. The only thing he cared about at the moment was talking to Draco and finding out what was going on.

"Nothing much." She smiled with a small shrug.

She glanced at Ron and Hermione, who were watching them, and turned her attention to Harry. It was an odd exchange, Harry noticed. It was as though Ginny was making sure she had spectators. The Boy Who Lived had a feeling he was being cornered.

"So, Harry. I was wondering if you would like to spend the day with me in Hogsmeade." She asked cheerfully. Harry couldn't help but admire her persistence and cunning. The red head had already asked Harry this and he had rebuffed her in order to spend the day with Draco. Apparently he didn't have an excuse now. Besides, if he said no to her in front of Ron and Hermione he'd probably be questioned over it later. He was certain that Ginny knew this, which would explain the triumphant grin on her face.

He was beginning to wish he had stayed in bed.

He couldn't help but feel angry with Draco. He had been nothing but honest and trustworthy to the other boy and this is how he was repaid. Traded in for Zabini without so much as a backwards glance.

Doubts began springing up in Harry's mind. Had he just been a stop gap? Just someone to keep Draco company until he was on better terms with his friends. That thought stung. Was that how it was? For Draco; Harry had just been in the right place at the right time. A relationship that, if he felt the need, was easily disposed of. After all, who would believe Harry if he told people they were actually friends. No one would. They were enemies.

He glanced again at Zabini and Parkinson. They were still having their discussion but their body language had shifted. Zabini was now gesturing with his hands with an almost frightened expression on his face. Parkinson's eyes were narrowed and she was biting her lip thoughtfully. They seemed worried, concerned. Harry frowned slightly at the sight. Were they worried about Draco and Blaise' fight? Afraid that a teacher may find out. Or were they worried about Draco?

"Come on Harry, it will be fun. We haven't doubled in ages, it will be nice to spend some time together as a group." Hermione said, reclaiming his attention. Harry had the urge to extend his arm and slap her. Shame he was too much of a gentlemen to actually carry the action out.

He glanced between Hermione and Ginny and caught on. He _was_ being cornered, he realised as the two girls smiled suspiciously at each other. And they said that Slytherins were sneaky!

Harry really didn't want to go. Ron was already glaring at him and he hadn't even agreed yet. He knew his best friend wouldn't be happy with his decision either way. The Boy Who Lived really couldn't win.

"Well, I hadn't actually planned on going to Hogsmeade. I was just going to hang out in the castle" 'With Draco' he added in his head with a scowl.

"Oh Harry! What fun is that? No, you're coming with us. It will be fun." Hermione ordered bossily.

The Boy Who Lived soon found himself on the road to Hogsmeade. Arguing with Hermione had been completely pointless, she had managed to rebuff every one of his excuses and, with help from an all too eager Ginny, had practically dragged him out of the castle.

He walked silently besides his ex-girlfriend. His anger at Draco increasing with each passing minute. As irrational and selfish as it may be, Harry couldn't help but feel betrayed by the Slytherin. He may not have known the full story but his own conclusion satisfied him enough. He'd been traded in. Well, Draco could bugger off with Zabini for all he cared. Bugger off and have a happy Slytherin life.

Ginny took advantage of Harry's silent and sulky attitude. She had managed to slip her hand into his own whilst his attention had been diverted, and when he realised what she had done he found pulling away was impossible without hurting her feelings.

Ron and Hermione walked along beside them and every now and again Ron would shoot a warning glance at The Boy Who Lived. Hermione just appeared smug.

They visited various shops but Harry really wasn't in the mood to have fun. He wanted to know what was happening at the funeral. He wanted to know if Draco was O.K.

He felt a spiteful stab of pleasure when he saw Zabini with Parkinson in the little village. Obviously he wasn't attending the funeral. The pair of Slytherins seemed subdued, as though they had put their concerned conversation on hold but the atmosphere of it still lingered around them. Harry very much wanted to go ask them what the hell was going on but knew how insanely stupid that would be.

What would he say? 'Hey, Draco and I have been seeing each other…kinda, and I'm worried about him. Is he O.K? Oh and if you've hit him, I will bury you so deep you'll burn your arse on the earth's core!' He had a feeling that wouldn't turn out so well.

He didn't know who he was more angry at. Draco, for keeping something so important from him. Zabini, for just being Zabini. Prick. Or himself, for thinking that he and Draco shared something that was worth a damn.

At lunch time they went to The Three Broomsticks and met with a collection of their friends. Dean and Seamus were sat at a table against the far wall with Neville and Luna. Luna was apparently spouting one her many odd theories as the three boys around her were using varying techniques of hiding their laughter. None were very successful.

Harry, along with Ginny, Ron and Hermione, bought Butterbeers and went to join them.

Harry noticed Blaise and Pansy sat in the next booth along from theirs, so he sat as close to them as possible.

A flurry of conversation started at his own table, and with Ginny and Hermione putting their heads together, engaged in more plotting Harry suspected, he felt it was safe to divert his attention to the two Slytherins.

They were whispering but he was close enough to catch some of their conversation. Their voices were harsh and argumentative.

"Come on, Pans. I know he has been acting oddly, being all Captain hostility, but I think it's more serious than that. You didn't hear him, he was terrified. He really thought I was…him." Blaise whispered. Harry frowned and wondered if they were talking about Draco.

"Maybe he was just trying to freak you out, so you'd stop. I mean, really Blaise! Who fights with someone on the day of their mother's funeral? Really, are you a complete moron, or are you just possessed by a extremely retarded ghost?" Pansy scolded.

Harry felt his lip twitch at her insult. Wit must be a Slytherin trait. He frowned when he realised they _were_ talking about Draco though. He couldn't understand what was going on. They were supposed to hate him now. Draco had told Harry they had been heckling him and treating him like dirt. Why were they so concerned?

"Hey, he hit me first, it was self-defence! Besides, we're talking now so I must of done something right." Blaise countered in an affronted tone. Harry could imagine the haughty sneer on his ugly face.

"Great logic, that. Kicking the stuffing out of him is the route to friendship. You know, sometimes I wish I had a lower I.Q, so that I could enjoy your company, Zabini."

Harry choked slightly on some of Butterbeer he had just sipped and managed to catch the two Slytherins attention. They sneered at him and turned back to each other, continuing their conversation.

"Anyway, all I'm saying is that I think we should go to Snape or someone. He isn't right. He wasn't trying to scare me, it was like he was hallucinating. And back in the dorm, he had forgotten where he had put his clothes, when the night before he had spent like three hours checking them to make sure they were perfect. It's weird, Pans."

Harry frowned and leaned back to listen more carefully. They had noticed too, then? That Draco was acting oddly. The word 'hallucination' scared Harry. Had Draco really experienced one and if so, what had been the outcome?

"Draco has always been kooky. And can you really blame him for being a little strange, what with all that has been going on? Going to Professor Snape will just make Draco angry. Now that he is being slightly more accepting of you as a person, maybe he will start being normal again. Let's just give it a few days?" Pansy insisted. Harry didn't know what to make of her tone. She sounded upset and dismayed.

"Does it feel a little too 'Gryffindork' in here, to you? Want to head back to the castle, we can hang out in the common room and wait for him to get back?" Blaise asked.

Harry sighed, knowing that he would get no more information.

As Pansy and Blaise made their exit, Pansy, apparently by accident, hit Ginny with her bag that was hanging off of her shoulder. To her credit, Pansy was about to apologize when Ron stood and opened his big mouth.

"Oi! Watch where you're going, Pug face!" He snapped. Ginny turned in her seat and glared at the two Slytherins. Blaise glared at Ron and his lip curled distastefully.

"Oh, get a grip Weasley. It was an accident. She would never intentionally touch one of your lot. Who knows what she might catch?!" He hissed.

Harry glanced at the faces around the table. The majority were outraged at Blaise' comment and were wearing various expressions of hate and anger.

Seamus, however, was glaring at Ron. Harry frowned curiously and glanced at Pansy to find her watching the Irish boy closely. How odd. But hadn't Harry heard Pansy mentioned in relation to Seamus before?

"What the hell do you mean by that?!" Ron roared, trying to get passed the table and closer to Zabini. Hermione, however, had her hand firmly wrapped around the back of Ron's Sweater, holding him in place.

"Well, we'd explain it to you, Weasel, but unfortunately we don't have any crayons with us!" Pansy laughed but it didn't quite reach her eyes. She still seemed to be watching Seamus with a degree of disappointment.

Harry tried to hide his smile as he watched his friends process her remark. He had to hand it to her - The girl was quick.

"Yeah well, you know what I think?" Ron asked and Harry mentally groaned at the thought of what insult would come out of his mouth. Ron wasn't quick! However, Pansy didn't even give him time to finish his question before she came back with another witty reply.

"If you said what you thought, you'd be speechless! Now, I really don't want to get into a battle of wits with you, weasel, because as surprising as it may sound, I never attack someone who is un-armed."

This time Harry had to cough to cover the sound of his laughter and it almost went by undetected. Almost. As the two Slytherins turned to leave, Pansy shot him a curious look. Harry didn't have time to ponder much because Ginny was now acting wounded. Apparently Pansy's bag was made of stone because the red head swore it had left a bruise.

"Bloody Slytherins! They shouldn't be allowed to come in here if they are going to act like that. Hasn't Madam Rosmerta heard? Gryffindors and Slytherin don't mix!" Hermione scowled. Various members of the table nodded in agreement, even Luna who seemed to forget that she was actually a Ravenclaw.

Harry watched Seamus as his face steadily became more red. He looked as though he were desperately trying to keep his temper in check. Harry leaned toward him slightly and raised his eyebrows when the Irish boy glanced at him.

"You O.K?" The Boy Who Lived whispered.

"Yeah. It just pisses me off! They don't even know her!" Seamus snapped back quietly. Harry felt an odd sensation of flying at the Irish boy's answer. Seamus was pissed at his friends for arguing with Pansy. So, he wasn't the only one who cared for a Slytherin, then.

"Why don't you say something then? Defend her. I'm sure she would have rather you had done that then sit back and let them do it." Harry whispered. He realised what a hypocrite he was as soon as he spoke the words.

"They wouldn't understand. They're ignorant." Seamus scowled, shaking his head.

"Hmm." Harry agreed.

His friends were ignorant, he knew that more than most. A strange sort of resentment washed over him at that moment as he realised just how right Seamus was.

"So, what's the score with you and Ginny? Back on?" The Irish boy asked, nodding his head toward their linked hands. Harry looked down and mentally swore. How the bloody hell did she do that without him noticing?

Harry shook his head rapidly. "No. I don't know exactly what she's playing at but…No."

Seamus nodded sympathetically, when a curious knowing expression crossed his face. His lip twitched slightly, as though he wanted to smile, as he appraised Harry and Ginny. Harry didn't like it. It were as though the Irish boy was sizing him up.

After a few seconds the Irish boy leaned forward and dropped his voice so that it was almost mute. He leaned right against the side of Harry's head so that no one would be able to read his lips or hear the words.

"How long have you known?" He asked.

Harry frowned. The red flag in his mind, that usually popped up during one of Draco's 'Odd' moments, flew up at the question.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably and swept his gaze around the table. Everyone was still in deep conversation, taking no notice of his and Seamus' exchange.

"Known what?" He asked quietly. His voice sounded rough and low, even to himself.

He felt Seamus shake his head fractionally and nudge him gently against the shoulder in an almost comforting gesture.

"That you're gay." The Irish boy breathed softly.

Harry, however, stopped breathing all together. He felt his eyes close and his mouth clamp shut. He was going to be sick. Oh God.

"Relax, before someone notices. It's O.K. I won't tell." Seamus whispered quickly, his voice sounding just as genuine as it had been when he had spoken of Pansy.

Harry didn't want to listen to him though, he wanted to leave. He stood so abruptly that he half dragged Ginny with him, who cried out in surprise.

Dropping her hand and pushing his chair away, Harry practically flew from the pub and into the street outside.

There were people everywhere and a sense of claustrophobia slammed into him. He couldn't think straight. All he could hear was Seamus' lilting Irish voice branding him. His breathing was near hyperventilation and a bubble of vomit was making it's way up his throat. He began to run blindly, crashing into innocent by-standers along the way. He ignored the outraged cries of irritation and lurched down an alley, where he was promptly sick.

The world began to spin around him and he braced himself against the wall as he pictured his friends. Would Seamus have told them what he had discovered? Were they now discussing how disgusting he was? Harry, The gay.

"Harry?!" Ginny cried from the entrance of the alleyway. Harry couldn't look at her, he didn't want to be near anyone, he wanted to be left alone.

The red head dashed over and pushed his hair out of his eyes so she could examine his face.

"Harry, are you O.K? What's wrong, you're face is green?" She asked frantically.

The Boy Who Lived just shook his head and tried to pull his face out of her grip. Ginny wasn't about to give up so easily though because she held on tighter.

"Harry. Don't. Please just tell me, what's wrong?"

Harry tuned her out. All he could think about was Seamus and Draco and his friends. He wanted Draco. He wanted the Slytherin to wrap his arms around him and tell him it would all be O.K. But, now, the thought of being in the arms of another guy sent a wave of fear to crash over him.

Harry focused on Ginny, wishing with everything he had that he could be normal. The redhead leaned her forehead against his own and his head seemed to overload with information. He knew he should turn away from her, make his escape, but spite and confusion held him still. Maybe this was the way things should be. Maybe he was supposed to be with Ginny. After all, as Hermione had said 'Gryffindors and Slytherins just didn't mix', perhaps she was right. Perhaps his 'relationship' with Draco had been doomed from the start.

Ginny was agonizingly close, her flowery scent had wrapped itself around him and he could barely breathe. She smelled wonderful, she always had, and for a split second it was all he could think about.

He knew he had to make a decision now before it was too late. Ginny's lips were a fraction away from his, he could feel her warm breath washing over his face and he swallowed in anticipation.

He didn't know what he wanted, his every thought and feeling seemed to conflict with the next . He felt very strongly for Draco, stronger than he had ever felt about anyone else. But Ginny was stood in front of him, and she was really quite beautiful and he desperately wanted to be normal. He wondered if kissing her now would feel the same as kissing Draco. Whether it would be enough to just pretend.

Would he ever get to kiss Draco again? Would he ever be close with the other boy again? The thought occurred to him so suddenly that he acted on it out of reflex. His heart squeezed painfully and he lurched forward, pushing Ginny against the opposite wall, closing the distance between his mouth and hers, kissing her with every ounce of himself, every bit of feeling he possessed.

It was as though his body was denying the knowledge of his sexuality and the fact that he had lost the Slytherin and by kissing Ginny it would make things better, like kissing her was actually kissing Draco… but in a normal way.

With his eyes clamped shut he pressed her tightly against the wall and buried his hands in her long, luscious red hair. She moaned with delight but Harry ignored the sound. In his head he was kissing Draco, desperately trying to hold on to the piece of heaven he had with the other boy.

Ginny ran her tongue along Harry's bottom lip and he opened his mouth in response to deepen the kiss. She tasted wrong. He found no trace of the strawberry flavour that generally resided upon Draco's kisses. All he found with Ginny was mint laced with Butterbeer. Not necessarily bad flavours…just wrong, misplaced.

The feel of Ginny's body against his felt wrong too. The alignment was off and unsymmetrical. She was very much female in every way and rather than arousing Harry it served to make him cringe. His body was reacting to the redhead but not in the way it was supposed to. He was more repulsed than excited.

He ignored all of these feelings though and concentrated on the similarities between she and Draco. The movement of her lips, the way she massaged his tongue, her hands gripping his face. If he imagined hard enough he could pretend she was the Slytherin, and it began to work. He pictured the other boy and his body reacted instantly, thrusting against Ginny's lower body with agonizing force. He groaned as he imagined grinding against Draco's arousal and his head fell onto the red head's shoulder.

Her lips began a trail of kisses along Harry's jaw and down his neck and he threw his head back to grant her more access.

Her hand slid under his sweater and ran along the defined muscles of his stomach with a feather light touch and his breathing began to pick up as heat burned a trail throughout his body, setting his veins on fire.

Every thought and feeling he had experienced since that morning melted away and he was left with desire and want. He let himself forget he was with Ginny, his body remembered how it felt when it was with Draco and reacted in the same way.

The goosebumps erupted across his skin and he shivered with anticipation at what the next touch might bring.

The eager hands greedily touched and kissed every inch of his available flesh and he was more than happy to oblige, getting lost in the sensation.

Draco was the only thought that could be processed in his brain, for he was the only person that could invoke this kind of pleasure.

He heard himself speak but he didn't understand the words. The soft relieved gasp that followed was wrong though. He was imagining Draco but the gasp was made by Ginny. He opened his eyes and for a moment was astonished to find himself wrapped around the red head.

Ginny's eyes were shining and a small smile was playing at her lips. She leaned forward and held Harry in a bone crushing hug. Her body shook with soft happy laughter.

"And I love you too, Harry"

Harry felt his face drop, along with his stomach as horror and regret crashed over him.

Oh God, What have I done?!

To Be Continued…

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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I really do appreciate it. xxx


	9. Falling Apart

I own nothing except my health and happiness. Happy Birthday to me (23 March).

A/N: Okay, I just want to start this chapter on a sombre note. It feels appropriate considering the contents of this chapter that I dedicate it to Jade Goody who died today (Sunday 22nd March, 09 - Mother's day) of Cervical cancer. Jade was 27 years old and had two young boys - Bobby aged 5 and Freddie aged 4 -and she fought bravely and fiercely against this cruel disease. This young women will go on to save the lives of thousands of young women who, before her tragic story was discovered, would have gone unchecked until it was too late. Jade headed a campaign to have the cervical cancer screening test age lowered and since she was diagnosed young women who assumed they were not at risk have been tested, myself included. It's utterly heartbreaking that this 27 year old mother, who should of had her whole life ahead of her, died at 3:14am on Mother's day - The last event she was holding on for. In the short weeks she had left on this planet she managed to have a fairytale wedding and have her boys along with herself christened. I'm absolutely gutted that she didn't survive to spend this special day with her two precious sons, and it makes me truly grateful that I get to see my son, who is the same age as her youngest, grow up. I hope everyone will take note from this tragic women's life and death, and live every day you have left to the fullest and cherish the people you have around you. Just like Jade did.

So, because I was finishing off this chapter at the time she died, I want to dedicate it to her.

R.I.P Jade. My thoughts are with your boys x

_**Thank you, as ever, to everyone who has read and reviewed. You guys rock. Thanks to Meghan7474, my lovely beta. Happy late birthday xxx**_

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Chapter 9 - Falling apart.

**Draco**

The winding road that led to the Manor was unfamiliar. The rolling hills that extended around him were beautiful and picturesque. And totally alien.

Draco slumped against the car door, leaning his head against the cool glass window. Professor Snape, who was sat in the front with the driver, hadn't said a word to him since they had left Hogwarts. Draco was kind of glad that his Head of House was leaving him alone. The last thing he wanted was a deep and meaningful with the Ice Man himself. However, the silence had made room for Draco to think. He knew that Harry must have noticed his absence by now. He could picture the Gryffindor scouring the Slytherin table for him, maybe even subtly asking if anyone had seen Draco around.

Maybe the gruesome twosome had commented on him and Blaise talking in the hallway, dropping a remark in about the funeral.

He knew Harry was going to be worried…and seriously pissed. Draco felt bad for not informing the Gryffindor of his whereabouts, for leaving him in the dark. Harry wouldn't be happy hearing the news second hand and Draco's lip curled distastefully when he realised the likelihood of the Mudblood disclosing the information.

Out of the corner of his eye Draco saw Snape straighten in his seat and adjust his robes. He glanced out of the windshield and saw, for the first time, a magnificent building looming in the distance. The white building stood in vast contrast to the thick black clouds that were drifting overhead. Even though it was late morning, the dozens of windows on the face of the Manor were lit up. As they drew closer, the manor was obscured by tall, daunting hedges and stood in the very centre were a set of wrought iron gates.

A thrill of uncertainty ran through Draco's body as they passed through the gates and they entered the property surrounding his childhood home. He shivered as the car passed over the gravel driveway, the crunching sound unsettling him. They passed a giant fountain that stood in front of the building and pulled up directly outside the main doors.

Draco gazed up, taking in the three stories. The Manor was really quite big and he wondered how he could forget something so splendid.

He jumped in surprise as his door opened and he just managed to stop himself from falling out of the car. Scowling at the driver, he extracted himself from the vehicle and straightened his robes.

Professor Snape came and stood beside him, apparently feeling the need to take some kind of parental responsibility.

"Your Mother's coffin is situated in the family room on the first floor Draco. Guests can't floo in because the Ministry have closed the Manor's network, so they will be arriving via portkey and such in due course. You have around 30 minutes or so until the actual funeral begins. Would you like me to accompany you to your Mother's coffin or would you rather wander around alone?"

"I'd rather be alone." Draco announced lifting his chin in defiance. He didn't need a chaperone. Okay, so for some reason he couldn't remember anything about this house, and once inside he had no clue as to the layout or even where the 'The Family Room' was. He'd just have to try and work it out. He was not being led around like a dog. Absolutely not.

Without another word, Draco marched forward toward the door and, as he had suspected they would, they swung open of their own accord exposing a grand entrance hall with a beautiful marble staircase straight ahead of him.

He had hoped that entering the building would bring something back to him, a flicker of a memory perhaps, but there was nothing. He may as well have stepped into someone else's house for all he knew.

He glanced around and counted 14 doors, 7 on each side of the staircase. One in particular stood out as it had tape across it proclaiming a denial of access. Of course, Draco's interest was piqued at this and he began to make his way over to it.

"Draco. Maybe you should stick to the upper floors." Professor Snape's voice echoed through the cavernous room, causing Draco to stop before he got a chance to read the shining plaque on the large oak doors in front of him.

He turned on his heel and made his way to the staircase, Professor Snape walking beside him. They broke away from each other when Draco continued to the top floor whilst the professor stayed on the middle.

He opened doors as he made his way down the corridor, finding broom cupboards and non-descript guest rooms. He soon found something that looked interesting and he walked further into the room to investigate.

He felt a strange tingling sensation as he made his way around the plain bedroom. It was as though the room recognised him and a funny sort of magic crackled in response. After a few minutes of trying to work out what the feeling was, it dawned on him. Shielding charm.

Pulling his wand out and lifting the charm, the room suddenly shifted exposing posters of muggle bands on the walls and muggle technology scattered about the place. He recognised a computer and a stereo and a tonne of that had been disguised as book. A laugh escaped his lips and he found himself gazing around in disbelief, a huge smile spread across his face.

This was his room. The computer in the corner had brought him and Harry together. The stereo had played music that the two of them loved. How odd. He had thought coming back here would cause him pain and distress, but he was happy. He was more than happy, he was overjoyed.

He walked around picking up different objects and running his hands along the material of his bedspread. He sat behind the desk that housed his computer and stared at it, thinking about the Gryffindor. How amazing that they had been brought together by this insignificant contraption. A pang of guilt shot through him as he thought of the Gryffindor and he inwardly promised the other boy that he would never hide anything so important from him again.

Shaking his head in an attempt to dislodge his concerns of the boy he cared for, he tried to distract himself by rummaging through the drawers of the desk. The universe, it seemed, had decided to keep his thought directed at the Gryffindor though, because the first drawer he opened exposed a copy of 'Hamlet'. Draco laughed softly as he reached out for his lost half of the two way books he had shared with Harry.

"Determined to make me feel guilty, aren't you Harry?" He chuckled to himself as he gazed at the battered fake Shakespeare play, smoothing out the curling edges with a soft smile on his face. A large part of him wanted to read through the passages inside, but something was stopping him. A strange warning in his head was telling him to wait until he was back at Hogwarts.

Pocketing the book, he stood and made his way back over to the door. With a final glance around his bedroom, Draco left, smiling, leaving the shielding charms down and the room in it's natural state.

Before he could explore any further, a nasally buzzing sound echoed around the corridor sending a cold chill to run over his body. He made his way down to the 1st floor, knowing that the funeral was about to begin.

He had still felt no rush of recognition or love or anything. He still felt like an outsider, only now, after seeing his room he had proof that this was actually his home; He had lived here.

He followed a queue of aristocratic looking people into a grand room that he took to be 'The Family Room'. He received a few odd looks, some sympathetic, some distasteful, but he ignored them all. He sat down without even glancing at the coffin that was situated at the head of the room. He tried his best to ignore every word that was being said by mourner and minister alike. He didn't want to hear what other people had to say about his Mother when he didn't know anything about her himself.

He let his mind fill with the sound of piano, and he imagined that Harry was playing for him. He tried to remember the song that Harry had sung to him when he had learned of his Mother's death, but he couldn't pin point the words. He wasn't even sure if he was hearing the melody correctly, but he didn't care. All that mattered was that this was something that he associated with The Boy Who Lived.

Harry was helping him through it.

His attention was caught when people began moving around again, and he realised that the service was over.

He watched silently as they took turns walking passed the coffin, and then made their way through to the next room where he was sure glasses of over priced sherry and brandy were being handed out.

He waited until the room was virtually cleared before standing and making his way over to his Mother.

The open casket was something he hadn't anticipated. His Mother had the appearance of a drowned women, as though she were suffering, even in death. Her face looked different from the few memories he had of her. There was a greyness about her skin, her hair. The navy blue satin gown she was wearing only adding to it. Draco wondered who had chosen it for her, who had planned the funeral, whether she had made arrangements herself before she had died. There was so much he didn't know and so much he was sure he did know but was unable to recall.

It troubled him that this was the last time he'd see his mother and yet, he didn't have a clue who she was.

"Are you okay, Draco?" Professor Snape's smooth voice enquired from beside him, placing his hand gently on the Slytherin's shoulder.

Draco jumped, inexplicably startled by the sudden gesture and flinched away from the contact. His Head of House nodded, an apologetic expression on his pallid face. "I apologize. Would you like to leave now?" He asked soberly.

Draco, irritated by his reaction to the older man's concern, frowned to himself. He was sure coming to the manor would fill in some of the blank spots in his memory. Disappointment and anxiety washed over him. Was that it then; Was he actually just losing it?

"May I just have one last wander around? I have a feeling I won't be coming back." He breathed, staring intently at his Mother, memorising her face one last time.

"Of course. You can take as long as you need, Draco." The potions professor said quietly, concern and understanding colouring his tone.

As soon as he was alone, Draco made his way down to the ground floor of the manor. He wanted to go to the room that was forbidden, hoping that somehow it would hold the key to his memory loss. He moved swiftly, making sure he attracted no notice from the mourners who were still milling around and staff that were scurrying about inconspicuously.

As he approached the door, an odd sort of anticipation twisted his stomach into a knot. The canary yellow tape just screamed for attention. Draco briefly thought how ridiculous it was to put such an eye catching warning across a door, that was like all the other doors in the room and would probably have been ignored like the others. However, they chose to single it out as 'Forbidden' It was like the Ministry was begging people to come and intrude upon the it. They may as well have put a welcome mat by the door instead.

Glancing around himself to make sure he wasn't being observed, Draco quickly ripped the tape off the door and shoved it behind a potted plant that stood to his right. He was finally able to read the words engraved on the shining plaque fixed in the right hand door and nothing assaulted him besides recognition for the name.

'Lucius Malfoy - Master of Malfoy Manor' The only thought that crossed Draco's mind was 'Wow, talk about ego'

With one more glance around the entrance hall, Draco slipped silently into the room and closed the door behind him. He leaned his forehead against the door, preparing himself. He suddenly felt uneasy. The smell of the room caused his stomach to unexpectedly turn and he clamped his mouth shut as a wave of nausea crashed over him. Cigars and leather.

And then it happened.

"What took you so long, boy?" The sound of his fathers voice was so clear and startlingly close that he automatically answered it.

"I have no excuse." He breathed, spinning around and facing the room. Books lined the walls, hundred of them which explained the smell of leather. A large desk stood at the other end of the room, but unlike the rest of the manor it was messy, a sense of disorder seemed to befall the entire room. Papers and books lay on the floor and scattered across the oak desk. A podium, that probably once held a statue, was leaning diagonally against the huge throne like chair behind the desk and he suspected that whatever had been sat on top of it was more than likely laying in pieces out of view.

Draco was the only occupant.

Swallowing the lump that had appeared in his throat, he pushed himself away from the door and took a step further into the library like room. 'Study' Draco corrected in his mind.

It happened again.

"What a disappointment you are, boy." His father's voice purred in his ear and he gasped, spinning around in a circle looking for the source of the voice.

An unsavoury, malicious chuckle sounded around the him and Draco clamped his eyes shut, willing it to stop.

He began to back up towards the bookshelves, feeling uneasy about not being able to see every aspect of the room. Unaware of how close he was already, he bumped against the shelves in his eagerness causing a few loose books to fall from their places landing on the ground beside him with two distinctive thumps.

A thrill of fear crashed over him and he stumbled away from the sound only to trip over a pile of books on the floor to his right. He fell to the ground and cried out in surprise as he crashed on top of the thick tomes.

"Get up, boy. Get up and face it like a man, like a Malfoy!" An enraged voice bellowed in his ear and he flinched at the sound.

An image of his father slammed so forcefully into him that a bubble of vomit rose through his throat and he had to throw himself over on to his side to prevent himself from choking on it.

"How dare you! How dare you soil my study, you disgusting boy!"

"I apologize, Father." Draco choked, trembling as he tried to pull himself to his feet.

"Come here. Show me how sorry you are." His Father purred, his voice mocking yet leaving no room for argument.

Draco flinched and scanned the room, reassuring himself that he was still alone and that it was all in his head. He drew in a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, but the smell of cigars and leather assaulted him again and a deluge of images began flipping in front of his eyes like the pages of a photo album. One after another. Only instead of happy smiling faces, this album was full of horror and pain.

"Please! Please…stop!" Draco whimpered to himself, shakes wracking his body as he once again began to vomit. "Oh, god. Please. No."

It all suddenly made sense. Harry's enigmatic concern. Blaise's determination to accompany him to the funeral. They both knew, they both knew what his father had done and were worried how he would react upon arriving back to the scene of his suffering.

How had he forgotten this? How had he managed to block what his father had done to him? And how could he get it back? He wanted to forget again, for it to go away.

The images he had experienced, memories, dated so far back that it caused Draco to heave again. He had been a child. How could his father do that to a child, let alone his own son? How could he cause him so much pain, so much distress?

Tears were now streaming down his face, and a panic was flooding through his veins like ice water. He wanted Harry to come and save him again, like he had done before. He remembered now, Harry saving him from his father. He remembered _everything_ now.

But no one was here to save him. Not Harry, not his Mother.

His Mother.

A surge of memories assaulted him again as he pictured her face. Only now, he remembered. She had suffered too. They had loved each other, he and his Mother. They had suffered together. When Draco had been through the worst that Lucius could do, it was his Mother who had nursed him, taken care of him.

Loved him.

Draco hauled himself to his feet, and stumbled to the door. He had to get out of the study, away from the link to his Father and back to the love of his Mother. He ran, blinded by agonising tears, up the staircase and into the room where she lay.

He could hear his heartbeat thumping in his eardrums as though it were trying to taunt him. Thump, thump, thump. He was still alive and his Mother wasn't. Her heartbeat stilled forever, leaving him to carry on alone.

Had she known that her beats were numbered? Had her heart tried to fight against death as it crept up on her or had it stopped willingly? Had she welcomed an end to her tortured life, gladly trading it for the unknown?

Draco gazed at her lifeless face, hoping desperately that she had fought. Fought to live, to stay with him.

"Mum." Draco sobbed quietly, clutching at her hand, shuddering at the coldness of it.

He clamped his eyes shut as more traitorous tears spilled forth and landed silently on Narcissa's dress, leaving tiny water marks to stain the fabric.

"Draco." Professor Snape's voice gently floated into his consciousness.

Draco straightened and drew in a shaky breath. His trembling hand still clutching his mother's.

"She's cold. She's cold, she needs a blanket. She's cold." Draco all but sobbed, looking around desperately for something to use to wrap around her cold body.

"Draco, it's okay. She'll be okay, she doesn't need a blanket." The professor said gently.

"She's cold. I don't want her to be cold. Please sir, she needs a…" Draco begged, sobs making it impossible to continue speaking coherently. "…He…he…hurt…us...she…she's cold…and…".

"It's okay, Draco." And his Head of House did something so unexpected, that under different circumstances, would of caused Draco to stare in disbelief, however right then he was just grateful.

Professor Snape unbuttoned his robe and silently handed it to the Slytherin. Draco held it for a moment in his shaking hands before placing it over his Mother's frail, cold body making sure to tuck it in around the edges.

"Thank you." He whispered, gazing at Narcissa's sallow face. He was unsure who he was actually thanking.

"Sir. I think I need help." Draco breathed, tears still trailing down his face. "I think something is wrong with me." He turned wide eyed to his mentor, who was watching him closely.

"We'll take care of it, Draco. You have my word."

Nodding shakily to the professor, Draco turned back to his Mother and tried to smile.

"Goodbye Mum." He whispered, and leant to kiss her icy forehead. "You're safe now."

He straightened up and wiped his face roughly. "I'd like to leave now." He said, turning back to Snape, who nodded and led him away from the coffin and toward the exit.

All he wanted to do now was get back to Hogwarts…and back to Harry.

To Be Continued….

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A/N: Thanks again for reading, feel free to review and let me know what you think. Does anyone else feel that the phrase 'Oh, what tangled webs we weave' is at all appropriate to Harry and Draco! Lol.

Until next time… xxx


	10. We All Fall Down

I own nothing. Especially not a cute pair of Converse shoes with cartoon sea life. Yes, I am jealous!!!

A/N: Chapter 10, ta-da! 2 in one week, look at me go! Things will start to make more sense (hopefully) in the next chapter. Draco's problems will be revealed, but I don't think the bigger picture is set to become very pretty in the near future. Guys really need to find a better way of dealing with problems haha.

_**Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far, big love. Meghan7474, you know you rock, girl. You always give me the confidence to post my chapters and so far (…) you have yet to have a bad word to say. Harry and Draco send you slashy love and hugs. Me too lol x**_

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Chapter 10 - We All Fall Down.

**Harry**

'Oh, God. What have I done?!'

Harry's eyes flew open and he stared at the wall in front of him, clutching at Ginny's thick jacket with clawed hands, as though he wanted to rip her away from his body. He was sure that she could feel him trembling, shaking with absolute fear and revulsion.

Every muscle in his body froze, as though it were on lock down. His heart stopped, and abruptly started again with a lurch and he gasped as it frantically began slamming against his chest. His mouth, which had been salivating a few seconds earlier, was now completely dry and his throat burned from the suddenness of it.

Ginny, somehow, seemed to be blissfully unaware of The Boy Who Lived's state of mind and was lightly dropping sweet kisses along his jaw, contentment practically oozing from the red head.

What the hell had he done? She had said 'I love you, _too_' meaning that she was replying. Had he said it? Had he said the three words that could destroy everything?

Surely not. He had been thinking of Draco. He had been trying to pretend that the girl before him was the Slytherin.

In an irrational moment of fear and uncertainty he had thrown caution to the wind and kissed Ginny, in the vain hope that he would somehow be reprieved, somehow be given a chance at being normal.

But still, he had been thinking of Draco. And the evidence suggested that he had said 'I love you'.

Did that mean he… loved Draco, then? Just thinking the question sent a mixture of confusion and joy to surge through his veins. Love. It was a strong word. Especially when they hadn't been involved for very long. But then again, they had been through a lot together in the weeks they had 'known' each other, some might say that it would have been more surprising if they hadn't fallen for one another.

It couldn't be true though. He would know if he loved someone. Surely.

Love. Draco. The thought excited him as much as it scared him.

Harry felt as though he were fighting himself. Half of him was pulling itself closer to Ginny, begging for him to keep the connection, keep the scrap of normality he had in his life. To cling to it with both hands and never let go.

The other half was pulling Harry away from the red head, away from her and toward Draco.

Awareness that he was currently hurting people that he cared for slammed into him and he shook harder with the knowledge.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Ginny cooed, brushing her hand through his hair, unsticking it from his damp forehead.

He couldn't look her in the eye, he couldn't stand to see the happiness that he knew would be evident in her crystal blue orbs.

He knew, in that moment, that whatever his answer to that question was he was going to shatter someone's trust and respect and…love. He just didn't know who he'd be hurting until he did it.

Draco or Ginny? Gay or straight? Love or acceptance? Extraordinary or Normal?

Rock or a hard place?

"Harry, are you okay? You're shaking." Ginny's concerned voice feeling like a knife in his heart.

Ginny was someone who was safe. She loved him and if he tried hard enough he could love her back, he truly believed that. After all, she was here, even after the way he had treated her. She had never kept anything from him, had never scared him as much as Draco had done in the past few weeks.

And Draco? He had made Harry feel things he never thought possible. Including a degree of self-loathing. Was that really something 'The One' is supposed to make you feel? Were they supposed to make you feel redundant and betrayed, like he had made Harry feel today?

Ginny had never caused him to feel such negative emotions. The only thing he felt with her was indifference.

Indifference or betrayal. Not much of a positive selection.

"Harry?" Panic now touched Ginny's tone, and Harry saw from the corner of his eye that she was looking around, perhaps looking for a passer-by to ask for assistance.

"Ginny." Harry whispered. He wasn't sure what he was going to say next. He just wanted her to stop panicking. His thoughts were so conflicted, so confused that he just wanted to run again. Run and not let her find him.

The time had come. Someone was going to get hurt, Harry's future rested on what he was about to say, what direction he was choosing, which path he decided was the best to walk.

"I've missed you." He whispered, his eyes closing against a wave of tears that began to fall. He was sure she'd know he wasn't being entirely honest, sure that she'd see how difficult this was for him to say.

He felt her shift in his arms and then her lips were suddenly on his, claiming them. An image of Draco flashed behind his eye lids and he screwed them up tighter trying to dispel it.

It was harder this time, kissing her. He forced himself to remember who it was he was with, forced himself to concentrate on Ginny. If he was going to do this, then he'd do it properly.

He found more flaws this time though. Her lips were rough, as though they had become chapped from the cold weather. Her bottom lip was fuller than the top and the pressure felt off balance because if it.

"Harry? Ginny?" A surprised voice came from the entrance of the alleyway, and Harry screwed his face up against the crook of Ginny's neck as she turned to the sound of her name.

Fear sprang forth again, and Harry felt himself begin to tremble. Seamus had never felt so threatening as he did in that particular moment, and The Boy Who Lived wanted nothing more than to be away from him.

"Are you guys okay?…Harry?" Seamus asked, his Irish voice apologetic. Harry could just imagine his face, his thick blonde eyebrows pulled together in a concerned frown.

Harry drew in a shaky breath and pulled his face away from Ginny's coat. Aware that there were still tears in his eyes, he turned to face his dorm mate and found that he couldn't look him in the eye. Seamus knew the truth, after all.

"We're fine." He croaked, and then made himself glance at the other boy's face.

Seamus looked unconvinced. His eyes flickered back and forth between him and Ginny, and the frown that Harry had imagined was fixed into place. His gaze lingered on Harry, as though pleading the other boy to follow him, to talk to him.

"We're getting back together, Seamus." Ginny announced suddenly, and The Boy Who Lived felt his eyes widen as he continued to stare at the Irish boy.

Seamus's mouth opened and closed again as though he was about to say something. He looked at Ginny with the most pitying expression Harry had ever seen , and he was sure that the Irish boy was going to tell her. Was going to let her in on what he suspected Harry of being.

"You are?" Seamus asked, his gaze now fixed on Harry.

Harry nodded his head fractionally, and swallowed against the lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat. What was he doing? Was this what he wanted, did he want to be with Ginny?

"Well, that's unexpected." Seamus remarked. He began fidgeting, apparently unsure of what to do with his hands. He alternated between putting them into his pockets and folding them in front of his chest. He appeared to be reluctant to leave, as though he couldn't bear the thought of letting Harry continue to make this mistake.

"Well, I wouldn't say unexpected Seamus. We have been dating forever-" Ginny chuckled, apparently giddy from joy. "-we just had a bit of a set back, didn't we Harry? We've realised now that we hate being apart." Her hand caressed lovingly at the back of Harry's neck.

Seamus's eyebrows rose slightly as he watched Harry. The Boy Who Lived realised that his lip was curling ever so slightly and that the Irish boy had caught it.

"Was there something you wanted, Seamus?" Harry asked abruptly, uncaring how rude he sounded. The Irish boy seemed unfazed though, if anything he looked as though this behaviour was expected. A small sympathetic smile played at his mouth, and he nodded fractionally to himself.

"Yeah, we're all heading back to the castle. I'm sure everyone will be surprised by your news." Seamus smiled.

Ginny practically beamed at the prospect of announcing their 'reunion' and began to tug Harry out of the confines of the alleyway.

"Come on, Harry. Everyone will be so pleased." She smiled brightly.

Harry swallowed as bile made its way up his throat. What the hell had he done? What the hell was he doing?! Was this it? Were he and Ginny officially back together? Had he chosen to be straight, to be safe?

It had all happened so quickly.

His red 'Draco' flag was, once again, flapping around angrily in his head, and he knew he had seriously caused some major damage.

What the hell was he going to do? It was easy enough choosing to be straight, to be normal, but that didn't stop him wanting Draco. His heart literally ached at the thought of hurting the other boy. Surely seeing Harry on the arm of Ginny was going to hurt the other boy; he hated her with a passion, after all.

And what about the way the Slytherin had been acting recently, his bizarre behaviour. The forgetfulness and that odd reaction to Harry's kiss a few weeks prior. Harry had forgotten about that in his annoyance at being left out of the loop concerning Draco attending his mother's funeral.

Oh, god. The funeral. How could Harry let Draco see him with Ginny when he had been spending the day mourning the loss of his mother?

How could he be so selfish?

As they left the alleyway and entered the main street, their friends came into view. Hermione and Ginny exchanged a loaded look and suddenly matching squeals of delight burst out of each girl. Ron seemed completely oblivious and gave Harry the look he reserved for when he clearly wanted to say 'Girls!'

Harry couldn't shift his expression from anything other than shock. He knew he was going to have to explain himself to his friends, knew that he was going to get the third degree from Ron, but at the moment he couldn't move passed the thought 'What am I doing!?'.

"So?" Hermione's voice enquired. Harry swallowed a swear word that danced on the tip of tongue, begging to be spat at Hermione. She knew full well what was going on, she knew everything and yet she had to ask, had make the situation worse.

"We're back together!" Ginny gushed, giving Hermione a one armed hug whilst clinging onto Harry's hand. Ron turned and glared at The Boy Who Lived, his gaze so intense Harry actually thought he was trying out the theory 'If looks could kill'.

"Isn't that something else!" Seamus said, clapping Harry on the back. Harry cringed as the groups attention turned to him and everyone began congratulating him. Everyone except Ron, of course.

He tuned out the jovial voices and concentrated on his dilemma. What the hell was he going to do?

He let himself be led back to Hogwarts, his mind turning over the possibilities. Did he just go along with it? Now that he and Ginny were 'back together' did he just stick with it, let his life take the course it was supposed to take. Marriage, children, the whole bit. Or did he back out now, while he still had the chance? Before Draco got wind of anything that happened in Hogsmeade. Before he hurt Ginny further and alienated everyone he had ever cared about.

Harry felt himself being ushered somewhere that was dry and warm, and as he looked around he realised he was in the Entrance Hall at Hogwarts. He glanced at his friends, and found himself standing next to Seamus. Panic overwhelmed him as he realised that everyone was busy having their own conversations and that the Irish boy had an opportunity to speak to him.

Seamus, to his credit, appeared sympathetic as he leaned towards his ear and began speaking.

"What you're doing is out of order, Harry. You're not that person, you're not selfish. Don't use her like this." He pleaded.

Harry glanced at Ginny's hand that was clutching his own and closed his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about." Harry breathed, his voice sounding shaky even to himself.

"Harry. Stop being an arse. Don't hurt her because your scared, okay. I swear to you, I will not breath a word to anyone. Just don't do this to her."

Harry cringed, knowing that the other boy was right. How had he gotten himself into such a mess? He was ultimately going to hurt Ginny, but there were dozens of people who were in that category now. Draco, Ron, Hermione, The Weasley's. He was going to ruin relationships left, right and centre if he didn't handle this correctly. That didn't stop the denial from forcing it's way out of him though.

"Seamus, I'm not…I'm not gay. Alright." He choked, completely ruining it by stammering. His voice breaking on the word 'gay' probably made it sound less convincing too.

"Harry, I can help mate. A friend of mine back home went through this, I watched him acting the exact same way you are. Only this time I know what I'm seeing. Let me help you, Harry." Seamus begged, his voice completely sincere, and for a moment Harry felt a very different kind of lump in his throat.

Again, however, the denial spilled out and may as well have slapped Seamus across the face.

"I don't need your help, I'm not queer. So, just fuck off Seamus." Harry whispered frantically.

He ripped his hand from Ginny's and began pushing his way through the crowd toward the marble Staircase. He ignored the cries of outrage as he stood on peoples toes and shoved passed them. He just wanted to get to his dorm, away from Seamus who had stood in utter shock at Harry's rebuttal. Away from Ginny, who was probably either following him or asking Seamus what had happened. Away from Ron, who had done nothing but glare at him since they had left the alleyway in Hogsmeade, and Hermione who was walking around with a smile so big she looked as though a coat hanger was wedged in her mouth.

Without looking or caring about where he was going, Harry slammed into someone who was stood on the bottom step of the staircase. He felt cold fingers brush against his own, and his eyes whipped up to met a stormy grey gaze.

Draco was so pale he looked as though he could pass for a corpse. His eyes were bright red and there was a shiny quality to them, as though tears were ready to fall. A shaky smile sprang to his mouth, but his bottom lip was definitely trembling.

Harry was so stunned by the other boys appearance that he openly stared at him, his mouth falling open slightly in shock.

"Harry." Draco whispered so quietly that the only way Harry could understand was by the movement of his lips. Relief seemed to roll off the Slytherin in waves, and The Boy Who Lived was momentarily oblivious to his own problems.

"I'm sorry." Draco whispered again, he subtly glanced around and must have found it safe to continue because he carried on. "I'll never keep anything from you again. I swear."

Guilt slid through Harry's veins like poison and he let out a breath through his nose, keeping his mouth clamped shut, preventing himself from blurting out what had happened during the Slytherin's absence.

Draco, taking Harry's silence for anger, closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Opening his eyes he gazed at Harry, and The Boy Who Lived saw the pain and torment behind his watery stare.

"Harry - " He breathed, closing and opening his eyes again. Steeling himself, Harry realised. "- I just…look, no matter what's wrong…just know…I..." He stammered, glancing around again.

Harry continued to stare at him, the guilt he felt practically choking him. He wasn't prepared for a run in with Draco. He hadn't sorted out his feelings yet, he hadn't decided what he wanted.

A voice in the back of his head whispered that he'd already made his choice back in the alleyway in Hogsmeade, but gazing at the Slytherin's broken face convinced him otherwise.

Draco looked terrible. There was no other word for it. He had obviously been crying, his eyes had a lost, staring quality to them. It looked as though Draco was on the edge, mentally unable to take much more.

His clothes and hair were rumpled, untidy. This would have alarmed Harry in itself because he had learned that Draco was rather obsessive when it came to his appearance.

The thing that struck Harry the most, that screamed for his attention, demanded it, was how truly vulnerable and scared Draco was. The Slytherin was stood in the Entrance Hall, that was full of people arriving back from Hogsmeade, on the verge of tears…and he did nothing what so ever to hide it. He seemed as though he were passed caring, as though there was nothing that could be worse than how he was already feeling. The attention or opinion of the student body around him was insignificant.

He stared at Harry with pleading eyes, begging him to help him, to save him.

Did Harry want to save him? Did he want to be tied even closer to the other boy, to have the connection between them strengthened even more? Surely, walking away now, back to Ginny, would be for the best. Cutting ties now, sooner rather than later. Before they both got in too deep.

**Draco**

The journey back to Hogwarts had been shockingly different to the one to the Manor. As more minutes passed, more memories came back to Draco. More pain, more suffering.

Lucius kept whispering in his ear, taunting him. The words he spoke both vulgar and cruel in a voice so clear that it felt as though he was sat beside him. Childishly, Draco put his fingers in his ears. Hunched over with his head practically on his knees, he rocked slightly back and forth. In his head he played the sound of piano over and over in a desperate attempt to silence his father, silence the memories; The torment.

Why had he wanted this back, this misery, this endless succession of evil acts and unspeakable pain? Why had he forced himself to remember when his brain had tried to purge itself of such disgusting and violating images? He should of realised, he should of understood. If his memory had decided to delete seemingly random portions of time, then surely their was a reason; Everything happens for a reason, doesn't it.

Something in him obviously felt it was all too much. And now that he had hunted the blank spots down, uncovered them…he was reaping his rewards. It was like some sick game of hide and seek. He'd found his quarry , the game should be over. He wanted it to be over.

Professor Snape had left him alone, but unlike earlier on that day Draco wished he would do the opposite. He knew that it wouldn't last long, that soon enough he'd be getting help, that he'd be sick of having people around him.

When they arrived back at the school Draco stared at the castle from the back seat of the car. He let Professor Snape guide him out of the car and up to the entrance, let him speak comforting words of reassurance that he was going to given the care he needed.

He was told to wait in the entrance while the potions master went to fetch Madam Pomfrey, and soon enough he was left alone. Only he wasn't alone, because students were milling around, running through the entrance doors trying to escape the cold outside.

Draco stood slumped against the centre pillar of the staircase watching people arrive back from Hogsmeade. The happy smiles on their faces twisted at his stomach. Bitterness and jealousy welled up inside him, threatening to choke him. If only he had not gone home, stayed here with Harry like he had planned to do. Everything would still be the same, he'd still be ignorant to his past, blissfully unaware of the terrible secrets locked inside his head.

He waited for the moment that Harry would pass through the doors, perhaps laughing with his friends or scowling because he'd been dumped so unceremoniously.

Among all the feelings Draco was experiencing, guilt was pretty high up the list. He felt terrible for abandoning Harry, for just taking off without a word. The Gyrffindor had probably spent the day worrying about Draco, stressing out on how he was handling being back at the Manor after the run in with his father a few weeks previous.

He'd also be pissed. He probably thought that Draco found him untrustworthy, and that really wasn't the case. Draco trusted him completely, he just wasn't thinking clearly at the time.

Now he was seeing things more clearly than ever.

Draco couldn't help but feel that the areas of his life that had just vanished were significant. Surely, if he was forgetting things connected with his family and his parents, then he should of forgotten his friendship with Harry. They had grown close during the turbulent time of Narcissa's illness and death, so, in all fairness Harry should have disappeared along with everything else.

But he didn't.

And Draco knew why that was. He knew deep, deep down that the reason he didn't forget Harry, why he could never forget Harry…

Was because he loved him. Truly, madly and deeply loved him, so much in fact that he was impossible to forget. Impossible to be covered over or erased. The next conclusion Draco came to was that he had always loved Harry. From the first time he met him he had been intrigued. He'd tried to befriend him for god's sake. Harry knocking him back had hurt, and so Draco chose the only relationship that Harry offered; The one of the enemy. At least that way he had contact with the Gryffindor, had a reason to be around him. Even if it was to just be a pain in the neck.

And now, now that he and Harry had a friendship, a real relationship built out of trust and like, and pure enjoyment of the other's company; He realised how deeply his feeling ran, had always run. Love.

Draco Malfoy was in love with Harry Potter.

A flash of red hair caught Draco's eye and he glanced up to find the scowling face of Ron Weasley making it's way through the front doors. Draco straightened up knowing that Harry would be right behind him, and he eagerly waited to see The Boy Who Lived's face, to feel the safety he always felt when Harry was in the room.

The moment he caught sight of Harry's messy hair and wind chilled red face a sense of relief washed over Draco. True, the Gryffindor looked distracted, troubled even, but he was there. Draco frowned as Harry was herded into the room, apparently lost in thought, and it deepened when he realised how closely the Weaslette stood to him.

He watched as Finnegan leaned into Harry, and a thrill of fear shivered through Draco. For one small portion of a second he thought the Irish boy was going to kiss The Boy Who Lived, but apparently he was just whispering to him. He became intrigued when Harry looked as though he were arguing back to whatever Seamus had said to him, and when The Boy Who Lived broke away from his group entirely and began pushing through the crowd, the Slytherin prayed that his path would lead to him.

Harry wasn't watching where he was going, that much was obvious from the disgruntled looks and comments he was receiving from the victims of his stampede. He, apparently, hadn't spotted Draco either because he was heading right toward the staircase and hadn't even glanced to see if anyone was there.

A gasp escaped Draco's lips as the Gryffindor slammed into him, and he abruptly sucked in as much of Harry's scent as possible. An aura of warmth and relief surrounded the Slytherin and he felt a shaky smile slide onto his face as he reached out and brushed his hand against Harry's.

"Harry" He heard himself whisper, and in that moment all of the day's events, the emotions he had felt, spun around his head and he felt sickeningly dizzy. But at the same time he felt better because Harry was there, and he knew with the Gryffindor around he would be able to handle it. He'd be able to handle anything.

The Boy Who Lived stared, wordlessly. His mouth was open ever so slightly, as though he were stunned by Draco's sudden appearance.

The room melted away as soon as they made eye contact, the only person in the world at the moment was Harry.

Draco desperately wanted to fall into the Gryffindor's arms and stay there. He wanted this weight that was pressing down on him, crushing him, to be shouldered by someone else just for a little while. He wanted to be saved. By Harry.

He was aware how close to the edge he was, he could already feel the gravity coaxing him, begging him to fall. The only thing keeping him away from the precipice, from the dark waters of insanity was Harry.

The Gryffindor still hadn't said anything, had barely moved except to let out a angry breath from his nose. His mouth was clamped tight, so firmly that the edges of his lips had turned white. Draco knew that the other boy was mad, could tell from his demeanour and all he could do was apologize and promise never to keep something so big from him again. Harry still didn't respond, and Draco closed his eyes fearing the worst, that he had ruined it all.

So, he tried to explain.

"Harry. I just…look, no matter what's wrong…just know…I..." He stammered, unsure of where to start, what to explain first.

Harry just continued to stare at him, to look right through him. Draco glanced around, hoping that they would continue to be left alone. He didn't want an audience for what he was about to say, but he knew it had to be said now, it couldn't wait for a more convenient time or setting. Harry had to know how he felt, how sorry he was for hurting him. He had to know now.

"Harry, I lo-" He began.

"Oh, don't start ferret! Come on Harry, don't let him spoil our day." The Weaslette cooed, her voice sickeningly sweet and adoring.

Draco turned his head slowly to gaze at her, and his stomach clenched as he watched her weave herself around The Boy Who Lived, latching onto his side like the leech that she was. He stared at her, his face shockingly blank, all emotion draining out of him until there was nothing left. He could feel the precipice beneath his toes now, feel the edge pulling him forward.

"Gin, leave it." Harry croaked, attempting to extract himself from her claws, but she wasn't letting him go easily.

"Babe, he really isn't worth it, you know that. Let's just go up to the common room and celebrate."

Draco couldn't breathe, he felt as though he were suffocating. He was drowning again, like he had in his dreams. He was going to fall, fall so far down that he'd never be able to get back up again.

He turned, his face desperately trying to stay blank, his eyes fighting the tears that threatened to fall, and looked at Harry.

The Boy Who Lived had his eyes closed, his teeth clamped so hard on his bottom lip that he was drawing blood.

Did Harry really think that? Did he believe that Draco 'wasn't worth it'? Celebrating? Celebrating what? So many thoughts bounced around Draco's head that he could barely see straight, his eyes flooded with tears and there was nothing he could do about it, he couldn't stop it, he couldn't take any more.

His brain was over loading, it had tried to protect itself by forgetting everything, but he had forced it to remember and now with Harry's addition it couldn't cope. His world was tumbling down around him, everything that had once made sense no longer did so.

A black mist was closing in around the edges of his brain, and the world began to move in slow motion. He felt someone grip his shoulders and shake him, and he focused on Harry's worried face. The Boy Who Lived was talking to him, but his words made no sense. All Draco could hear was muffled murmurs.

His father was screaming inside his head again, his mother's face flickered in front of his eyes and Harry…Harry was stamping on his heart.

He felt himself slump against Harry's body, felt the other boy's hands secure themselves around his waist, his breath washed over Draco's face in hot moist bursts.

He had to say it now, before it was too late. Even if he didn't return it, even if he chose the weaslette, Harry had to know. He had to know how Draco felt.

"I love you, Harry." He whispered before the darkness closed in, and he was left with nothing.

To be Continued…

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A/N: Mind your step, there seems to be a cliff edge there haha. 'Oh no!!! What the hell is going on?' I hear you cry. I'll keep it short…Harry is a douche bag grrr.

Thank you for reading, and if you have a spare sec would you mind ever so much clicking the review button and letting me know what you think? Feel free to bitch about Harry, my beta and I have been lol.

Until next time… xxx


	11. Romeo or Paris?

I own nothing, except the chance to watch good British Soaps! Haha,

A/N: Hey guys, chapter 11 ta-da! I have truly worked myself into the ground with this chapter, because chapter 12 was already written and sitting redundant in my documents, waiting to be posted! I won't be posting chap 12 for a day or two because I'd rather see the feedback for this one first, give me a chance to change it if need be lol.

Anyway, enjoy x

_**Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed, you make the sleep deprivation worth it!**_

_**Pcon, your 'good chapter' thoughts pulled me through the mental block! I'm so glad I didn't kill you, I kinda like having you around haha. **_

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Chapter 11 - Romeo or Paris?

**Draco**

Draco was in trouble.

He'd fallen into stormy waters and they had dragged him beneath their surface, buried him in their icy depths. His lungs burned as he tried to keep a hold of his last supply of air. It felt as though his chest were expanding from the pressure, the pain so intense that he was sure he was dying.

He twisted and turned, flailing around, searching for the surface, but he didn't know which way was up. A solid wall of water surrounded him, pressing against him from all sides, pushing him further down. Or up. He couldn't tell. He couldn't find a lifeline, a way of escaping the torturous waters that promised his death.

"Malfoy, can you hear me?" A voice echoed loudly through the water. Draco rotated, searching for the person who had spoken. All he could see was water.

"Dray?" The voice was worried, afraid. Was the other person drowning too? Did he know the owner of the voice? His brain registered familiarity, but it was too strained to make any kind of connection.

"You're scaring the shit out of me." It whispered in his ear, and he finally realised who it was.

Harry. Draco opened his mouth to call back, to let Harry know he was in trouble, but he realised his error a second too late as water spilled into his mouth and flooded his lungs.

He flailed around more desperately now, hopelessly searching for the surface, for air. His body quickly began to lose the energy it had managed to sustain with his meagre supply of oxygen and he fought as it tried to shut down.

_No! Harry! _He thought frantically as he tried swimming upwards, desperately hoping that he was pulling himself toward the surface. He made no progress as his arms became heavier, his legs like lead weights making it impossibly hard to continue kicking. And the water once again sucked him down.

_My young prince. I'm here, you aren't alone. _A women spoke softly. She was calm, serene almost.

Draco's heavy eyelids battled to close, but he pushed them open, searching out the women.

Blonde hair floated around him like tall grass swaying in a breeze. A beautiful pale face was inches from his own, and he could do nothing but stare at it.

His body surrendered, gave up it's fight instantly as he gazed at his mother.

_Mum?_ His thoughts whispered.

"Jesus, his pupils are huge! What does that mean?" Harry shouted from somewhere above him. Draco slowly looked up, praying he would see the Gryffindor, but he suddenly looked back at his mother, worried that she might have disappeared.

Her face still hovered in front of his, a small smile playing at her mouth. Draco wanted to touch her, but his arms were too heavy. Black spots burst across his vision and he blinked trying to clear them away.

_Don't give up, my prince. Now is not your time._ Narcissa whispered.

Draco's lungs were on fire, and his body was shutting down. His legs hung below him, dragging him further into the murky waters.

"No. He looked ill, not drugged." Harry, once again, shouted from somewhere above them.

The smile was still on Narcissa's beautiful face as she watched Draco's eyes fall closed.

_I can't fight it anymore, mum. _Draco thought in resignation. The water was winning, he was dying.

_You love, my prince. You will fight, and you will win. For him._ His mother whispered.

_He loves her. We're enemies. _He thought, and the image of his mother began to fade.

Someone was touching him, lifting him. He could feel himself gliding through the wall of water, however, her voice followed.

_Remember, my prince, the greatest love story of them all. Remember what Juliet thought of her Romeo._

Draco's mind darkened, yet his lungs stopped burning as the water disappeared. He felt himself drifting through air and he could finally relax. He welcomed unconsciousness now, welcomed an end to the struggling._…_

Draco's eyes snapped open, and he was assaulted by a blinding light. For a second he thought he was dead, thought he had drowned. Different images flickered through his head like the rapidly turning pages of a photo album. Harry. Drowning. His mother.

He wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't. Had he really spoken with his mother? Had she really guided him? Helped him?

He knew he had definitely spoken to Harry. He could remember his voice clearly, his expression when Draco crashed into his arms.

He had passed out on Harry. In the entrance hall. And Harry had been with…Weaslette. Harry and the Weaslette. Together…And then Draco fell.

His mother's last words repeated in his head. _Remember what Juliet thought of her Romeo_

But what if Draco wasn't Juliet's Romeo? What if he was someone else entirely…What if he was Paris? What if he was Harry's Paris?

"Harry."

The word spilled out of Draco's mouth before he could stop it. Harry. That single word felt like a comfort blanket being tucked in around his body, but now it also felt like wrench around his heart. He kept thinking of Paris.

"Draco? Are you awake?" A familiar voice asked.

Draco blinked at the unexpected sound, and it took him a second to realise who it was. He heard himself groan, and received an indignant noise from the other person. Swallowing hard, he answered.

"No, I'm asleep Pansy…you are actually a figment of my imagination." He croaked, turning his head slowly, ignoring the woozy feeling in his brain as his eyes searched the girl out.

Pansy was sat in an armchair beside his bed. Yes an armchair. The superior expression on her face when she saw Draco take in her position clearly said she was proud of herself. However, a concerned frown played around her eyes.

"I see your sarcasm survived a brush with death." Pansy smirked. "Well, a brush with having to touch Potter, but I'm sure you would consider them both just as bad as one another."

Draco gazed at the girl uncertainly. "Pans, don't. If you want to stay, tell me what happened." He demanded.

He was pretty sure by now that drowning had only taken place in his head. He didn't feel as though he had been struggling for his life. He wasn't even wet. Perhaps it had been a strange nightmare, caused by the collapse.

"You fainted. On Potter. Professor Snape _carried_ you here. That's it." Pansy informed.

"That's it?" Draco echoed. So, the image of his Mother hadn't been real. It had all been a dream. "What did Harry do?" he asked softly. He knew that the question was like attaching a tin opener to a can of worms, but he needed to know.

Pansy, to her credit, didn't remark on the nature of his questioning, however, her eyebrows did disappear into her fringe.

"I don't know, I wasn't there. I was already here when you arrived. Snape looked furious though. He said that he was going to have Potter expelled if it was the last thing he did."

"What? Why?" Draco demanded, pulling himself into sitting position and getting a head rush for his efforts.

"I don't know, Draco. I'll, no doubt, find out though." She replied with a sigh.

"Ah, Draco, you're awake. Miss Parkinson, could you please give Draco and I a moment alone." Professor Snape said, guiding Pansy out of her seat and away from the bed before she could blink.

When the professor came back his face was stony, as though he were trying to remain impassive, uncaring. He stood beside Draco's bed, his arms folded across his chest and scanned the young Slytherin's face for a few moments.

"How are you feeling?" He asked gently. "I imagine today has been exceedingly difficult."

Draco stared at his mentor and pondered his question.

How _was_ he feeling? He had so many answers to that question, that he didn't know which to choose. He went with the most prominent one.

"Confused." He whispered. Yes, he was definitely confused. Not one thing that happened all day had made the slightest bit of sense to him.

"Yes, I figured you would say that. Draco, when we were at the manor you told me that you needed help., that you felt something was wrong. Do you think you could explain that to me, the reasoning behind it?"

Draco wasn't sure how to answer, wasn't sure if he even knew the answer. He looked at Snape's face and found genuine concern in his expression. The older man sat down on the arm of Pansy's chair, and patiently waited for Draco to answer.

"I've been…I've been experiencing some…memory loss." He said haltingly, clearing his throat nervously. "And, today at the manor…the memories sort of…came back."

Snape nodded his head slowly, as though he had already worked that out for himself. "How long had you been experiencing this memory loss?" He asked, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

"Since...I was taken home, the day that mother died." Draco whispered. The image of his mother from his dream floated across his mind again, her words whispering in his ear.

He could tell by Snape's face that the man had an idea of what was going on with Draco's mental state. As soon as Draco said it had been his mother's death, the Potions Master 's face smoothed out, an expression of understanding replacing the concern.

"Tell me Draco, which memories were…misplaced?" Snape asked delicately.

Draco scanned the older man's face and understood that the professor knew which memories had vanished, knew the nature of them, the contents. Knew what he had gone through at the hands of his father.

"All the ones related to him." Draco whispered, afraid that he would be assaulted by the flashbacks that had bombarded him earlier that day. However, nothing struck him. He was just left with the knowledge of it all now. The images waiting in the wings of his mind for a time when he would accidentally call them to perform their scene.

Snape, once again, nodded. "How have you been in general? Have you been sleeping, eating O.K? Mood swings?" He seemed to be working with a checklist in his mind, asking Draco questions in specific order, ticking the boxes as he answered correctly.

Draco shrugged. "I don't know…I guess. Everything's just been so…odd, unsettling.." He trailed off, shaking his head in defeat.

"O.K. Draco, have you ever heard of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?" Snape enquired, his face serious.

Draco gazed at the older man uncertainly. He hadn't heard of the thing he had suggested, but he was sure he didn't like the sound of it.

He found himself unable to speak, his mouth losing all its moisture in the space of a second. He settled for shaking his head slowly, his eyes fixed on the Potions Master.

" O.K well, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a psychological and physical condition that can be caused by extremely frightening or distressing events. It can occur after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event such as death, personal assault, and other situations in which the you may feel extreme fear, horror or helplessness."

Draco stared at the older man blankly, his face completely slack. Psychological condition? He was…crazy?

"A lot of people tend to develop this condition because someone close to them died suddenly, which I think is perhaps what happened in your case. As you said, your memory loss was triggered the day Narcissa died and Lucius took you back to the manor." Snape said, his face apologetic for mentioning Draco's parents. However, he continued.

"Exposure to anything reminiscent to the traumatic event can trigger flashbacks and such. Which is what happened at the manor today? You experienced a flashback?"

Draco shuddered as he recalled being in his father's study, and the memories that had made him physically sick. His head jerked as he tried to nod.

"Flashback_s_. I had flashback_s. _There were a lot. All of them I think, the lost memories, they all hit me at once." He explained softly, gazing at the sheets on the opposite bed.

Snape shifted, apparently trying to find a way of comforting Draco without actually having to touch him. He settled for clearing his throat and looking out of the window behind Draco's bed.

"We will have to discuss this more over the next few days. We will need to do some tests so we can make a positive diagnosis, and once that is completed we can work out a treatment plan. You have my word, Draco, that we will do everything possible to treat this condition swiftly, and with utmost discretion." Snape informed, standing as he noticed Pansy beginning to hover back to Draco's bed. Draco nodded, still staring blankly at the opposite bed.

So, he was crazy. He had finally lost the plot. It figured, after all the years of loneliness and misery, that he would become crazy when he had someone who he wanted to be sane for. Bloody typical.

"What's the verdict? Are you dying?" Pansy asked with a snort.

Draco glanced at the girl, and then around his bay, and found that Snape had disappeared. He wondered if he had even said goodbye. If he was crazy, did they even have the conversation at all? Did his mind just invent it, like it did his mother when he was unconscious.

"You're not are you?" The Slytherin girl asked, this time concern colouring her tone when he didn't answer. She drifted closer to the bed, her teeth pulling at her bottom lip in an uncharacteristic show of worry.

Draco sighed, and shook his head gently. "Not today. Apparently, There's just something wrong with my brain." He said monotonously, picking at the sheet he was laying on, Snape's words leaving a chill in the air around him.

"I've been saying that for years" Pansy quipped, a smile in her voice. She perched on the edge of his bed, and Draco received a nose full of the Slytherin girl's vanilla scent. She had always smelled of Vanilla, even when they were children. Draco could remember when he would visit Pansy's house and she would drag him into her mother's bathroom and soak herself in perfume. He didn't like the scent then, either.

"You are a comedy genius Pansy, really, I don't know how I'm keeping my sides from splitting." Draco said with a roll of his eyes.

It felt strange, after all the weeks of avoiding his friends, to suddenly be back sparring, as though they'd been doing it everyday.

"So, this thing that's wrong with your brain…Is it responsible for all the hostility and isolation?" The Slytherin girl asked quietly.

Draco looked up at her and found her watching him, a sad expression marring her face. She looked truly upset that he had been avoiding her. He wondered what had made him so adamant that his friends had turned against him, when, obvious by their action today, they had done the opposite.

He didn't know how to answer her, and so he settled for a shrug and a sigh.

"How long have you had…it?" Pansy asked softly.

"It? You make it sound like a disease. It's…a stress disorder. Something to do with traumatic experiences. It started when…Mother died." Draco replied, watching as Pansy nodded.

"You should have spoken to someone, Draco. You should never have tried to deal with your mother's death alone." Pansy scolded softly, continuing in the same tone.

"As much as you've spent our entire lives trying to deny it, we're friends. I know you think I'm an airhead sometimes. You bitch and moan about me, and you are never going to let me live down the whole 'Netherlands not actually being real' thing, but we have known each other since we were born…and I've always been there for you. I would've helped."

Draco let his head fall back onto the pillows behind him, sighing heavily as he did so. He felt guilty. Guilty for making Pansy sound so sad, for avoiding her and shutting her out. He had the urge to comfort her, but he didn't know how…so he just stared at the ceiling, as though it had the answer to everything written across the stone.

"Do you remember when we were kids, and we'd play house?" Pansy asked after a stretch of silence. Her voice was lighter than before, however there was still a small amount of seriousness to it, as though her question wasn't as innocent as it seemed.

Draco blinked as he tried to remember. He was relieved when he found his recollections of their playtime together.

"You would always be the Dad. And when Blaise was your son, you'd keep hitting him with your toy wand." Pansy said softly. She spoke slowly, as though she were waiting for her cue that she'd gone too far or spoken out of turn. Draco continued to simply stare upwards.

"For a long time I just thought you were mean, it wasn't until the beginning of 4th year, on the Hogwarts Express that I actually began to think differently. Do you remember? You had all that bruising around your neck, and you said that you'd 'fallen off your broomstick'. I started paying more attention after that."

Draco finally looked down and rested his gaze the Slytherin girl's face. Her expression was sombre, her eyes scanning his face uncertainly.

They sat in silence for a long moment just looking at each other.

She was really quite beautiful in a unique way. Her long black hair that usually framed her face was pulled back in a messy knot at the back of her head, with loose strands falling around her neck and face. Her severe fringe fell into her chocolate brown eyes in an annoying 'just wish you could push it back' way. She was very much a women, equipped with the right curves and had a waistline most girls would kill for. Her nose was her only flaw, sticking up slightly at the end, earning her the nickname 'Pug face' from her enemies.

Her personality was just as appealing as her physical self. She was very quick witted , and as much as he did indeed proclaim her to be an airhead, she was incredibly smart.

Draco had never fancied her though. Even in the days when she received her first bursts of sexual desire and tried it on with him. Pansy had been one of the deciding factors to him admitting to himself that he was gay. After all, if he couldn't fall for her, or at least lust after her, than it wasn't going to happen with any girl.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He whispered. It puzzled him that she had never mentioned it. Pansy was well known in school for being a gossip, renowned for never being able to keep anything to herself.

"I didn't want you to feel pressured, I figured you had enough of that at home." She replied with a shrug.

Her answer surprised Draco. So much so, that he felt one of his eyebrows slide upwards. Pansy breathed a soft giggle at the sight and cocked her head to the side, like she did when she was feigning innocence. Draco wasn't fooled though.

"Since when did you become the epitome of consideration?" He asked, receiving a snort of indignation from the girl.

"Since I decided that I actually cared about certain people around me. Not that it ever does me any good though" She replied. This time, however, she looked away from Draco, a sad frown appearing on her face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco asked, his interest piqued. He leaned forward, trying to catch Pansy's eye under her mass of fringe.

She shook her head, and shrugged her shoulders in resignation. "It doesn't matter." She said, a fake smile spreading across her face, not quite reaching her eyes.

"Who is he?" Draco asked spontaneously. He figured it was probably a guy that was causing her problems, and took chance in asking.

Pansy looked at him for a second. Her face was like an open book, an array of different emotions playing across it like text on a page. Uncertainty, fear, judgement and finally resignation.

"I don't think you'll like the answer to that." She whispered.

He could tell she was desperate for him to pursue the subject though from the way she stared at him, her eyes wide, as though she were goading him to ask again.

"Would it make you feel any different about him, if I knew?" He asked, the challenge clear in his voice.

Her chocolate gaze bored into his own steely grey, and with a defiant shake of her head she answered.

"Seamus Finnegan."

Draco's back snapped up straight, physically taken aback by her reply. He could feel himself staring at her, eyes wide, face frozen in shock, but he couldn't help it.

Pansy was with Finnegan…The Gryffindor!

The Slytherin girl turned her head away from him in disappointment, a heavy sigh whooshing out of her mouth. "I told you, you wouldn't like it!" She spat bitterly.

Her tone snapped Draco out of his shocked trance, and he immediately felt guilty for reacting the way he did. Who the hell was he to judge anyone!

"It was a shock, that's all…believe me, I'm not judging you." He said in a rush, once again leaning forward to try and make eye contact with her.

"Of course you're not!" She snapped, turning her head further around so he couldn't look at her. "It's because of reactions like that, that we have to be so secretive. Why he is so afraid to even look at me in public!" She huffed, crossing her arms across her chest.

Draco knew he would have to do damage control. Pansy was upset and he would have to fix it, after all, they had only just started speaking again…he didn't want to lose that now.

"Pansy look at me." He said firmly, but she refused to turn back around. Shaking his head at the absurdity of what he was about to do, he spoke again.

"I didn't go through it alone. Earlier you said that I shouldn't have dealt with things on my own… and I didn't."

He bit his lip as he waited for her reaction. Fear trickled into his system at that point as he realised the risk he was taking, but he wanted to tell someone…just like Pansy had.

She didn't turn, but her head moved slightly to the left. She was obviously listening to him. Taking a deep breath, he revealed his secret.

"Harry was there." He breathed, his voice almost mute. The trickle of fear turned into a torrent as Pansy's head whipped around, a look of astonishment plastered across her face.

"Harry? As in Potter? As in the guy, Harry Potter? The Gryffindor, The Boy Who Lived…Your biggest enemy?" She fired at him, her tone dumbfounded.

Draco slowly nodded, his hands balling into fists which he stuffed in his lap. He realised he had just come out to the Slytherin girl, and he was suddenly fearful of her reaction. Was she more shocked by his sexuality, or his choice of partner?

"Potter?" She breathed again, her wide eyes still fixed on his face. "As in…you and Potter, together?"

Draco went against his every Malfoy instinct, and showed weakness by looking down, escaping Pansy's probing gaze. He knew she would take his silence as a yes, what was the point in uttering the word?

"Merlin, you're more screwed than I am." She informed, shaking her head in disbelief.

Draco was instantly annoyed by her statement. He snapped his gaze back up to her shocked face, and sneered at her. "What were you saying about people's reactions? You want to look in the mirror!"

Pansy's mouth fell open at his snide comment, and a humourless laugh escaped her lips.

"Are you serious? You weren't honestly expecting me to take that piece of information with a grain of salt were you? I told you I was with a random Gryffindor. You told me you're with the saviour of the bloody wizarding world and you're your biggest enemy. You're supposed to loath each other…! I'm sorry if I'm mildly surprised to find that you are actually…together" She laughed.

"Surprised, or repulsed?" He asked, his eyebrows rising in defiance. He was scared what her answer would be, but he was damned if he was going to show it.

Pansy sobered instantly. She looked as though she'd been slapped across the face.

"What? Repulsed? What are you talking about?" She murmured. She appeared genuinely confused.

"You know what I mean, don't make me say it!" When she continued to look blank, he snapped "That he's a guy!"

The slytherin girl laughed again, her hand flying up to her mouth in an attempt to stop. Draco felt as though he had been kicked in the stomach.

"Oh, come on, Draco! I knew you were gay before you did! Why do you think I stopped trying to entice you? I may as well have been hitting on a Dumbledore." She scoffed.

It was, once again, Draco's turn to be stunned. How the bloody hell did she know? Was he really that obvious?

At that moment the doors to the infirmary banged open, and stood there was none other than Seamus Finnegan. Draco turned his head to witness Pansy's reaction to her beau's sudden appearance, and frowned when he saw her grit her teeth in aggravation.

The Irish Gryffindor hovered awkwardly at the entrance, his eyes fixed on Draco, and odd expression behind them. He looked pleased.

"Pans, can I have a wee word?" He asked clearly, his voice echoed slightly around the ward.

Pansy sighed, and glanced at Draco, her face apologetic before standing and gliding over to the doors. Seamus watched every move she made, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smile as drew closer, and then they disappeared out the door.

Draco stared after them, his brain feeling like it was sponge that was in danger of releasing all of its contents.

Today really had been too much, and he wondered if it could possibly get any worse. His head fell into his hands and he released a tired sigh, the weight of the world suddenly pressing down on his shoulders.

He had so many things to think about, to worry about. He'd said goodbye to his mother at her funeral this morning, and had then spoken to her in a dream hours later. He had started the day with the feeling that something was wrong with him, only to have it confirmed with a load of terrifying flashbacks and a medical name. He had reformed ties with his two closest friends, and witnessed his…boyfriend? Cosying up with his ex girlfriend. And then his oldest friend reveals that she is seeing a Gryffindor, and has known he was gay longer than he had known himself.

Seriously, could things get _any_ worse?

He suddenly wondered why Harry wasn't there. The last time he had been in the hospital wing the Gryffindor hadn't left his side…

The image of him and Ginny Weasley burst across Draco's vision, and he threw his head back against the pillows, squeezing his eyes closed to try and rid himself of the awful sight.

Why were they doing that? Why were they acting as though they were together?

_Because they are!_ His inner voice heckled. _You're Paris, remember._ Paris. Again, Juliet's other pursuer played on Draco's mind, taunted him.

He was supposed to be Romeo. Harry was supposed be his…well, not Juliet but…Harry was supposed to want him! He had broken up with the Weaslette, had claimed to have no feelings for the girl…had acted as though he was as serious about their relationship as Draco was.

Was he so mad at Draco for not telling him about the funeral ,that he would get back with Ginny? Draco shook his head, realising how arrogant the thought was.

The only other conclusion he could come to was that Harry wanted to be with the Weasley girl. The thought made Draco want to gag, but he suppressed it. He would find out from Harry before he panicked too much. It could have been completely innocent, after all.

He trusted Harry. He really and truly trusted him, and knew that he wouldn't intentionally hurt Draco. He knew that much at least. They had shared too much together to be able to just walk away from it now.

Pansy strolled back inside the ward with a huge smile on her face, and Draco blanched at the probable reasoning behind it. He dreaded to think what the were doing in that hallway.

"I just had a rather interesting conversation." She smirked as she came to stand beside his bed. He noticed that she didn't sit down again, and guessed that Seamus was probably waiting for her outside.

"Really?" He murmured, waiting for the punch line.

"Uh-huh. Apparently Potter is walking around looking like someone has kicked his owl. Your fainting fit really did a number on him, Seamus came to find out if you were alive so he could report back." Pansy said, her eyebrows raised in mock outrage "How did my boyfriend know about you guys before I did?"

Draco stared at her like she'd grown another head. Finnegan knew? Harry had actually told Finnegan? It made no sense.

"What?" was all he could say. He was starting to get a headache now, he'd really had enough. _Could the surrealism stop now? _

"_Seamus has gone to tell Potter you are alive. I should probably make myself scarce, He's bound to come down here and I doubt he'll feel all that comfortable with me around, besides I have a meeting of my own." She smiled saucily. _

_Draco nodded distractedly._

"_Look, Draco, are you O.K? I didn't mean to shock you so much…about the gay thing. I just…I'm sorry."_

"_No. It's fine, forget it." He whispered, not really listening to the girl. _

_Harry had sent Finnegan down to make sure Draco was alright? Did that mean he couldn't get away, or that he didn't want to go down to the infirmary himself, didn't want to see Draco?_

"_Well, I'll catch you later on yeah? Everything is…O.K with us now?" She asked, suddenly timid._

_Draco glanced at her face and nodded slowly. "Yeah. We're O.K." He whispered._

_The Slytherin girl's face brightened and she bid her farewell and departed the hospital wing. Draco's eyes followed her as she left, stared at the door for a long moment, wondering if Harry would burst through at any given moment._

_A large part of him worried that the Gryffindor wouldn't come. Worried that he had ruined everything by keeping secrets. He'd told Harry that he loved him. Surely if Harry felt the same he'd be there. Draco knew if it were the other way around nothing would keep him away from Harry's side. _

_So, if Harry came to the hospital wing then it meant he felt the same. It meant that Draco was Romeo._

_If he didn't come, then it meant he was staying with Ginny. It meant that Draco was Paris._

_No matter which Harry chose, whether he came or not, Draco would still be in love with him. The only difference would be that Draco would either have the greatest love imaginable…or he would fall._

_To Be Continued…_

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_A/N: Thanks for reading! I'd really love to know what you all thought *said in my best review whoring voice haha*_

_Until next time…. xxx_


	12. The sun, for sorrow, not show his head

I own nothing.

_**Thank you for reading and reviewing, it means a lot! Big love! **_

_**Meghan7474 AKA Pcon, I'm going to be hated. Please, if I die at the hands of an enraged fanfic-er…tell my son I love him! Lol. Thanks for being an awesome beta x**_

A/N: I'm so sorry…

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Chapter 12 - The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head.

**Harry**

Gasps and excited chatter exploded around the entrance hall as Harry stood in complete shock, holding onto Draco's limp body with shaking hands. The Slytherin, who had been coherent and able a few seconds prior, passed out with frightening speed. His lithe frame slumping in Harry's arms that had flashed out automatically upon noticing the decline of the Slytherin's conscious state.

Harry was terrified. He had every reason to be terrified.

Firstly, Draco had just passed out for no apparent reason. Déjà vu crashed over Harry as he recalled the last time he'd been in this position, clinging onto an unresponsive Draco. The only consolation last time was that Draco had been injured and there was a sufficient, justifiable reason for him falling unconscious. This time however, Harry had no idea. He was completely in the dark.

Secondly, he was very aware of the amount of eyes currently resting on the two of them. People were practically pushing one another out of the way to get a better look, shouting out that Draco was dead and other such nonsense.

Thirdly, and most importantly, he heard four words escape Draco's mouth before he had fainted that sent a duplicate of every negative feeling he had ever felt to smash into him with sickening force.

Four words. Four unbelievable words.

I. Love. You. Harry.

He stared forward in wide eyed disbelief, his jaw buried in Draco's strawberry scented hair. His grasp on the Slytherin's body wavered between holding and hugging, seemingly unable to find the right response. Was he happy or was he afraid? Well, he was both. He was also disgusted, guilt ridden and absolutely devastated.

Ginny's shocked voice snapped him back to reality. "Harry, what's going on? What's wrong with him?"

'Oh, God.' his thoughts began to scream inside his head. 'Oh, God. Oh, God. _Oh, God_.'

"Help! Someone get some _bloody_ help!" Harry frantically demanded, and began to gently lower Draco to the ground, thankful that the Slytherin's body disguised the shaking of his hands.

Hermione and Ron were suddenly hovering over him, firing questions at him at alarming speeds. Hermione was trying to access the situation, asking if Draco had seemed ill or out of character. Ron was being Ron.

"Nice one, Harry. What did you do, punch him?" His voice boomed excitedly.

"Don't be stupid! Gin, explain what happened!" Harry ordered before turning his attention back to the Slytherin. His face was a deathly grey colour made worse by a sheen of clammy moisture, and his eyelids were flickering wildly, as though his eyeballs were swivelling about beneath.

"Malfoy! Can you hear me?" Harry asked, delicately tapping at the Slytherin's face afraid to do it more firmly out of fear of hurting him. "Dray?" He whispered, letting the fear creep into his voice. "You're scaring the shit out of me here." He continued.

Hermione's hands suddenly appeared in front of Harry and he flinched back, his eyes flying up to her face looking for any clue that she had heard him. She seemed focused though, tugging at Draco's eyelids to expose a stormy grey iris. Well, it would have been stormy grey if his pupil wasn't invading the space it usually held.

"Jesus, his pupils are huge! What does that mean?" Harry asked Hermione, who was frowning thoughtfully at the Slytherin.

"I can't be sure. Usually it's associated with head trauma or drugs… Ginny said he was acting strangely, swaying and stuff, you don't think he could have taken something, do you?"

Harry turned to face Hermione, horrified. His heart slammed into his chest as he considered her question. Would Draco take something dangerous? His first thought was 'No, absolutely not!'. But when he got passed that, doubts arose. Draco had obviously had a difficult day. God only knew what he had endured whilst being back at his childhood home, in the presence of his dead Mother's body. Maybe he had tried to ease the situation by…. And what was it he had said? '…No matter what's wrong…' What _was_ wrong? Was he trying to tell Harry that he'd done something bad, something irreversible?

_No, absolutely not! _His mind yelled, once again. This was Draco Malfoy! He knew him, he would never…

"No. He looked ill, not drugged."

"Well, he was talking to you. What did he say?" Hermione asked, pressing her fingers against Draco's neck to make sure his pulse was okay. Her lip curled distastefully as her finger came in contact with his skin. Harry wanted to hit her hand away, knowing that Draco would detest Hermione touching him, but he found no plausible excuse he could give when she enquired about his actions.

"Harry? What did he say?" She insisted.

Harry stared at Draco's face. The Slytherin's last few words were screaming inside his head, demanding his attention. What was he supposed to say? 'Oh, he told me he loves me…and then he fainted.' Not really what she was hoping to hear, was it.

Luckily, Harry's saviour came in an odd form.

"What is going on here? Out of my way!" Professor Snape's voice boomed over the crowd, which quickly parted to let him through.

"Potter, I should have guessed!" He began before his eyes landed on Draco's unconscious form. His expression darkened and, for a second, Harry was sure the Potions master was afraid for the young Slytherin.

"What happened?" He spat. "You! Explain." He demanded of Harry, maliciously.

Then with the agility of someone half his age, Snape swept down on Draco and swiftly checked him over before hauling him from the ground, holding him in his arms with apparent ease. Harry vaguely wondered why Snape didn't use a hover charm, but he quickly realised he didn't care.

He began trying to explain, but his words kept morphing together, his desperation to get the facts to Snape, in order to help the Slytherin, impairing his ability to speak coherently.

The professor, obviously irritated by Harry's babblings, turned on his heel and began to ascend the staircase, in the direction of the Infirmary. The Boy Who Lived jumped to his feet and began to follow but Snape, turning his head with a glare fixed on his face, stopped Harry in his tracks.

"Common room, now! And if I find that you have, in any way, harmed this boy I will make it my mission to have you expelled from this school." He snarled. He picked up his pace and disappeared when he reached the top of the staircase, leaving a stunned Harry in his wake.

"Harry? Is Snape blaming _you_? You didn't do anything!" Ron bellowed in indignation, as he and Hermione joined Harry in the middle of the staircase.

Harry could feel the concern and fear on his face, feel his heart slamming in his chest as though it were desperately trying to escape and follow Draco. His friends mistook his reaction as fear for himself because of Snape's threat. That was fine by him, let them think that.

More of his friends were milling around him now. Ginny was back at his side trying to stuff her hand into his unresponsive one. He ignored her.

He needed to be with Draco, to make sure he was okay, to find out what the hell was happening.

Had it been the sight of him and Ginny that had tipped Draco over the edge? Had Harry done more damage than he thought he would by being with Ginny, today of all days.

"Harry, it'll be alright. You have a tonne of eye witnesses who know you didn't do anything to him. Snape can't expel you." Hermione, the apparent voice of reason, exclaimed from beside him.

"Yeah, we were watching Harry-" Seamus chipped in, and Harry glanced at his face. The Irish boy's face was serious. "-We saw _everything_." He finished, his eyebrows rising slightly.

Harry stared at him, panic flooding his system so quickly he feared he'd be the next to pass out. Seamus had witnessed his exchange with Draco. He knew, he was letting Harry know that he knew. Oh, God. This couldn't be happening! How perceptive could one person _be?_

His friends were busy nodding their heads in agreement, echoing that they had seen nothing untoward. The Boy Who Lived couldn't remove his stare from Seamus. He knew he should leave, get back to the common room, get away before Seamus could tell everyone. Before Harry had to witness more people he cared about being dragged away from his clasp.

"It'll be fine. We're on your side…Don't worry." The Irish boy continued, his gaze boring into Harry's as though he were trying to imprint the message upon his brain.

His friends, assuming they were still talking about Snape, once again agreed, nodding their heads enthusiastically.

Harry continued to stare at Seamus, afraid to look away in case the other boy changed his mind and began to blab.

"Harry, come on, we should get back to the common room before Professor Snape comes back." Hermione said, tugging on his arm and leading him up the staircase.

He let himself be led back to the tower, his mind drifting over to the infirmary. Was Draco O.K? Was it serious?

"I can't believe _Malfoy_ passed out on you, Harry. And you caught him! I would have just let him fall to the floor." Ron laughed. Hermione began scolding him, however she was smiling. It was evident that she would have done the same thing as Ron.

"I mean, the little queer was probably just hoping for a grope anyway." The redhead said, making a gagging sound.

Ginny laughed and slipped her hand into Harry's. He wanted to shake her off and punch Ron, but fear was practically strangling him.

"Ew Ron. Come on, I don't want to think about Malfoy and Harry…that's way too disgusting." Ginny chuckled, her face screwed up as though she were ill.

Harry's stomach clenched painfully as everyone agreed with Ginny's statement. The conversation was too close to home, too on the mark.

He glanced around for Seamus, hoping that one friendly helpful face would stop him from feeling so destroyed, but he had disappeared.

His friends continued to heckle Draco, calling him cruel vile names. Harry was pissed at them. He desperately wanting them to shut up, but he was also selfishly afraid to demand such a thing. What would they say about him…if they knew? Surely, they would hate him just as must as they hated Draco.

That thought sent a wave of nausea to crash down on him so hard that he stumbled slightly into Ginny from the force of it.

"Are you O.K Harry?" She enquired, her voice sickeningly sweet.

"I'm fine. I lost my footing." He snapped. Her face was instantly apologetic and she began rubbing his arm with her free hand.

"We were only kidding, Harry. About Malfoy. We know you wouldn't grope him. I certainly know that you're not _gay_.-" She smiled naughtily at him and winked "- You're far too much of a man." She whispered, ever so subtly pressing her breast against his arm.

Harry swallowed against the lump that appeared in his throat. He refused to believe that it was vomit and tried his best to ignore it…and Ginny. She didn't make it easy though, finding it necessary to touch him at any given opportunity. He forced himself to endure it. After all, this what he had chosen. He needed to put up with this otherwise he'd lose his friends. It was as simple as that. He had to be normal. Otherwise he'd lose everything.

Their entourage made it to Gryffindor tower, and settled into the armchairs around the fire. Harry sat stiffly with Ginny on his lap, his hands gripping the armrests as though he were on a rollercoaster and was scared he might fall off. The redhead fingered lovingly through his hair, a broad smile planted on her face as she chatted with Hermione.

Ron cleared his throat purposefully, obviously trying to gain someone's attention. Harry glanced over and found his best friend's gaze resting on him, a meaningful stare passing between them. Ron's mouth was puckered sullenly, his eyebrows raised questioningly.

Harry shifted uncomfortably causing Ginny to jostle about on his lap. Unlike most guys, who would be excited by the prospect of their girlfriend grinding against their groin, Harry's stomach turned. He had the urge to push her off, but Ron was watching and how would he even begin to explain his actions?

Ginny, realising her position and the possible innocent 'pleasure' she could give The Boy Who Lived, subtly pressed back against him, rocking her hips ever so slightly.

Harry stared at the back of her head, attempting to think about anything other than what she was doing. Draco, obviously, was the first thought that demanded his attention. However, that did _not_ help the situation because the missing excitement made a sudden appearance as the Slytherin's face appeared in Harry's minds eye. He swallowed and squeezed his eyes closed in an attempt to dispel the image.

"Harry, can I have a word please?" Ron snapped. Harry's eyes snapped open and came to rest on Ron's face, only to find the red head glaring at him. Had Ron noticed what Ginny was doing, or was he just mad with Harry for being with Ginny in the first place?

Clearing his throat nervously, Harry nodded. "Sure, what's up?" He asked as innocently as he could manage.

Ron stood up and folded his arms across his chest. "Upstairs." He murmured, and without waiting for a response, he turned and made his way over to the staircase.

Harry glanced at Hermione, but wished he hadn't when he saw look on her face. It was a look that said 'Boy, you are really in for it!' He groaned knowing that she was probably right, however he couldn't help throwing the girl a sarcastic smile as he stood to follow her boyfriend.

"I'll be waiting for you." Ginny simpered, stroking his arm seductively. Harry made a non-committal noise before making his escape. Well, if you could call it an escape…Ron looked really pissed.

When he arrived in the dorm, Harry found Ron standing in the centre, his arms still folded across his chest, his face still looking annoyed. The Boy Who Lived warily closed the door behind him and mimicked Ron's body language. And then he waited for the redhead to rant.

Ron didn't disappoint.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at?" Ron demanded furiously, his face turning scarlet.

Harry didn't know how to answer, he wasn't exactly sure what Ron was asking. Had he seen what Ginny was doing downstairs? Or was he referring to their relationship? Or Harry's life in general?

"Erm…" Harry shifted uncomfortably, looking away from his friend, shrugging.

Ron huffed. "I won't let you hurt my sister again, Harry! You better treat her right this time, because if you don't I'll…" Ron seemed too annoyed to finish his sentence, but Harry got the gist. Don't hurt Ginny or else.

The Boy Who Lived turned and stared at his friend. 7 years they had known each other, they had practically grown up together. Harry knew when Ron was being serious, knew when he was truly mad. He watched as his best friend threatened him, and felt a strange sense of pain explode inside of himself.

For a fraction of a second Harry let himself try to imagine what his life would be like if he were to lose Ron. If he lost Hermione and the Weasley's.

But he couldn't. He couldn't imagine it. It was like his brain was saying 'No way! We are not going there.'

Deep down he knew that losing his friends would destroy him. So much so, that he couldn't even think about it. Sure, he cared a lot for Draco, but would he really be devastated if they no longer had contact, no longer cared for one another. He hadn't _known_ Draco for very long, hadn't forged a bond like he had with Ron. If he had to choose, which he felt he needed to, he'd choose his best friend, the guy that was like a brother to him. He'd have to choose Ron.

And when he really thought about it…he realised he never actually had a choice in the first place, because even though his heart _wanted_ Draco, it _needed_ his friends, his 'family'.

And right then and there Harry knew his decision was made. Had been made for him all along,

"I know what's at stake Ron." He whispered. "I won't let you down." _I'll just let myself down instead._

Ron was silent for a moment, his eyes locked on Harry's face as though he were looking for a contradiction to his words in his expression. The Boy Who Lived kept his face blank, empty. And that was exactly how he felt inside…Empty.

A relieved smile slowly spread across the redhead's face, and he rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Careful Harry, you're on the verge of sounding like a nancy boy." He laughed, as he made his way over to Harry and punched his arm playfully.

It was still like a kick in the stomach when he heard Ron speak like that, but he ignored it. He'd have to start being good at ignoring things, after all.

Breathing a forced chuckle, Harry made a show of rolling his eyes and shaking his head. " Yeah, I'd better watch that, huh?" He replied. It was more of a statement to himself than to Ron's comment.

"Definitely. I wouldn't want to have to disown you, Harry. I like having first dibs on your Firebolt too much, to have to give that up." The redhead laughed.

At that point there was a knock at the door and Harry, who was completely stunned by Ron's blatant honesty, quickly turned to open it, using the opportunity to compose his face. Ron really knew how to wind a guy.

"Hey, Harry." Seamus smiled softly, as the door opened. His face became slightly wary as he took in Harry's expression and Ron standing behind him. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah. I was just laying down the law…you know how it is." Ron replied arrogantly.

Harry's eyes closed wearily and when he opened them he found Seamus looking at him sympathetically.

"Hey, Ron…er… did you know that Hermione's eating all of you Fizzing Whizbees?" The Irish boy said casually, obviously knowing that this was the quickest way to get Ron out of the room.

As if on cue, Ron's face dropped and he raced out and down the hall, leaving a smirking Seamus in his wake.

Harry turned and made his way over to his bed, promptly throwing himself face first down on to it. He had a sudden urge to cry.

"You O.K?" Seamus asked softly, his voice floating from somewhere on Harry's right.

He clamped his eyes shut, wishing the other boy would leave him alone. He really didn't want to do this now. He didn't want to do it ever. He just wanted to forget it all.

"Harry, look, I thought-" The Irish boy began, only to be cut off.

"Seamus, I don't care what you think you know, alright?! Just drop it, and leave me alone." Harry murmured.

"He's awake." Seamus breathed. He was so quiet that Harry almost didn't hear him. Almost.

Pushing his face away from the pillow, The Boy Who Lived flipped over, and fixed his gaze on Seamus. And suddenly he was wrapped up in Draco again. It was like now Ron was out of sight, his entire argument for not being with Draco made no sense. Those two words cleansed Harry of all the negative emotions and thoughts he had experienced, and now his entire being was centred on the Slytherin.

Harry almost felt as though he had whiplash from the u-turn his feeling had taken. One minute he was terrified of being disowned, and the next he thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad. If he got to see Draco, to touch him, hold him then all would be okay. Nothing else would matter.

He knew this feeling wouldn't last long, that the fear would once again rear it's ugly head. In fact he could already feel it, like drops of poison being added to his bloodstream.

The Irish boy, seemingly oblivious to Harry's internal battle, continued. Apparently he didn't feel the need to have Harry confirm that he knew who he was talking about.

"He's alright, apparently it was a stress thing so…nothing to worry about." Seamus informed, his voice trailing off.

Harry stared at him in amazement. "How do you…?" He asked. The words broke as he said them, but relief was still washing over him like a gentle breeze. Draco was awake.

Then another drop of poison entered his bloodstream, another stab of fear. He was awake. He'd have to face the situation.

Seamus smiled, and Harry was momentarily taken aback by the sparkle in his eyes. "Pansy." The Irish boy said simply.

_Oh, that's right. Seamus and Pansy had a…thing_. Harry had completely forgotten that, in amongst the commotion that had taken place, he had discovered that the Irish boy and Slytherin girl were skating on the lines of romance…like he and Draco had been.

Had been. He was already thinking of their relationship in the past tense. It stung to think that he was already resigned to the fact that they were over. Finite. Caput.

"She was pretty pissed at me, mind." Seamus laughed, an affectionate smile on his face. "Ya know, 'cause of what happened at The Three Broomsticks…wanted to know why I was so eager to know about Malfoy's condition."

Harry opened his mouth in horror. _Oh, no. Please tell me he didn't tell her!!!_

"Don't worry. _I_ didn't tell her." The Irish boy said, and he shifted uncomfortably, pushing himself away from Harry's bed and moving to sit down on his own.

Seamus's tone caught Harry's attention. He didn't tell Pansy. _He_ didn't tell Pansy.

"Who did?" He whispered, his blood turning to ice inside his veins. He realised he was admitting that there _was_ something to tell, but he knew denying it would be useless. Seamus knew. There was nothing that could change that now.

"Malfoy." Seamus breathed, scrutinizing The Boy Who Lived's face. "Pansy was in the Hospital wing when Malfoy was brought in. Apparently, the moment his eyes fluttered open he asked for you."

Oh, the guilt. It was indescribable. Harry was sure he felt his heart fracture.

"Mate, Snape left the hospital wing before Pansy. Put on your _secret_ cloak and get your arse down there, but…" Seamus's smile melted away, and his eyebrows pulled together in an anxious frown. "…when you get back, this thing with Ginny; You need to sort it out, and fast. If not, you will lose them both."

Harry received an unexpected rush of affection for his Irish dorm mate, and found himself jumping to his feet and hugging the boy. Awkwardly yes. But, still, it was a hug.

"Thanks Seamus. And, I'm sorry…about today.." He mumbled, pulling away sheepishly. He stumbled over to his trunk and began searching for his cloak, vaguely wondering how the other boy knew about it.

"Forget it. I thought you'd be that way, but I wanted you to know that you don't have to deal with it all alone…"

"There's nothing to deal with. Draco and I…we just had an understanding. That's over now. I'm with Ginny. I've… " Harry said in a rush.

"Oh…right. So, why are you in such a hurry to go and see _Draco?" _Seamus enquired, one of his eyebrows raised.

They both jumped as the dorm door flew open.

"I didn't even have any Fizzing Whizbees! Thanks to you, I just got the third degree about sharing when there wasn't even anything to share!" Ron said incredulously, as he barged back into the room. "Anyway, I wanna play chess. Harry?"

Harry glanced between the red head and the Irish boy, and not for the first time, wondered why he had chosen the youngest Weasley boy to be his best friend. He was brash and crass, and completely inconsiderate. He was supposed to be the one person who knew Harry better than anyone else, and yet he couldn't even tell when he was interrupting a conversation.

"I'll play chess with you Ron, and you can lay down like you wanted Harry." Seamus said, glancing meaningfully at The Boy Who Lived. Instantly grasping at his alibi, Harry nodded and then yawned theatrically.

"Yeah, tell Ginny for me" He replied to Seamus, and received a subtle frown in return.

"Sure" The Irish boy nodded.

"What!" Ron exclaimed incredulously. "It's only 5pm!" He frowned, obviously finding it ridiculous that someone would choose to go to bed at 5pm on a Saturday night.

"Yeah, I'm really tired. Think I'm getting a headache." Harry said, heaving another fake yawn.

Just as Ron was about to go into a rant about being young and having fun, Seamus, once again, rescued him.

"Oh come on Ron, leave him be. Besides, Harry is rubbish at chess, at least you'll have a challenge with me" The Irish boy smirked.

Ron, ever the predictable one, took Seamus up on his offer and practically dragged him down to the common room with the promise of 'Kicking his arse'.

A few minutes later, after drawing his hangings around his bed and waiting for an opportunity to leave the tower unnoticed, Harry found himself outside the Infirmary. He crept inside, conscious of the thumping of his heart, which seemed to realise that it was close to Draco again, and so tried to pull him forward.

Apparently his heart disagreed with his head because it was refusing to pay any attention to the decision he had made earlier. It still called out for the Slytherin, still yearned to be near him; threatening to fall apart if he didn't comply.

His mind was set though, his head was strong. He would make sure the other boy was okay, and then he would leave. Leave the Infirmary, the Slytherin…the relationship. For good.

All of these thoughts slipped away as soon as he caught sight of the Slytherin.

Draco was sat up in the furthest bed from the entrance, in the far left hand corner of the Infirmary. Harry wouldn't have noticed him if he hadn't known who to look for. The Slytherin's skin was so pale it blended with the crisp linen sheets on the beds. The only thing that stood out was the shock of black hair that Draco now sported.

The Slytherin's eyes flashed to the doors as they opened , a wary guarded expression on his face. His chest began to heave as his breathing became shallow and he swallowed hard.

His eyes suddenly squeezed shut and flew open again, as though he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him.

Harry moved closer, still concealed under his cloak, hoping that maybe if he could just look at him for while, be in his presence, that it would make it easier when he had to leave.

As he approached the Slytherin, Harry noticed that Draco's hands were trembling slightly. He was still staring straight through Harry, his wide eyes fixed on the door. Waiting.

"It's not real." The Slytherin whispered to himself. "No-one's there. It's all in your head."

Harry frowned. Concern and sympathy washed over him as he took in how frightened the other boy was.

Realizing it was him that was causing the other boy's distress, Harry pulled the cloak off, revealing himself.

Draco jumped and threw his arms up in front of him to shield himself. His face was, if possible, even paler than before and now even had a tinge of green to it.

"Harry!" He gasped, sliding his hand over his face and placing the other where he heart was. "You do realise that's not funny!"

"Sorry." Harry whispered, fiddling with the invisibility cloak in his hands. "I didn't mean to scare you…"

Draco slid his hand over his face and through his hair, gripping it at the back. He turned his head to the side slightly and gazed at Harry, a subtle half smile on his face, an odd glint to his eyes.

"It wasn't you…I've just…had a long day." He sighed. His eyes scanned Harry's face as though he were trying to memorize it, drink in as much of it as he could. "You're really here." He breathed.

Harry frowned, ignoring Draco's relieved whisper and concentrated on the first thing he had said. Yes. He had had a long day hadn't he?! The Gryffindor knew he had no right to be annoyed at Draco, especially after the whole Ginny debacle, but he couldn't help it. He was still pissed that he had been left out of the loop. And that's when Harry saw it. His escape clause, his get out of jail free card.

"Yeah, you've the momentous day?!" He mumbled coldly. Spite seemed to be bubbling away under his skin, irrational irritation for the boy before him threatened to spill over.

Draco lifted his head, raising his chin a little at Harry's tone. The Gryffindor didn't care though. He recognised his opportunity and grasped it with both hands.

He'd make Draco do it. He'd make Draco end it.

"You're mad at me." The Slytherin stated softly, his eyes narrowing slightly in a guilty frown. Guilt. That was good. He could play on guilt.

"_You_ scared the shit out ofme. Didn't it occur to you that _I'd_ worry, that _I'd_ spend the whole bloody day worrying about _you_?" Harry spat. His hands balled into fists at his sides, in a desperate attempt to stop himself reaching for the other boy. He had to focus. He had execute this correctly.

The Slytherin gazed at Harry in disbelief. For a few seconds there was absolute silence, Draco remained staring at The Boy Who Lived, but his face slowly became harder. Harry noted with bittersweet triumph the exact moment Draco's neglected façade fell seamlessly into place. Like it had never been gone.

"Well, that was very…insightful. I'm sorry you've had such a difficult day, Harry. How ever did you make it through?" The Slytherin whispered, his tone flat, unfeeling. Cold.

Harry suppressed a flinch at the other boys remark. This was what he had wanted, what he had hoped would happen. Draco was taking the bait, rising to the argument that was creeping up on them. Still, it didn't stop it hurting.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry demanded, his finger pointing accusingly at the Slytherin.

Draco raised one of his perfect eyebrows defiantly. "Because, it was none of your business." He sneered, however it lacked any malice. He sounded more hurt than anything.

"None of my business?" Harry spat. "_None of my business_?"

"Yes, that's right. Unlike you, oh great Chosen One, I don't broadcast my every move in The Prophet." Draco sneered again, this time achieving venom in his voice. His back had stiffened, his chest puffing out proudly.

"Pft, back to the 'Chosen One' then?" Harry laughed humourlessly. He was surprised at how easy this all was, how easy it was to turn Draco against him. He felt a sickening twist to his stomach as he recalled the last words Draco had said before he had passed out earlier. "Funny how earlier you were telling me you loved me. What a joke!"

Draco's façade disappeared as his face crumpled, and Harry wished instantly that he could take it back. Why did he say that? Why was he throwing that at the other boy? Suddenly a crack appeared in Harry's composure.

"I'm sorry, that was out of order-" He began, only to be cut off by the seething Slytherin.

"I was delusional, my mind was unstable. I would've said that to Weasley had he been in front of me-" Draco cringed, clearly thinking he would never have told Ron he loved him. Even if he was on fire and Ron had a spare bucket of water in his hands.

Draco pulled himself off the bed and stood, more steadily than Harry would've expected, in front of him. His body language screamed attack, and Harry warily maintained his position. He wasn't going to back away. _Absolutely not_. "- Don't go thinking you're so special Harry, because you're not."

He hadn't wanted Draco to take it back…had he? He was so confused, so conflicted. He knew that breaking things off with Draco was for the best, was the right thing to do, but now that he was doing it…it felt wrong. And for a single second he forgot why he was doing this, why he was wrecking his happiness and spoke before he thought.

"You don't mean that." Harry whispered. Even though he was in the process of pushing the other boy away, he didn't want the Slytherin's last statement to be true. He found himself desperately wanting the other boy's love.

"Ha, don't I? Tell me Harry, how did you manage to escape the Weaslette? I thought she had permanently implanted her claws into you." Draco hissed. "Shouldn't you be celebrating?"

Harry couldn't stop the flinch this time, and Draco noticed it. The satisfied smirk on his face was testament to it.

"Don't. You don't know what you're talking about." Harry breathed, closing his eyes. It was hurting too much, hearing Draco speak like this to him after all these weeks of friendship. The malice in his voice and words was like a knife twisting in Harry's stomach. But he had to finish what he started. It had to end, he couldn't change his mind now…he'd gone too far.

"You told me you were no longer with the Weaslette!" Draco accused, staring into Harry's, now open, emerald eyes with a strange desperation, perhaps sensing the Gryffindor's conflict, his uncertainty. Draco's hands, that hung limply at his sides, twitched as though to reach out and touch him. However, he didn't move, didn't attempt to make contact with The Boy Who Lived.

"Things change." Harry whispered, his eyes closing again. The guilt was eating away at him now, creating a hole in his chest that was getting bigger and bigger. Consuming him.

"Evidently. Swiftly too." Draco murmured. "Tell me Harry, was it just a coincidence…or did you choose the day of my Mothers _fucking_ funeral to SCREW ME OVER?" He yelled in the Gryffindor's face.

Harry, squeezing his eyes more firmly closed, stumbled back a step at the force of Draco's accusation bumping into the bed behind him. Draco's words echoed around his head as shame kicked him in the stomach.

"I didn't know. You didn't tell me!" He threw back, opening his eyes to witness the other boy's reaction. He watched as Draco's eyes widened with rage.

"Liar. You're a _liar!_ Big mouth Granger knew. So, you knew. Just spit it out, you don't actually give a damn about me! Admit it whilst I still have a shred of respect for you!" Draco growled, stepping forward so he and Harry were inches apart, effectively trapping Harry between himself and the bed behind him.

Here it was, the final blow.

"O.K! I don't give a damn about you. I never have. I'm in love with Ginny…not you!" Harry said clearly with as much conviction as he could muster.

Draco turned his head away, clamping his eyes shut and murmuring the word 'Paris', before facing Harry again. The agony on his face was painful to see, and Harry bit his lip to stop himself from taking the lie back.

Draco laughed humourlessly as he gazed into Harry's wary eyes. "O.K then… Now we're being honest." The Slytherin closed his eyes again and swallowed, and Harry wished he could pull the other boy into his arms and hold him. Obviously he couldn't. His plan was working. They were…breaking up.

"Why?" The Slytherin whispered, his eyes opening and focusing on the boy before him.

"It's for the best. Ginny's…normal." Harry shrugged. And that was all he wanted…to be accepted. To be normal.

"_Normal_?" Draco echoed in a strained voice. "As apposed to…?"

"Look Draco, it was never going to work, was it? It's not worth it, we have too much to lose." Harry pleaded. He tried reaching out to touch Draco's arm but the other boy flinched away, as though Harry were diseased.

"You mean _I'm _not worth it?" Draco murmured, his face stiff, his wide eyes becoming shiny. "It's_ you_ that has too much to lose… I've already lost everything... Now, get the hell out of my face." He whispered, a single tear trailing down his frozen cheek.

Harry closed his eyes, shame once again kicking him in the stomach. He looked back up to the other boy, his mouth opening to say something, anything to change what had just happened. But Draco's face was closed off, he stared just passed Harry's left ear, waiting for him to leave.

So he did.

Edging his way out from between Draco and the bed, Harry made his way over to the door, his heart breaking with each step. He desperately wanted to turn around, to run back to the Slytherin and beg for forgiveness.

When he spoke for the final time, delivering the blow that was like a knife slamming into Harry's heart, Draco's voice was so clear and saturated in pain, that the Gryffindor was willing to bet his entire Gringotts account that the other boy was trying not to sob. Even though he spoke quietly, the words hit Harry with the force of a yell, and he knew that they would torment him for a long time to come.

That night as Harry lay in his bed staring at his canopy, Draco's dead voice still echoed in his head, and he finally let himself cry as he played it over and over again until sleep finally claimed him.

His dreams became filled with the Slytherin's broken face, and the soft murmuring of "My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late! Prodigious birth of love it is to me, That I must love a loathed enemy."

To Be Continued….

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*Tries best to look innocent* Again, I'm so sorry. Breaking them up was rather mean of me wasn't it…

The last quote is from Romeo and Juliet (obviously) Act 1, scene 5.

The title 'The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head' is from Act 5, scene 3.

_A glooming peace this morning with it brings; The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head: Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things; Some shall be pardon'd, and some punish-ed: For never was a story of more woe Than this of Juliet and her Romeo_.


	13. France?

I own nothing.

A/N: Hey guys! Chapter 13 - Ta-da! I apologize for the delay. I'm sure you have all read the author's note I posted which explained why it's taken me so long to complete, and hopefully no one is too mad at me. I just want to say thank you to the people who left me the lovely comments concerning my personal problems. Knowing that the story still had your support even though I was taken my sweet time with it was a relief. Big love.

O.K, this chapter is awful, I'm the first to admit. A particular review I received for C.I.B.M totally kicked me whilst I was down, and I very nearly gave up. (I'm not very good with negative feedback lol) It's amazing that I've had around 150 reviews for this and C.I.B.M combined and like 147 have been positive, yet the ones that effect me the post are the negative. Grrr, damn me and my lack of self confidence.

Anyway, my beta is still M.I.A, so this hasn't been read through by anyone other than me, so I apologize for errors and crapiness.

_**Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed, Big love. P.S, Meghan, are you still alive? Lol.**_

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Chapter 13 - ...France???

**Harry**

"Care of Magical Creatures first thing on a Monday! It's December! Are the trying to make us all die of hypothermia?" Ron moaned to the table. "I want to go back to bed"

Harry turned slightly in his seat and peered around Ginny to her older brother who was currently falling asleep against his empty plate, and nodded his head to Ron's comment. He wanted to go back to bed, too.

The Gryffindor table was the last place Harry wanted to be, however, he had no choice. It had been like this for the past 2 weeks now, avoiding anything or anywhere that Draco may be and failing miserably.

He had managed to fool his friends with a false upbeat attitude, but as soon as the Slytherin was in the vicinity it was like his personality would change. He'd be smiling and animated one moment, and then the next he'd be clutching his stomach and biting his lip in an attempt to stop himself from vomiting.

Harry's body didn't like the new rule. It didn't like that it had to ignore Draco. His eyes would try and trick him into glancing at the other boy. His heart would speed up of it's own accord when it heard the other boy's voice. His stomach would clench painfully when he smelled the Slytherin's aftershave.

Harry didn't like the new rule either. He didn't like that he had no interaction with Draco, now. He had no right to wonder how he was feeling, or if he was alright.

The day after Harry had left Draco in the hospital wing had been pure torture. Breakfast was supposed to get you ready for the day, that morning, however, Harry had wanted to go back to bed and not get back up again.

Ginny had flounced into his dorm and dragged him down to the Great Hall with all the enthusiasm of a golden retriever. Harry had complied, naturally. He'd switched himself off when Ginny kissed him and prattled on about how glad she was that they were back together.

A continuing mantra of 'Normal' played over and over inside Harry's brain in an attempt to stop himself from pushing his girlfriend away and running in the opposite direction. He had told himself that, now he had wrecked things so severely with Draco, that he was going to make a complete and utter go of it with Ginny. He made a promise to himself that his sacrifice was going to be worth it.

That said, however, he was struggling. It was almost unbearable making it through each day when he had to force himself to completely ignore Draco. Harry quickly found that he couldn't cope with the separation and found alternative ways of helping himself through.

So, he had begun allowing himself one cursory glance at the Slytherin every meal time. He knew he was doing himself no good by doing this, however, he found that underneath the pain that exploded in his stomach when his eyes landed on Draco, a certain amount of relief came, too.

So, one glance at meal times had become his coping mechanism. As had writing music.

Harry had thrown himself into writing and found that it was pretty effective…up until a point. He had decided that if could no longer be true to his feeling for the other boy, then he would have to express them through other avenues. So far it was working. He just hoped that it would continue to do so.

So, back to breakfast.

Now, Harry hadn't expected that first morning to be easy, quite the contrary, he expected it to be as hard as it was. He hadn't been prepared for what had happened though.

The Boy Who Lived had tried his best to eat. Unfortunately his stomach felt as though it had been shredded. He had spent a majority of the previous night crying and was now paying for it, somehow managing to pass off his red puffy eyes as hay fever. He figured his friends were pretty dumb for falling for it considering it was the beginning of December.

He'd slumped over the table and tried to ignore the people around him, which wasn't easy when Ginny, who had unceremoniously shoved Ron out of his seat beside Harry so she could sit there, had found it necessary to talk a mile a minute in his ear about all the things he had missed out on during their separation. She had also kept one hand planted on his right thigh at all times, something that Harry had tried to enjoy rather than cringe at.

He had tried to prepare himself for the moment that Draco would arrive. The Gryffindor had never found it easy to ignore the other boy, even when they were true enemies. So, now was going to be near impossible. He'd hoped that maybe the other boy wouldn't show up, that maybe he would have needed to stay in the hospital wing. Harry had cringed when he'd realised that he didn't even know why Draco was in the hospital wing in the first place, and then begun worrying that the other boy might be seriously ill. Seamus had said it was a stress thing that had caused the other boy to pass out, but was that true? After all, Seamus wasn't exactly Draco's friend - he wasn't going to be privy to any details, was he.

So, worry and shame had kicked in, and Harry decided that he wanted the other boy to show up for breakfast, so he could see for himself that the Slytherin was alright. That was all.

Déjà vu washed over him as he remembered the last time he had sat at breakfast waiting for Draco to make an appearance from the hospital wing. His heart sagged a little, knowing that he wouldn't have the same sweet exchange as they had shared that day. There would be no mocking smiles or teasing kisses blown across the hall.

Instead Draco would be cold. He would just breeze in to the hall and pretend that Harry didn't exist. The Gryffindor had known this, had seen it clearly in his minds eye, and his heart had sagged a little more.

The look on Draco's face the night before had burst across Harry's vision and he'd closed his eyes, swallowing the lump that appeared in his throat.

Vomiting at the breakfast table would've surely drawn attention to him.

Taking a deep breath the Gryffindor had opened his eyes, and exhaled with a loud whoosh. He'd realised his error a second too late, because he refocused on the room just as Draco had entered. In all his blonde haired glory.

Wait…Blonde?

Harry had felt his mouth drop open as he'd gazed at the other boy. He'd had no need to worry about looking out of place because every eye in the hall was on Draco at that moment.

The Slytherin's face had been a mask of ice, showing no emotion as he had taken his seat between Pansy and Blaise, casually brushing away some of the white blonde strands that had fallen into his eyes.

Harry's wide eyes had snapped back to his breakfast and he'd tried to push the image of the Slytherin out of his mind.

Why had he changed his hair colour again? The Slytherin had said the reason he changed it in the first place was because he wanted to be less like his father…what, had that changed now? Was this him showing the world, showing Harry, that he was converting back to being the old Malfoy?

The Gryffindor had shuddered. Had Harry really hurt the other boy that much?

Harry had taken a deep breath and steeled himself as he looked up to focus on the other boy again. He hadn't anticipated meeting Draco's steely gaze, and shock had caused him to hold the eye contact. The Slytherin's stare had been cold, but Harry hadn't been able to pull his eyes away from the other boy. He could feel the confusion and bewilderment plastered across his face, and try as he did he just couldn't rearrange his expression.

He'd waited for one slip in the Slytherin's composure, one crack in his façade that would show a hint of how he was feeling inside, but he'd showed nothing. His face had remained cold and unemotional.

After a few charged seconds, Draco had looked away and proceeded to keep his eyes trained on his own table for the duration of breakfast. And that's how it had continued over the days and weeks that had followed.

Harry had began to worry, due to Draco's refusal to acknowledge him, that maybe he had imagined their whole relationship. He had managed to ease his fears when he had searched his trunk and came up with his copy of the two way books he shared with Draco in the beginning of their friendship.

Harry had taken to carrying it around inside his school robe, desperate to keep a part of Draco close to him, even when he was supposed to be pushing thoughts and feelings for the boy as far away as possible.

The Gryffindor had considered writing in it, hoping that Draco would reply, but he didn't take the chance. He knew that writing to Draco wouldn't make things better, in fact it was likely to make things worse, but that wasn't the reason he didn't attempt it. No, the truth was Harry was afraid his message would go by unanswered, ignored, just like Draco had been doing to Harry in person. He already felt as though the Slytherin was fine with their situation, completely at ease with no longer being around Harry, uncaring. Harry didn't want that confirmed.

Anyway, he was supposed to be concentrating on Ginny. His girlfriend.

Harry was amazed that the red head hadn't noticed how strained things were between them, well, for Harry at least. Every second spent in her company - kissing her, studying with her, eating lunch with her - was all a complete struggle for The Boy Who Lived. The first few days had been torture. Harry had to pretend he was the happy, excited, loved up counterpart to Ginny as she bounced around ecstatically announcing their reunion, when deep down he was nursing an aching heart. He refused to think of it as broken.

Every touch, every look had to be exactly right. He had to play his part properly. He had promised Ron that he wouldn't hurt Ginny again, and there was no way he could go back on that now. He'd be damned if he was going to let his own selfish feelings get in the way of that.

Ginny had to be treated right.

Harry made a point of touching her as often as possible in an attempt to desensitize himself against the cringe that always presented itself during the contact. He told her he loved her, over and over. He hoped that maybe if he said it enough it would start to become true. Of course, Harry did love her, how could he not? She was his best friend's little sister, had been his own friend for 6 years. He loved her - just not in the right ways. But it was early days and he was sure that if he persisted, he'd get the right feelings in the end. He was depending on it.

Life wasn't made any easier when Harry and Draco had been paired up in Care of Magical Creatures. Apparently Hagrid had decided that Harry was more equipped to handle himself when Draco would become nasty, unlike poor Hermione, and had told them to work together for the unforeseeable future.

So, now, Harry had to stand beside the object of his heartache (not heartbreak) for 3 lessons a week. 3 hours a week. It may not seem a lot in theory, but in practice it felt like an eternity.

The first lesson was one of the most nerve wracking experiences of Harry's life - And he had stood up against Voldemort more times than he could count. But that was nothing compared to standing next to Draco Malfoy on the Monday morning after they had parted ways.

Harry's heart had beat so wildly that he was afraid he was going into cardiac arrest. He had been sure that the Slytherin could hear it, that the entire class could hear it.

He wanted so badly to talk to the other boy, to apologize, to try and explain why he had done what he did, but he couldn't bring himself to speak the words. He couldn't stand the thought that he'd be brushed off, because that's exactly what would happen - Draco would tell him he didn't care, and to go to hell. After all, like he had said in the Hospital Wing - Harry wasn't that special.

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry had searched the Slytherin for a flaw, anything that would indicate the Slytherin was having a hard time. He'd found nothing. Draco had been perfectly groomed and perfectly composed, and Harry's heart sank a little as he'd remembered his own reflection in the mirror that morning. Half dead.

They didn't utter a single word to one another for the entirety of the hour, an agreement they had silently come to, and when Harry had left with Ron and Hermione, the inside of his bottom lip bled where he had bitten it to stop himself from talking to the Slytherin.

2 weeks later, and Harry's lip still hadn't healed.

"Come on then, the quicker we get there, the quicker it'll be over." Hermione's chirpy voice announced to the table, and Harry groaned at the prospect of spending yet another electrically charged hour biting the inside of his mouth.

"Hermione, it's not like a trip to the dentist. We are going to be stuck…_stuck_ out in the cold listening to Hagrid ramble on about the properties of unicorn crap for a solid hour!" Ron grumbled as the trio began gathering their things ready to vacate the table.

Ginny leaned over, and smiling sweetly she kissed Harry. Refusing to cave into the churning of his stomach, Harry kissed her back, trying his best to forget the fact that Draco was probably still in the room.

"Oh, come on, Harry. Just because you guys are dating, it doesn't mean I want to see you making out with my sister." Ron huffed as he grabbed a fist full of Harry's robes and dragged him away from Ginny. Harry silently thanked his best friend as he waved to his pouting girlfriend, and turned to head out of the doors.

He caught sight of Draco and Blaise exiting the Great Hall, and he frowned when he saw them laughing. Blaise was distinctly smirking in Harry's direction, and the Gryffindor watched as Draco ran his hand through his hair and lifted one of eyebrows suggestively toward his friend. Was he…was Draco flirting?! With Zabini?! Were they laughing at him? Had Draco said something?

Harry spent the journey to Care of Magical Creatures obsessing over why Draco had been laughing, and he quickly realised that he was being arrogant again and ever so slightly jealous. Draco was allowed to laugh and flirt with who ever he wanted, his world didn't revolve around Harry. He probably wasn't even thinking about him. Why would he when Harry had turned his back on him?

**Draco**

Draco's back was as stiff as a board as he sat at the Slytherin table. He was rigidly still, with the only movement coming from his leg that kept twitching nervously at random intervals. He had never been wound so tight in his whole life.

His face was composed into his Malfoy façade, which over the past fortnight or so he had once again perfected, and it showed no signs of the exhaustion he was suffering or the battlefield his emotions had become. He was thankful that he had such a mask, knowing that he wouldn't have a hope of hiding his current state without it.

The medication Professor Snape and Madam Pomfrey had been giving for his stress disorder had helped him deal with some of the depression that had followed his memory retrieval, however, it had odd side effects like twitching and he was anxious _all_ the time. The whole Harry episode didn't help either.

One plus side of it though, was that his dreams had left the realm of nightmares. The Slytherin was dreaming of the Gryffindor on a rather frequent basis, and even though they were generally memories of their time together, they always ended the same. Paris, or Draco, always fell.

Draco had come to deeply sympathise with Paris, the unfortunate loser in love from Romeo and Juliet. Before, he'd always thought of him as a bit of an idiot who, try as he might, would never be good enough for Juliet. The Slytherin had found it annoying that Paris continued to pursue Juliet even though she showed no interest, even though she loved someone else. Now, however, Draco had far more understanding for Paris' plight than he ever thought possible. Knowing he himself was a 'Paris' made his stomach hurt and his heart ache.

Life certainly was a bitch sometimes.

The Gryffindor table had become something of an obsession for Draco. The funny thing was that Pansy and Blaise had begun to follow his lead. Draco was touched when he realised they had started keeping tabs on The Boy Who Lived, and they would often whisper to him that Harry was looking toward their table, or that Weaslette was touching him. Apparently, after realising that Draco's hostility and ignorance toward them in the previous weeks had been a symptom of his stress disorder, they had decided that they would do whatever it took to stay on his good side and to help him through his current dilemma. The thing that surprised him the most though was that Blaise seemed completely at ease with the fact that Draco was in love with Harry Potter. Odd.

"Boy wonder is coming in, don't look." Blaise murmured out of the corner of his mouth, from his seat beside Draco. He hated it when his friends said 'Don't look' because his head always snapped up in defiance and got him caught out. Lucky for him though Harry wasn't looking in his direction.

A thrill of excitement ran through him as the Gryffindor's familiar form sloped into the hall, surrounded by his friends and the Weaslette. Draco resisted the urge to spit when he saw the disgusting little red head clinging to The Boy Who Lived. He wanted nothing more than to rip her away from the Gryffindor and drowned her in the lake. However, he resisted that urge, too.

"So, have you done your History of Magic homework, Draco?" Blaise's voice tried to distract him. This was a familiar routine now. Pansy and Blaise, his personal lookouts, would try and keep Draco's attention diverted from Harry and the Gryffindor table whilst giving him updates on what was happening over there. It was rule one of appearing aloof - Look as though you aren't interested. They never fully succeeded though. How could they ever hope to take his mind off Harry? Harry was all he could ever think of, and his eyes always swept straight back to his table. He'd yet to be caught out though, and he thanked his Slytherin traits for that. Being sly certainly had it's advantages.

The Gryffindor entourage made it to the middle of their table, and Harry sat in his usual seat, facing Draco. The first morning they had been in the great hall after they had parted ways, the Slytherin had feared the other boy might change his position, might face away from him. However, Harry maintained his usual routine, he carried on facing him, but, since that first morning, never looked at him.

Draco wasn't sure what was worse - The thought of Harry trying to block him out by keeping him out of sight, or Harry finding it so easy to just simply ignore him. The Slytherin realised he didn't want to find out. He preferred to think that the Gryffindor was finding it all just as difficult as Draco was, and that maybe he was sneaking glances at Draco when he wasn't looking. It could happen.

A large part of Draco was still furious at The Boy Who lived, though. It had been 2 weeks since they had parted ways, and yet the anger and disappointment still bubbled away inside of him.

The sight of Ginny Weasley literally made his blood boil, and even though he knew it wasn't actually her fault, he couldn't help but blame her. He really and truly hated her. Which annoyed him because he had never actually hated anyone before. Not even his father…though it had been a close call.

Draco had spent the last fortnight going over in his head where things between Harry and himself had gone wrong. The relationship had been going relatively well between the pair, even with Draco's memory problems, and he had been pretty confident that they were onto something special. He realised that he had hurt the Gryffindor by keeping the information concerning his mother's funeral a secret, but he had done that to try and spare him any stress. Plus it had been something that Draco felt he needed to go through alone.

Harry's relationship with the ginger menace hurt Draco more due to the fact that he was pretty certain it had been going on before the funeral. The Slytherin had talked himself into thinking that Harry had never actually broken up with the red head in the first place, and that he had broken things off with Draco because he had started feeling guilty about the whole tawdry affair.

Pansy had listened to this theory, and had instantly told him she thought he was being ridiculous.

"Draco, you are so frustratingly ridiculous sometimes. You need to stop looking at things with such tunnel vision. Just because Potter said that he doesn't love you, it doesn't actually mean that it's true. Have you ever sat back and thought that perhaps he's confused? That he's just saying that, and you being so quick to believe anything, went and did exactly what he knew you would do - Bit when he threw you a line." She had huffed as though it were completely obvious what was going on in Harry's head.

Draco had wanted to believe her, but catching sight of Harry and Ginny together later that day, practically wrapped around one another, had convinced him other wise.

Harry had said he that he didn't give a damn about Draco, So, the Slytherin took his words at face value. Harry didn't care. He never had.

Reaching that conclusion had hurt Draco more than he thought possible. He knew he loved Harry, had told the other boy that he did, but he never actually realised how deep his feelings actually ran until they were being destroyed.

Draco's mind snapped back to breakfast before he could depress himself any further.

"Yes, you know full well that I have finished my History of Magic homework because you stole it and attempted to plagiarize it, Zabini." Draco said in a bored tone. "If you are going to try and distract me at least do it with something worth being distracted for."

"I see you're in a wonderful mood today, Draco. How unusual." Pansy smiled cheerfully as she took her seat on Draco's other side. The smell of vanilla assaulted Draco's senses and he fought the urge to grimace. He wasn't so mean that he'd make Pansy think she smelled bad. Wait, yes he was.

"Pansy, must you wear that perfume? It makes me gag." He announced, curling his lip distastefully.

Pansy, however, laughed and shook her head condescendingly. "Oh, yes darling, because you have astounding taste don't you?" She smirked, her eyes drifting over to the Gryffindor table and back again.

"Touché" Draco smirked back. He had to hand it to her - Pansy was good.

"So, Care of Magical Creatures…that should be a riot." Pansy commented as she buttered a slice of toast, her eyes contradicting her happy tone of voice as she gazed sadly at Draco.

"Funny. Ha, ha." Draco replied dryly, causing Pansy to chuckle as she bit into her toast.

Care of Magical Creatures. The single most difficult 3 hours of his week. Draco was currently looking into ways of getting Hagrid fired after the oaf had randomly forced Draco and Harry to partner up in class.

Standing beside Harry and not being able to talk to or touch him was sheer hell. For all intents and purposes they were ignoring each other. To an onlooker they may as well be floating on different planets the amount they acknowledged one another. However, beneath the surface it was a very different story. Draco had never been so hyper aware of a person in his entire life. Every move, breath, sound Harry made he noticed. Draco would pray that he wouldn't get caught down wind when Harry was beside him because the smell of his aftershave made the Slytherin dizzy with longing.

"Speaking of Lessons from Hell, we should get going." Blaise announced, standing and slinging his satchel over his shoulder.

Draco sighed softly, dread washing over him as he prepared himself for an hour with Harry. Pansy, gagging, caught his attention.

"Ew, don't look, they're making out." She hissed, shoving Draco toward the doors. He couldn't help but look over, and the sight of Harry and Ginny kissing felt like a brick smashing into his heart. He watched as Ron tugged Harry off the ginger menace and drag him toward the door that Draco was nearing. He panicked. He didn't want to look at Harry post kiss, all flushed faced and happy. Blaise appeared by his side just as Harry was turning his head in Draco's direction.

"Laugh. Now." Draco hissed, and on cue he and Blaise began laughing.

"Wonder boy looking?" Blaise chuckled, patting Draco on the shoulder as though he had told the funniest joke ever.

Draco had to admire his friend's devotion. How many people could you give such a command to and they would carry it out. Blaise had done it without second thought. Draco wondered, not for the first time, why he had become so adamant that his friends had turned on him when they were obviously fiercely loyal.

"I don't know. Just pretend that I'm funny for a minute." Draco smirked, brushing away the stray hair that had fallen in to his eyes and quirking one of eyebrows in the air. "It won't take too much pretending on your part because I'm actually hilarious" He added in a monotone.

Blaise smirked, and shaking his head he subtly glanced behind them. He adjusted the shoulder strap of his bag which was the Slytherin signal for 'someone is watching' when it wasn't possible to say it out loud.

They made their way out of the school and onto the school lawns. As they approached Hagrid's Hut, Pansy caught up with them

"Where did you go?" Blaise asked in a bored tone. "We knew you had gone because Draco had stopped gagging." He added with a grin.

"Oh, always the comedian, Blaise. I saw the two of you laughing. It was the fakest thing I've ever seen." Pansy snapped, tugging her hair into a make shift knot at the back of her head.

"Wow, pink monster alert" Blaise whispered conspiratorially to Draco, earning himself a glare from the Slytherin girl. Draco rolled his eyes knowing where the conversation was going to go. Blaise never learned his lesson.

"You are so immature, Zabini." Pansy said scathingly, rolling her eyes in disgust

"And you're moody!" Blaise countered, clearly thinking that he had had the last word.

Draco shook his head waiting for Pansy to deliver the one word that was sure to turn Blaise into an awkward wreck.

"Periods!" She spat, a wide smirk sliding across her face. Draco was sure that, if she were common, she would rub her hands together in triumph.

"Pans!" Blaise yelled, a shudder ripping through him. Draco rolled his eyes. Zabini was moron sometimes.

10 minutes later found Draco back in hell. Harry seemed particularly irritable today, which lifted the Slytherin's spirit's a little. The Gryffindor appeared to be wound just as tightly as Draco was, and the Slytherin mentally sighed when he realised the other boy's sullenness was probably due to being wrenched away from his wench.

He couldn't quite describe the way he felt when Harry was nearby. He still had all the butterflies and nervousness. The other boy still took his breath away. Now, however, his heart hurt. His stomach hurt. Everything hurt - Harry made him hurt.

Harry had changed him, though. He had somehow managed to weaken him, but at the same time he had given him strength. Draco had been living in a depressive bubble for months. His mood and his life had become black, and he had adapted his life around it. He'd embraced it. He'd let it take over and for a while he had lost a little of his identity. Rebellion had been a word he had used in the past, but that wasn't it. Changing his image, dying his hair - it had all been Draco trying to find himself, when all he really needed to do in the first place was to find Harry.

His love for Harry had given him back his identity. He was no longer an extension of Lucius. He was Draco. Hair colour and all.

The lesson progressed in silence until something changed. It would be an understatement to say that Draco was surprised when Harry cleared his throat and proceeded to break their silent agreement not to speak to one another.

"What's in France?" He asked softly.

The complete randomness of the question threw Draco. He slowly turned his head feeling a puzzled expression slid onto his face, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he made eye contact with The Boy Who Lived. He was immediately drawn into Harry's gaze and found himself stuck there, swimming in the depths of crystal clear emerald. Try as he might he couldn't pull his eyes away, and to make matters worse he could feel himself begin to lean into the other boy. Harry's expression changed from mild curiosity to stunned longing in a heartbeat, and Draco instantly snapped out of it, taking a step back to put some distance between him and The Boy Who Lived.

"What?" He hissed as he focused his humiliated gaze on the pixie eggs they were supposed to be mothering. He scolded himself for looking at the other boy, and wished to every god there was that Hagrid would call the class early. No such luck.

Harry shifted uneasily beside him, obviously contemplating whether he should ask his question again. He was probably afraid that Draco would try and pounce on him if he spoke again.

His little Weasel girlfriend wouldn't be too impressed about that, would she?!

Harry repeated his question, his voice sounding more strained than it should, as though he were trying not to sound awkward when he clearly was.

Draco couldn't understand why The Boy Who lived would ask such a random question. They hadn't spoken two words to each other for 2 weeks, and now he was talking about France??

"French people?" Draco said sarcastically, this time keeping his gaze off the other boy.

Harry seemed to hesitate, before he spoke again. "Why's it so important?" He whispered.

Draco was thoroughly confused by that point. He didn't have the faintest idea what the hell Harry was talking about, and he was too afraid to turn and look at him again in case he was hypnotised again.

"Potter, you are making absolutely no sense. I think you've been in 'Weasley' contact for a little too long." He sniped. He couldn't help himself, he had to get a Weasley torment in there somehow. Silence met his statement and he figured Harry had given up his questioning. Draco felt disappointment wash over him. He wanted the other boy to talk to him, and then when he did the Slytherin let his feelings ruin it. He was more than a little surprised when he heard the Gryffindor speak again.

"I don't understand why you said it when you did." Harry muttered. He was so quiet that, if Draco hadn't been so focused on him, he might have missed it.

"I didn't say anything. You're the one who can't be understood." The Slytherin snapped again and instantly cursed himself. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut!

"You said Paris. In the Hospital Wing…you said Paris. I don't understand why, it's doing my head in." Harry said as quietly as he had before.

Draco was stunned that the other boy had even remembered him saying that, let alone actually asking what it had meant. It had been doing his head in? Did that mean that Harry had been thinking about it a lot? After all, Draco had only whispered the word, he was amazed that the other boy had even noticed it.

Harry was waiting for a response, but Draco didn't answer. He didn't know how to answer. He didn't want to think about the argument in the Infirmary - hearing Harry saying that he didn't care about him, watching him walking away, waiting for him to come back and being devastated when he didn't. His stomach clenched as he thought about the past fortnight. Crying himself to sleep at night and then having to endure watching Harry practically fornicate with the Weaslette during the day.

The ever present Paris, once again, reared his ugly head. Only this time, it was Harry mentioning him. Hearing the other boy utter the word made the pain in his heart, if possible, a little worse. It was as though he were acknowledging Draco's position. Paris - The loser.

Draco stared at the table unseeing for a long moment, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest. He hated this, hated that he was so easily wounded by the boy beside him, hated that he would willingly take more pain in exchange for spending a single second in Harry's company. He hated that he was in love, and that once again love was causing him pain.

Harry didn't push for an answer. Perhaps Draco's face betrayed his inner turmoil, and at the moment he couldn't bring himself to care whether his face was composed of not. It's not like Harry hadn't seen him in worse states.

The rest of the lesson passed by without another word, and Draco was surprised when Blaise and Pansy appeared by his side and attempted to drag him away.

"Come on, darling. Time for Transfiguration." Pansy announced, grabbing Draco's bag and shouldering it herself.

Draco glanced up at his friends and then back to Harry who was still standing at their shared table, but curiously, he was glaring at Blaise. Granger and the Weasel were standing behind Harry attempting to gain his attention, however, he stood his ground and refused to be the first to leave.

Draco brushed his hands off and subtly nodded his head to Blaise, signalling him and Pansy to start off without him. Perhaps sensing Draco's need to speak to Harry, Blaise ploughed into Ron as he was passing him and the subsequent row was likely to last long enough for Draco to say what he had spent the lesson arguing with himself not to say.

When Draco looked at Harry, he found himself being watched. Apparently The Boy Who Lived didn't care that his best friends were rowing with two Slytherin's.

Draco lifted his chin, summoning the right amount of disinterest in his voice when he spoke. He leaned in to Harry, his heart fluttering when he saw the other boy's eyes close as he neared him. The Slytherin stopped just short of Harry's ear, knowing that his breath would feather across his cheek and make him shiver in that delicious way it used to.

"Paris is a man, Harry... Me." He whispered, and his stomach clenched when the Gryffindor blew out a longing breath.

Draco took an abrupt step forward and brushed passed Harry, touching as much of him as possible whilst trying to appear as though he wasn't, and he joined Pansy and Blaise as they set off for Transfiguration, leaving a stunned and confused Harry in his wake.

To Be Continued…

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Thanks for reading. Until next time…xxx


	14. Missing The Signs

I own nothing.

A/N: Chapter 14 Ta-da!!! Chapter 14 haha, I only planned for this story to be 15 chapters long…no chance! Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed, I love you all! If I haven't replied yet, I definitely will do. This chapter actually turned out A LOT differently than I originally planned, it was meant to have far more than what it has. Unfortunately, it would have made it like a bazillion pages long, and no one would want to read for that long! I can't wait to write it, though…so excited. (Well actually it's pretty much done, I'm gonna have to add what was meant to be at the end of this to the beginning of that yadda, yadda, yadda)

Anyway, I'm prattling, so I'm offski's. Big love xxx

Warning:- Quite a bit of swearing in this chapter. I apologize, my language is absolutely atrocious, so there for…Harry and Draco's is too. Oh dear, never mind xxx

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Chapter 14 - Missing the signs.

**Harry**

Harry scowled at the back of Blaise Zabini's head with so much venom, that one might think he was actually attempting the whole 'If looks could kill' thing.

The Gryffindor had practically ran to Transfiguration with a puzzled Ron and Hermione trailing behind him, and snagged a seat right at the back of class. The seat behind Draco.

The other two thirds of the Golden Trio had frowned at The Boy Who Lived, Hermione going so far as to actually tut in annoyance.

"Harry, I'm not sitting in the back. I need to sit at the front, we can't afford to miss _anything_ with the N.E. just around the corner." She had muttered in her bossiest voice.

Harry had just shrugged, not really paying her much attention as he tried to eavesdrop on Blaise and Draco's conversation. Maddeningly, they were talking in hushed voices. How inconsiderate.

He missed Hermione's eyes travel from his face to the two Slytherin's sat in front of him, and the frown that settled on her curious face would've caused him to panic slightly, had he seen it. However, he missed both, and Hermione bit her lip in thought as she and Ron left Harry at the back of the classroom to sit alone.

Ron looked as though the new arrangement was the end of the world, and kept stealing fearful glances at Harry who, when he managed to tear his focus away from Draco, rolled his eyes in response.

Truth be told, Harry was quite happy with the turn of events. Sitting alone gave him the opportunity to spy on Draco without being caught out. Luck, however, wasn't completely on his side because Seamus plonked down beside him a few minutes later, declaring that he and Dean had had a fight, and he had nowhere else to sit.

"Hey, Harry." The Irish boy had breathed in an exasperated tone.

Pansy, who was sat on Draco's other side, turned her head slightly to the right as though she were turning to speak to Draco. Harry noticed though, how her eyes strayed passed the blonde in the direction of Seamus. A small, almost undetectable, smile pulled at her lips and an odd sparkle appeared in her chocolate brown eyes. Harry was amazed at the difference it made to her face. All he had ever seen from the Slytherin girl were ugly smirks and scowls, and yet here she was smiling at the Gryffindor beside him, looking positively pretty. An unintentional smile quirked at Harry's own mouth, and he was surprised to find that he was pleased for Pansy and Seamus. He turned his head and glanced at the Irish boy beside him, and found that he too was smiling. It was like her happiness was infectious.

A few seconds later, however, and Harry thought he might have imagined the whole thing, because Pansy was whispering harshly to Draco, and Seamus was once again looking surly.

"You O.K?" Harry asked quietly, keeping his left ear inclined toward the Slytherin's in front of him in the hope that he'd catch any of their conversation.

"Yeah. No offence mate but I'd rather be sat somewhere else." He muttered miserably, and Harry watched as the other boy's eyes flickered from Pansy to Dean, and back to Pansy again. There was so much longing in Seamus's hazel gaze that Harry was momentarily taken aback. His own eyes travelled to the back of Draco's blonde head, and a wrench tightened around Harry's heart.

He could completely agree with Seamus. He wanted nothing more than to swap seats with Pansy, to speak with Draco and find out what he had meant back in Care of Magical Creatures.

The Boy Who Lived shook his head at his own vacillation. He had just had an entire hour to speak to Draco and had practically let it pass by. Now that he had no chance of uttering a word to him, Harry wanted to metaphorically chew the Slytherin's ear off.

A small sigh escaped Harry's lips and he disguised it as a hum of agreement. Instantly he felt Seamus's eyes on his face, and clearing his throat slightly, Harry turned and glanced at the other Gryffindor.

Seamus's eyebrows were pulled together in a sympathetic frown as he studied Harry's face. "Yeah, I expect you feel the same. How's…_things_?"

Harry shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant and failing miserably "Fine." He muttered noncommittally, his attention planted firmly back on Draco and Blaise, who had their heads close together as though in deep conversation. Harry wanted nothing more than to grab the back of Zabini's head and slam his face against the table. A tight ball of jealousy was festering away inside of Harry's stomach, and as much as he tried to suppress it, it just wouldn't go away.

"Everything O.K with Ginny?" Seamus' voice floated back into Harry's consciousness, and he turned to the Irish boy, missing Draco stiffen at the mention of Ginny.

Shrugging, once again, in a noncommittal fashion, Harry turned back to face the Slytherin's in front of them, and found himself staring into the murky green eyes of Blaise Zabini. The Slytherin was smirking in the most infuriating way, and after raising his eyebrows reproachfully, he turned back towards the front of class, once again leaning his head into Draco's.

Harry felt his lip curl, and the ball of jealousy in his stomach mutated into indignation. His palms began to sweat as he clenched them tight, but he knew that if he released them for even a second he would bestow Zabini with the pummelling of a lifetime.

"I'm going to punch him in a minute." He growled through gritted teeth as he watched the Slytherin boy laughing at whatever Draco had said, and butt his head slightly against the blonde before drawing away and reaching for his bag from under the table.

_Yeah, that's right, you inbred! Get the hell away from him! _Harry's mind screamed at Blaise.

"What? Who?" Seamus asked, sounding perplexed. Harry didn't even spare the Irish boy a glance as he watched Zabini straighten up and begin to take notes on whatever McGonagall was babbling about. Harry paid his teacher less attention than what he was paying Seamus, and frankly he was surprised that the class had even began. Hardly aware that Seamus had even asked him a question, Harry continued unconsciously mumbling to himself.

"He's doing it on purpose." He growled again, his fist clenched so tightly that he could feel his nails pressing sharply into his palms. He didn't loosen his grip, however, as he glowered at Blaise. His stomach churned with absolute fury as his mind screamed 'He's flirting! He's flirting!'

"What?" Seamus' voice broke through Harry's internal mantra, and he answered before he even realised he was speaking.

"Flirting!" He spat in a furious whisper, his eyes still locked on the back of Blaise' head. "Like Zabini could _ever_ be good enough!" He sneered.

"What's it to you?" Seamus whispered interestedly, Harry failed to notice that the Irish boy's voice had changed from curious to suspicious. "I thought your little arrangement was over." He added slyly.

Harry, however, had stopped listening to him altogether, his one track mind once again firmly positioned on the two boys in front of him.

"I mean seriously! Like that waste of space could give Draco a _fraction_ of what he needs! He deserves someone who knows exactly how amazing he really is. Someone who knows how lucky they are to have him…" Harry whispered furiously.

"What, like you?" Seamus' said apprehensively, a note of command in his voice that Harry - who had been completely focused on Draco and Blaise - couldn't fail to overlook.

Shaking his head fractionally as though clearing it, The Boy Who Lived turned and scrutinized Seamus' expression. The Irish boy appeared to be exasperated and Harry realised that his mutterings had probably raised a few suspicions with the other Gryffindor. Harry hadn't even realised he'd still been speaking.

"I didn't say that!" He whispered carefully, keeping his gaze on Seamus. The Irish boy seemed to be mulling his answer over, eyeing Harry with an amount of irritation that seemed unnecessary for the conversation.

"Then, what are you saying?" Seamus asked, a frosty edge to his voice that hadn't been there a moment ago "Because, funnily enough, you sound jealous, and I was under the impression that you were now with Gin-"

"Don't be ridiculous, Seamus!" Harry scoffed uncomfortably, cutting the other boy off. "It's just an observation. I'm not jealous!" Harry lied, a trickle of sweat beginning to slowly make its way down his back as he realised that he was jealous. He had known he was jealous the moment he had seen Draco and Blaise flirting in the Great hall at breakfast.

"That's alright then. It's not like you'd have any right to be jealous anyway…not after what you did." Seamus breathed, his tone still wintry but lacking any malice.

Harry, however, instantly bristled. The little hairs on the back of his neck stood up on end at the other boy's remark, his whole body incensed. "What's that supposed to mean? What exactly is it that I've supposed to have done?" He snapped, a scowl immediately sliding onto his face. Seamus was acting as though Harry had killed Draco, not dumped him.

Seamus shook his head incredulously, appearing to all the world that he actually gave a damn. Harry couldn't work out why the Irish boy was so bothered.

"Where do you want me to start, Harry?" He retorted, disbelief shining in his Hazel eyes "The part where you dumped him from a great height hours after his own mother's funeral, or the part where he freaked out, had like a mental breakdown or something, and was then _dumped by you from a great height!"_

"Mental breakdown?" Harry scoffed uneasily. His undivided attention now, well and truly, dedicated to Seamus. A chill of fear worked it's way from the top of head to the bottom of his feet, and the beads of sweat that had been falling down his back replaced by goosebumps. Mental breakdown? That couldn't be right, it _wasn't_ right!

Seamus eyed Harry's face as though he didn't quite believe that the other boy really didn't know what he was talking about. With a voice that was clearly sceptical, the Irish boy answered.

"He had flashbacks or something. Apparently when old mother Malfoy died, he lost his memory. He soon got it back at her funeral though, he was practically dragged from the manor by Snape - he was so fucked up. And then you go an-"

"Drop him from a great height. Yes, I get it! How do you know all this?" Harry insisted, unbridled guilt and fear crashing over him in ice cold waves. How had he not known any of this?

"Pansy told me." Seamus answered as though it were obvious.

Harry glanced up to the back of Draco's head and wished with everything in him that he could take it all back. He wanted the Slytherin to turn around, he wanted to apologize. He wanted to…

"I didn't know" He whispered to himself, his fisted hands finally releasing themselves and he brought them up to bury them in his hair. How did this all become such a mess?

"Did you actually give him a chance to tell you? I'm not Malfoy's biggest fan, but even I wouldn't do what you did!" Seamus asked waspishly "I thought you were better than that, but what you did was just cruel. And there was me thinking I was doing you favour in finding out how he was, when all you wanted to do was screw him over!"

Draco's voice exploded inside Harry's head, and he clenched his eyes closed as the memory of that night in the hospital wing played out in his mind.

"_Tell me Harry, was it just a coincidence…or did you choose the day of my Mother's __**fucking**__ funeral to SCREW ME OVER?" _

"Shut up, Seamus! You have no idea what you're talking about! Just because you're screwing around with Pug nosed Parkinson, it doesn't mean you have any idea what the hell is going on in my life!" Harry snarled, his whole body beginning to tremble with shame.

Seamus' eyes flashed, an expression of unadulterated fury springing to his face turning it an odd shade of puce "You _ever _call her that again, and I will kick your arse!" He growled viciously. "And no, I don't know what's going on in your life, and frankly I don't want to. You are being nothing but a rotten coward, and all you're doing is hurting people! Maybe I should have a little chat with Ginny, see if she can make any sense of _your life!_" With a malicious smile pulling at his lips, Seamus studied Harry's face, as though he were admiring the effect his words had on The Boy Who Lived.

Outrage and fear mutated together to make a terrifying hybrid that raced through Harry's veins like poison. "You fucking _hypocrite_! Me, a coward? You want to take a look in the mirror! You can't even look your _girlfriend_ in the eye, let alone anything else! You're the _fucking_ coward." Harry spat, aware that his voice was rising but unable to control it. His fury at Blaise had transferred itself over to Seamus, and Harry was very, very close to hitting the Irish boy.

Students sat close by began to turn around and stare at the two arguing Gryffindor's, and Harry was vaguely surprised that McGonagall hadn't realised what was going on at the back of her class. He could see out of the corner of his eye that Draco had become very stiff in his seat, and Pansy was openly gawping at them, almost completely turned around in her seat, a look of utmost aggravation on her face.

Harry's attention was brought back to Seamus, however, as the Irish boy began to laugh maliciously. "That's right, Harry. _My_ _girlfriend_! She's still _mine_. I may be afraid of what my friends would think, but I would never give her up, even if it meant I was disowned by every stinking one of them! You, though, you can't even admit it to yourself. You're the worst kind of coward, because you won't even _try_ to get what you want-"

"I've already _got_ everything I want, and you better not screw that up! If I hear you've said anything to Ginny, so help me _God_, I will-" Harry threatened, fear once and for all slamming into him. He couldn't let Seamus wreck things now, he couldn't let all of the suffering he had gone through in the past 3 weeks be for nothing.

Suddenly, Draco's chair came careening back and slammed into Harry's table. With fluidity that only Draco could possess, the Slytherin stood, kicked the chair out of his way and stormed from the room, leaving a stunned silence in his wake. Even professor McGonagall seemed stunned by Draco's violent exit. Harry cautiously looked at Seamus, and found the Irish boy staring at Draco's upturned chair in stunned bemusement. The same expression was mirrored on every face in the room besides Pansy and Blaise, who were openly glaring at Harry.

With a sinking feeling that he was sure he was going to regret later on, Harry proved to Seamus that he wasn't a coward.

Standing just as abruptly as Draco did, Harry did the one thing that he had wanted to do all day.

And he tore off after the Slytherin.

**Draco**

Draco sat at his desk between Pansy and Blaise, and savoured the smell of Harry that had lingered on his robe from the contact during Care of Magical Creatures. The Slytherin adored how sweet Harry's choice of aftershave was. Every time he inhaled it, it sent a mixture of giddy joy, maddening desire, and heart wrenching agony through the Slytherin's body. He deemed it worth it, though, when he received the small portion of pure 'Harry'. A portion that the Gryffindor couldn't keep from Draco, couldn't forbid him from having.

The words he had whispered to Harry resonated in his ears, and he wished he hadn't said them. He was sure that Harry would work out who he had been talking about. After all, how many men called Paris could there be?

Humiliation settled inside Draco, and it didn't sit well. He cursed his stupidity, and prayed to every god listening that he would make out of this final class with Harry, unscathed. It was the last class with the Gryffindor's of the day and the last class of term, with the Christmas holidays beginning in four short hours.

That was all. Four miniscule hours before he could hide out in the Slytherin dorms for the duration of the festive period, away from Harry, away from everyone.

Apparently, that time was destined to be the hardest _ever, _because Harry decided to sit directly behind him.

"Potter at 12 o'clock." Blaise leaned over and breathed into his ear. Draco shivered as his friends hot sticky breath washed over his neck, and he desperately tried to suppress the cringe that was begging to burst forth. However, the cringe was swiftly replaced by desire as he recalled how Harry had breathed on him not 10 minutes earlier. A silky heated breeze that had whispered across his skin - The polar opposite to Blaise'.

Nodding imperceptibly in acknowledgement to his friend, Draco turned his head ever so slightly to the right concentrating on what was happening behind him.

Granger's voice instantly began complaining in the shrill way that he despised, However, the content of what she was saying was interesting. So, Harry wanted to sit at the back of class - right by Draco - and he was even willing to do it alone. The Slytherin watched as Granger and Weasley walked to the front of class with a stab of satisfaction. So, Harry was going it alone. Interesting. Very interesting.

Blaise chose that moment to lean into him, a small smirk in his voice as he began to mutter.

"That was a fascinating turn of events, don't you think? So, Wonderboy wants to be close to you. Sweet."

Draco smirked at Blaise' way of assessing the situation, and shaking his head in amusement he replied. "Well, you can hardly blame him…I'm great."

For all the confidence though, Draco was actually a mess. His nerves were shot to bits and his heart, his heart was slamming so forcefully into his chest that he was afraid it may actually escape.

A glimmer of hope, a tiny shimmering glimmer sparked inside of him, and he could feel himself latching onto it, gripping it with both hands. Had what he said to Harry actually made sense to him? Had the Gryffindor understood Draco's cryptic message, understood it and acted on it? Had he realised that he didn't want Draco to be Paris, but Romeo instead? Why the bloody hell was Harry sitting behind him?!

The air was punctuated by the annoying lilting voice of Seamus Finnegan, and Draco physically felt the happiness radiate off Pansy, who was sat beside him. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Pansy shifted fractionally in her seat, her head swivelling around to face him, but her eyes landing on the Gryffindor behind him. Draco was so overwhelmed by the sheer adoration in the girl's eyes that he had to look away. He really couldn't take watching love's young dream when his own personal life was in tatters.

Seconds later, however, and Pansy was leaning toward him, a curiously smug tone to her voice. "Potter was smiling at me. Like, really smiling. Is he on drugs or something?" She laughed lightly in his ear.

Draco mimicked her, his mind readily providing him with an image of Harry smiling, and his heart gave a painful squeeze. His heart felt strangled moments later when he distinctly heard Seamus ask Harry about the Weaslette. His back went rigidly stiff instantly, and he felt his leg begin to bounce up and down beneath the table. Trying his best to control his traitorous body, he reached down and forced his leg to a stop, digging his fingernails into his thigh in the process in an attempt to dispel some of the anger that came with hearing the ginger menaces' name being mentioned. He cursed Professor Snape and his blasted stress potions, and their undesirable side effects.

Blaise noticed Draco's discomfort, and as always he chose to make light of it. Draco mentally groaned as the other boy, once again, leaned into him and whispered "The amazing bouncing leg has returned, I see. Would you like me stamp on your foot to see if it stops it?"

"Ha ha. You are so amusing, Blaise. Excuse me whilst I die of hilarity." Draco muttered in a monotone, causing the other boy to smirk.

"Well, I can always see if Potter has any tips, I'll just ask him." Blaise grinned.

Draco felt his erratic heart leap into his throat as Blaise actually turned around and faced the two Gryffindor's behind them. It took all of Draco's dignity not to wrench the other boy back around and beat the hell out of him.

Seconds - though they could've been hours - later and Blaise was facing forward again, a huge grin on his face that made the pit of Draco's stomach churn with absolute dread.

"What did you say, Zabini?!" He growled, straining his ears to see if Harry was laughing. His leg was now desperately trying to force itself free so it could continue it's nervous dance, and he dug his fingernails in harder, actually wincing slightly in the process.

"Relax, I didn't say anything. He was looking straight at you though…" Zabini whispered, his voice shifting to the higher pitch Pansy's often took on when she was gossiping about someone.

Draco really didn't have the capacity to smile, though. His attention was now fully focused on Harry, and he was stunned when he heard the Gryffindor speak.

"I'm going to punch him in a minute." He whispered to the Irish boy, his voice so full of venom, that Draco was momentarily gob-smacked. He knew Blaise had heard because the grin was back with a vengeance, and the other boy glanced at him subtly, his eyebrows raised in obvious amusement.

"Did I hear that right?" Draco breathed, and Blaise unexpectedly laughed, leaning against Draco's head again.

"I hope he's not talking about me, I'm too pretty to be punched. Actually, saying that, my wand is in my bag…" He muttered, and butted his head against Draco's before pushing himself away and swiping his bag from the floor.

Draco had stopped paying attention to Blaise the moment he had laughed and was once again concentrating on Harry's voice.

"He's doing it on purpose" The Gryffindor snapped, and Draco frowned as Blaise straightened up and began doodling on his note pad.

'What do you think _he_ is doing on purpose, then?' The Slytherin scrawled, and slyly pushed it towards Draco for him to reply.

"Flirting!" Harry practically spat. The hairs on the back of Draco's neck stood up at the loaded accusation that had burst out of the other boy.

Blaise spluttered slightly, but quickly yanked the parchment away when McGonagall's eyes travelled toward the back of the classroom. The rustling sound Blaise had inadvertently made had drowned out what ever Harry had said next because Seamus was retorting in a manor that made Draco want to turn around and break his neck. How dare he talk to Harry like that?!

"…I was under the impression that you were now with Gin-"

"…Don't be ridiculous, Seamus. It's just an observation. I'm not jealous!" Harry breathed, his voice wavering slightly like it did when he was trying to sound nonchalant. _Harry really should be told that he can't do nonchalant! He sounds like he's ill!_

'Jealous!!!' Blaise' parchment appeared back in front of him and he stared at the one word written on it. The one word that confused the hell out of him. Harry was jealous?

"…That's alright then. It's not like you'd have any right to be jealous anyway…not after what you did." Seamus' voice supplied, and Draco froze. He felt Pansy mimic the movement beside him and a dread like none other that he'd ever felt settled over him. Blaise incredulously scraped his quill across his parchment at a frantic pace and swiftly shoved it down toward Draco.

'How the hell does the leprechaun know?'

Draco ignored Pansy's growl of frustration and Blaise' confusion, and remain fixed on the conversation unfolding behind him.

"…What's that supposed to mean? What exactly is it that I've supposed to have done?"

Draco closed his eyes and begged which ever god that might have been listening that Seamus didn't answer that question. He desperately hoped that Pansy hadn't told the Irish boy, that the Irish boy wasn't going to tell Harry.

Please. Don't.

"…Where do you want me to start, Harry? The part where you dumped him from a great height hours after his own mother's funeral, or the part where he freaked out, had like a mental breakdown or something, and was then _dumped by you from a great height!" _

Draco felt his eyes close in despair. Blaise was practically frothing at the mouth beside him, he could tell. And Pansy. Pansy was livid.

"How the _fuck_ does he know?" Blaise cried in astonishment.

"I'm going to murder him in his sleep!" Pansy fumed mutely.

"Mental breakdown?" Harry scoffed.

Draco listened to the three most important people in his life babbling simultaneously, and all he wanted to do was to get the hell out of the classroom. This seriously couldn't be happening! He wasn't sure if he should be mad at Pansy for telling her big mouth boyfriend, sympathize with Blaise who was so utterly clueless, or turn around and scream at Harry for being so blind and selfish.

Unfortunately, the leprechaun wasn't done yet.

"…He had flashbacks or something. Apparently when old mother Malfoy died, he lost his memory. He soon got it back at her funeral though, he was practically dragged from the manor by Snape - he was so fucked up. And then you go an-"

O.K. He was mad at Pansy.

"I'm so sorry." He heard her whisper frantically beside him, her distress almost making him pity her. Not quite though.

"Later." He ground out, his hands shaking so badly he was thankful that they were still beneath the table holding his bloody leg.

"…Drop him from a great height. Yes, I get it! How do you know all this?" Harry whispered harshly.

Draco sensed that Pansy was about to faint, and even though he was furious with her…he threw her a lifeline.

"Blaise, was it you?!" Draco hissed, catching the other Slytherin boy's attention just as Seamus was muttering Pansy's name. Draco was confident that Blaise hadn't heard Pansy's traitorous boyfriend rat her out, when he turned to Draco with a look of utmost glee.

"I most certainly did not, but when I find them I will take pleasure in smacking them around the head!"

Draco's heart dropped when he heard Harry's wounded voice behind him, muttering his ignorance. A very large part of Draco wanted to turn around and scoop Harry into his arms, whispering in his ear that he was forgiven and that it was O.K.

The other part took a morbid pleasure in hearing the other boy sound so defeated.

Seamus Finnegan seemed to be on a mission, however, because he continued his rant. Draco wondered who it was all for. Was he truly disgusted at what Harry did? Or was he doing all of this for Pansy? In some twisted little Gryffindor way, was he giving Harry the telling off that Draco knew Pansy would just love to give?

"…Did you actually give him a chance to tell you? I'm not Malfoy's biggest fan, but even I wouldn't do what you did! I thought you were better than that, but what you did was just cruel. And there was me thinking I was doing you favour in finding out how he was, when all you wanted to do was screw him over!"

"O.K, this is just weird now. Where the hell in Mc Idiot getting all this crap from?" Blaise hissed, and Draco ignored him. He really wanted to know Harry's reply to this one. Wanted to know if he was going to defend himself or hold his hands up. The Slytherin was fairly certain that Harry remembered the similar words that Draco himself had yelled on the night they had parted ways. He was sure the Gryffindor was being visited by the memory -just like he was.

"…Shut up, Seamus! You have no idea what you're talking about! Just because you're screwing around with Pug nosed Parkinson, it doesn't mean you have any idea what the hell is going on in my life!" Harry growled.

Suddenly, the air around them was electric. Draco glanced from Pansy's pale stricken face to Blaise' bright red, stunned one. Behind him, Draco could hear Harry's furious fast paced breathing, and Seamus' voice when he spoke was the deadliest Draco had ever heard of a Gryffindor.

"…You _ever _call her that again, and I will kick your arse! And no, I don't know what's going on in your life, and frankly I don't want to. You are being nothing but a rotten coward, and all you're doing is hurting people! Maybe I should have a little chat with Ginny, see if she can make any sense of _your life!_"

Draco felt his entire stomach flip over in some unknown emotion. His heart was urging Seamus on, pleading with him to go, go find the Weaslette and tell her! But in his head he was throwing daggers at the Irish boy, threatening to murder his entire family if he dared breathe a word of this to Harry's girlfriend, dared to ruin Harry's life!

He couldn't stop listening now, he had to know what Harry was thinking. He had to know how he felt.

"…You fucking _hypocrite_! Me, a coward? You want to take a look in the mirror! You can't even look your _girlfriend_ in the eye, let alone anything else! You're the _fucking_ coward." Harry was practically on the verge of yelling by this point, and Draco noticed that their classmates were beginning to turn around to see what was going on. Luckily, the Mudblood and Weasel seemed to be out of hearing distance as they remained facing the front, which would make this whole thing easier for Harry. At least he wouldn't have to explain to them why he was arguing with Finnegan.

In the flurry of frantic whispers between Pansy and Blaise, Draco missed what was being said behind him.

"Shut the fuck up!" He hissed, and oddly enough, they both obeyed, instantly falling silent. As soon as Harry spoke though, he wished he had let his friends continue to bicker.

"…I've already _got_ everything I want, and you better not screw that up! If I hear you've said anything to Ginny, so help me _God_, I will-"

That was enough. Draco had his limits, and he just reached them. He couldn't, no, he _refused_ to listen to anymore of this argument. If Harry was so happy with his lot, so happy with the weasel girl - then, he could bugger off and be deliriously happy with her.

Draco certainly wasn't going to stick around to find out how it all worked out.

With a rage and a definite splintering of his heart, Draco threw himself from his seat, kicking the blasted thing out of his way, and ignoring Pansy and Blaise, and Harry and the rest of the class, Draco stormed out with the sole mission of putting as much distance between himself and Harry as possible.

To Be Continued…

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A/N: Thanks for reading. I love you all xxx

Until next time…


	15. Come What May

I own nothing.

A/N: Chapter 15 - Ta-da! Hey guys! It's 7am and I've just finished this chapter after zero sleep for 2 days, and I'm completely exhausted. However, I really wanted to get this chapter done, and I had sooooo much fun writing it! (Lol. I'm so screwed!!!)

Anyway, I hope you like, and chapter 16 will be up very shortly.

Thank you for your reviews, they truly make my day! I love reading them, and they give me incentive to write rather than laze around on Facebook! Lol. Big love to you all, enjoy…

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Chapter 15 - Come what may.

'Which way would he go?'

The thought bounced around Harry's head as he stood outside the Transfiguration classroom. He could go left or right, one way would lead to Draco, one wouldn't. The Slytherin had already disappeared before Harry had managed to get a glimpse of him, and he knew that standing outside the class pondering the blonde's choice in direction was probably not the best idea. Surely McGonagall would try and find out what the commotion had been. But then again, she might not. After all she knew of the secret relationship between Harry and Draco, she had seen it blatantly displayed in her office when the two boys were unceremoniously dumped on her rug on returning from Malfoy manor. He prayed that she would see what had happened as a lover's tiff and punish them privately later on, with no prying eyes and ears about. The Boy Who Lived decided he wasn't going to stick around to find out.

'Left or right?' The question kicked his brain back into gear, and making a spontaneous decision, Harry turned left.

He bounded down the hall, his teeth worrying his lip as he figured that the time it had taken for him to choose a direction could have given Draco enough time to have changed floors, but he kept running, glancing into empty classrooms as he passed them.

'Come on, where are you?' He thought desperately, his lungs burning as he tried to remember to breathe.

The fury he had felt whilst arguing with Seamus had dissipated as soon as he had left the class, and now that he had a moment of retrospect he groaned at how idiotic he had been to discuss something so private in a class full of people. With Draco sat in front of him, no less.

Seamus' words had hit Harry like a punch in the face, and now as he began to absorb them, a self-loathing he had never quite experienced before settled around his neck threatening to strangle him.

Harry had never considered himself a coward before, he had always been the hero, always been so ready to put himself out there - no matter what the personal cost. Now, however, he realised just how spineless he had been acting. Fear had followed him around like a dark cloud, and he did absolutely nothing to escape it. He'd let himself be overwhelmed by it, controlled by it.

After a few minutes of running, and still not finding the Slytherin, Harry stopped and regrouped his thoughts.

Draco was obviously mad, that much was a given. Where would he go to blow off steam?

'The tower!' The idea pinged inside Harry's head like a light bulb switching on, and he changed directions, running through the halls toward the nearest staircase.

Of course Draco would go to the tower, it seemed so obvious. He knew that Harry wouldn't be there as he was still, supposedly, still in Transfiguration. The blonde probably thought he could go there to calm down away from inquisitive eyes, and leave before he would be caught.

Harry picked up his pace as he dashed up a flight of stairs that brought him to the 5th floor, and made a mad dash along the Defence Against the Dark Arts corridor to the next flight of stairs at the other end.

Harry had no idea what he was going to say if and when he found Draco. After all, he didn't actually know what had happened to cause the other boy to flee the room in the first place.

He just knew that he had to find him. It was like a magnetic pull - he had no choice - he had to go after the blonde and find out if he was okay.

He came to the end of the hallway, and as he turned to run up the stairs, he saw Draco nearing the top of the staircase.

"Draco!" He called to the other boy, and instantly doubled his speed, taking the steps two at a time.

The Slytherin carried on walking, ignoring Harry, and the Gryffindor shook his head in annoyance.

"Draco, wait!" He called again, as the blonde made it to the top of the stairs.

"Sod off, Potter" He called over his shoulder, before he turned to enter the corridor on his left.

Harry pushed himself harder, attempting three steps at a time, and paid for his foolishness when his foot became tangled in his robe, and he crashed onto the steps, his knee connecting with the edge of the stone.

"Dra- Ahh! Fuck!…ow…fuckity fuck!" Harry bellowed, pain exploding in his knee, sending vomit into his throat. He managed to swallow it back down, but it kept trying to come back up with every throb of pain from his knee, and he shuddered as the stomach acids burned a trail up to his mouth

Hearing Harry's cry of pain, Draco whipped around to see the Gryffindor fall against the step, and panic instantly slammed into him when he assumed the boy had fallen down the stairs.

Running down to the middle of the staircase where Harry's body was slumped, Draco swooped down and tugged at Harry's shoulder, pulling his face away from where it was pressed against the stone step.

"Are you hurt? Did you fall?" Draco questioned, concern instantly washing over him when Harry gave a feeble moan, his eyes clenched tight in obvious pain.

"I tripped." The Gryffindor whimpered pathetically, his eyes fluttering open and landing on Draco's face. "I've hurt my knee." And he gripped his knee for emphasis.

Draco straightened up, irritation replacing the concern he had felt moments before, and he shook his head at his idiotic reaction. Why the hell was he running to Harry's aide?

"You tripped?!" He sneered in disbelief, and with a huff of annoyance he turned to make his way back up the steps.

Harry tried to pull himself to his feet, but his knee throbbed again and he quickly crumpled to the ground. He scrambled for a way of getting Draco to stay with him, for some unknown reason he felt a need to be around the other boy. So, he did the only thing he could think of, and lunged forward grabbing the Slytherin's ankle. "Wait!" He cried.

Draco stumbled from the unexpected action, and just managed to catch himself before he had a similar tumble to Harry's. When he had righted himself, he turned around and faced Harry, a look of contempt plastered across his aristocratic face.

"Potter, what the hell are you playing at? Get off me!" He growled, kicking his leg slightly in an attempt to dislodge Harry's grip.

The Boy Who Lived scrambled for something to say, and their earlier conversation sprang to his mind. "Who the fuck is Paris, Draco? At least tell me that. Please." He asked. His knee was beginning to calm down now, and he felt it was possible that he could stand.

He carefully manoeuvred himself into a standing position, whilst Draco stared at him incredulously, his arms crossed in front of him pompously.

"You seriously don't know?" He demanded, an echo of his former self throwing Harry a little. He wasn't going to let it deter him though, he did actually want to know the answer.

"No." Harry shrugged, limping up the steps toward Draco.

The Slytherin looked away from The Boy Who Lived in resignation. He hadn't wanted to tell Harry the actual meaning of his Paris comment. He'd hoped that the Gryffindor would just forget about it.

Apparently not, though.

Harry stared at the Slytherin until he turned his head back to face him, his silver gaze meeting Harry's emerald. With a sigh, the Slytherin answered.

"Romeo and Juliet. Paris was the guy whom Juliet was meant to marry. She chose Romeo instead, because he's so fucking great. O.K, happy? Now, leave me alone." He spat, before turning and making his way to the top of the stairs, where he turned left.

Harry stared at the space Draco had been standing for a fraction of a second, before he limped after him catching up to him as he made his way down the corridor. Harry seized his chance when he spotted an alcove and yanked the blonde into it, knowing that they would have a small amount of privacy, so long as no one walked passed. Before the blonde could get a word in edge ways, Harry had him cornered in the niche with only two steps separating them. With his back to the corridor, Harry faced Draco, who looked entirely put out, and stared at him.

Draco's strangled cry and subsequent indignation at being man handled was drowned out by his last statement that was reverberating around Harry's scull.

"What the fuck was that supposed to mean?!" Harry blurted out.

"Potter! Who the hell do you think you are? Get out of my way!" Draco snarled incredulously, his eyes flicking around the tiny space in which they stood, and the only exit that was currently being blocked by Harry.

The Gryffindor sensed Draco's discomfort, however, it was quickly over shadowed by his raging curiosity.

"What did you mean? Why did you say that you were 'Paris'?" Harry persisted, his arms crossed across his chest, and his face suitably confused.

"Just drop it, Potter, and run along to your precious Weaslette!" The Slytherin spat. He wanted very much to push Harry out of the way, but he knew that if he touched him he wouldn't be able to stop, so he was stuck.

"No. I want to know what you meant." Harry demanded.

"For Merlin's sake, are you completely dumb? I'm Paris because I'm not fucking _Romeo_! I'm the loser, the _unloved_. Story of my bloody life! Now get out of my way!" Draco cried in exasperation. The complete injustice of the whole situation feeling like a lead weight in his stomach. He wanted to scream at Harry, wanted to once and for all drive home the fact that he had broken Draco's heart, had completely smashed it to pieces, and with every public kiss and touch he shared with Ginny Weasley, he was grinding the pieces into dust.

Harry appeared to be completely stunned by Draco's outburst. His entire face going slack apart from his mouth that seemed to be working towards speech but not quite making it. He hadn't shifted even a fraction away from the mouth of the alcove, still effectively blocking Draco's escape with his staggered form, and the Slytherin still steadfastly refused to push past him.

The Boy Who Lived began to slowly shake his head, his eyebrows pulling together forming a pained, yet confused, frown. When he spoke his voice was barely even a whisper, yet the pure honesty and belief in his tone saturated the words.

"You know that's not true."

Harry's eyes were locked on Draco's, and as much as he wanted to look away, the Slytherin just couldn't tear his gaze from the other boy. The Gryffindor's swirling emerald iris' were glowing slightly, an odd sort of determination sparkling at the core.

Draco flinched slightly when he felt Harry's hand tentatively connect with his chest, settling just over his heart, and the Slytherin's breathing instantly became shallow. He felt his eyes widen slightly as he stared at the Gryffindor, the sudden closeness throwing Draco, and he watched the other boy with a morbid fascination, both fearing and anticipating Harry's unexpected intimacy.

Harry's hand trembled slightly, but he didn't remove it. Draco's chest heaved underneath his palm, sending a jolt of electricity up the Gryffindor's arm. It was as though his body recognised the other boy and it rejoiced at finally being reunited. Every inch of the Gryffindor's skin erupted in goosebumps, and a tingle ran down his spine and exploded in his stomach.

"You know _in here _that that's not true." Harry breathed again, his fingers pressing against Draco's chest, literally feeling the Slytherin's heart beating beneath his touch.

The atmosphere in the alcove instantly became charged as the two boys gazed at each other. Harry's admission hung in the air around them, and Draco struggled to absorb what was happening. This wasn't right. Harry couldn't do this, he couldn't just pick Draco up when he felt like it, only to drop him again as soon as things got a little scary. It wasn't fair!

Besides, Harry was talking nonsense. How could Harry say it wasn't true, when he'd been the one to tell him in the first place? He'd told Draco that he didn't care about him. After all the things the Gryffindor had said in the Hospital Wing, and his behaviour since; How on earth could Draco interpretative that as anything other than being the loser?

His expression mirrored the disbelief and discomfort that was raging inside of him, his face adopting a watered down version of his trademark sneer.

"How exactly is it that I'm supposed to _know_ that? From you telling me you're in love with Weasel's sister, or having to watch your disgusting displays of that _love?_" Draco snarled, his lip unintentionally curling as he spoke.

He was still very aware of Harry's hand on his chest, and he fought to try and steady out his racing heartbeat. He refused to let the other boy know how effected he was by him, refused to let himself feel anything positive from the contact.

Harry dejectedly closed his eyes, his face crumpling slightly. His head bowed for a second, before righting itself again. When he opened his eyes, his emerald gaze sparkled with remorse.

"I didn't…I…I just-" He stammered, unable to find the right words.

"Just leave it. It's done." Draco interrupted, and he now felt it was completely necessary to leave. He didn't want to hear Harry's excuses. He wanted to get away from the other boy before he could feel anymore pain, before the Gryffindor _caused_ him anymore pain.

He took a step forward, attempting to edge around The Boy Who Lived, but Harry didn't move. The hand on Draco's chest applied more pressure and he felt himself being pressed back into the alcove, Harry taking a step forward until Draco's back was pressed against the wall behind him.

"I was afraid." Harry whispered, sincerity and shame painted across his pale face. His shallow breathing feathered across Draco's face, and it was all the Slytherin could do not to lean forward and kiss the other boy.

Harry's muted voice continued to try and explain his actions, and with each word came a blow to Draco's already feeble self-restraint

"…Afraid of what was happening…of how I was feel-" The Gryffindor murmured, only to be interrupted again

"I said leave it. It's _done._" Draco croaked, his traitorous heart galloping beneath Harry's finger tips.

He wanted to leave, he could sense what was going to happen, and he didn't want to be _here_ again - He didn't want to be built up by the other boy to be dropped again.

A soft sigh escaped Harry's lips and washed over the Sytherin's face, a shiver echoing through his body as a result. He felt his eyes close, and he swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat with a great amount of difficulty, before he refocused his gaze on the Gryffindor.

"I'm sorry - for everything I did - for everything I didn't do. I'm sorry." Harry breathed, his gaze fixed on his hand against Draco's chest.

The Gryffindor's fingers hesitantly began to minutely stroke the fabric of Draco's school shirt, the movement so miniscule that it would be easy to miss…if it hadn't been sending electric shocks through Draco's chest directly into his heart.

The blonde was beginning to find it almost impossible to breath as uncertainty, and downright longing, practically blocked his airway.

Harry's eyes slowly, almost painfully so, travelled up the length of Draco's torso and connected with his silver gaze. The longing Draco felt was mirrored in the Gryffindor's stare, and an uneasy explosion of butterflies erupted in the Slytherin's stomach.

Harry's Adam's apple bobbed about as he swallowed, and his tongue briefly flashed out between his lips, apparently in an unconscious manner.

Draco's mouth instantly watered at the sight, and his blood instantly rushed south, much to his chagrin. His breathing hitched as Harry's hand began to slide up his chest, his movements achingly tentative, and it settled against his neck, his fingers caressing the skin just below Draco's ear.

The Slytherin's eyelids drooped involuntarily, and he once again swallowed hard against the tightness of his throat.

What was he doing? Why was he allowing this? Harry was going to leave again, he was going to regret this - just like he had regretted everything else.

Draco's eyes flashed open and locked on the Gryffindor's. The yearning that reflected back shattered a little of Draco's will power, and he drew in a shuddery breath, trying to rebuild his resolve.

"Please, Harry… Don't." He murmured, his head shaking fractionally for emphasis.

Harry's hand slid into Draco's hair, trailing around to the back of his head, drawing him closer.

The Gryffindor pressed his body against the blonde's, pinning him against the wall, and an identical sigh escaped both of their lips.

The right side of Harry's face brushed against the left side of Draco's, and in an almost indiscernible movement their lips touched. It was so slight that it couldn't be classed as a kiss, yet fireworks still burst inside Draco's heart at the feel of it.

His eyes, once again, fell closed and he tried to calm his raging nerves. He desperately tried to regroup his determination to stop what was happening, but he was failing miserably.

"Harry…" He whimpered, and a part of his mind cringed when heard the sound that was supposed to be a warning come out as an invitation.

Harry's soft lips were a breathe away from his, and he trembled when the Gryffindor whispered to him again, brushing them once again against Draco's with a feather light touch that was both thrilling and maddening.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry… I didn't mean it, any of it…"

With a tiny turn of his head, Harry finally pressed his lips against Draco's with the smallest amount of pressure, and the Slytherin's mind exploded with ecstasy.

The Gryffindor slowly, repeatedly placed feather light kisses against Draco's mouth, his fingers that were buried in the back of Draco's hair, gripped his head, pulling him closer.

Out of nowhere, Draco's resolve completely fell away, and he began to respond. His lips hesitantly brushed against the Gryffindor's, eliciting a sigh from the other boy that urged the blonde on.

His hands, that had been hanging limply at his sides, began to tingle, and he slowly reached forward and placed them on Harry's hips.

Feeling Draco's hands lightly gripping his sides, Harry melted against him, and with his free hand he reached around to the base of the Slytherin's spine and pulled him forward, pressing his pelvis flush against Draco's and groaning slightly when their erections collided.

The Gryffindor continued to place soft chaste kisses against Draco's sweet lips, revelling in shivers he elicited from the other boy, only now, he ran his tongue along the Slytherin's bottom lip begging for entrance.

Draco gasped softly at the sensation, and his grip on Harry's hip tightened as he bucked his own hips against The Boy Who Lived.

All conscious thought flew from Harry's mind from that moment, and his mouth crashed against Draco's, tasting as much of him as he possibly could.

Draco kissed him back with just as much ferocity, his hands dragging up Harry's sides, desperately pulling his as close as possible.

Their frantic mouths repeatedly slammed against one another, their tongues fighting for dominance, though neither cared who won so long as they didn't stop.

Every part of Harry's body that Draco touched felt as though it were being scorched with fire, and the temperature in the alcove flew up to feverish as they longingly ran their hands along stomachs, shoulders, faces. Each rememorizing every possible inch of the other.

When the time came that he needed air, Harry pulled away from Draco's mouth, only to begin planting kisses along his jaw and down his neck, the Slytherin throwing his head back to allow him access.

"Oh god, I'm missed you" The Gryffindor breathed desperately, his teeth pulling gently at Draco's earlobe. "I've missed you, so much."

Draco's heart fluttered, and his hands pulled Harry's face back to him, his lips slamming against the Gryffindor's with feverish urgency.

His entire being seemed to forget that the last 3 weeks had happened, and in the heat of the moment Draco, once again, put himself out on the line.

"Oh, I love you, Harry." He whispered as his mouth retreated from Harry's, only to crash against it again just as quickly.

Harry moaned in pure delight, and Draco felt a smile spring to the Gryffindor's lips, his hand gripping Draco's hair pulling him as close as possible.

"Oh, Draco...I…" He began to whisper, only to be cut of by a strangled gasp.

Harry instantly pulled away, his face full of remorse as he gazed at Draco, his eyes searching the Slytherin's face for signs of distress.

Draco panted as he looked at Harry in confusion, wondering why the hell he had stopped kissing him, had stopped whispering to him.

An expression of uncertainty passed across the Gryffindor's face as he gazed at Draco, and he blinked as though he were trying to figure out why he had stopped.

A movement from behind Harry caught Draco's eye, and as he glanced over the Gryffindor's shoulder his eyes locked with a wide eyed stare. The bottom of his stomach dropped out at the abrupt arrival of the other person, and his brain ground to a halt.

Harry's hand, that was still buried in his hair, clenched painfully tight when a strangled gasp rent the air, and Draco hissed, his eyes flying to meet Harry's.

The Gryffindor's expression begged Draco to tell him that they were still alone, that they hadn't just been caught, and Draco's heart poised itself to fall apart as Harry slowly turned his head and took in the new addition to the hallway.

Draco watched as Harry's face crumpled, and with one last painful tug at Draco's hair, he wrenched his hand away from him, taking off down the hallway, following as the intruder fled.

Draco stood stock still in the empty alcove for a long moment, staring at the wall opposite. His gasps for breath soon turned into sobs as he squeezed his eyes closed against the torrent of pain that was ripping his heart apart.

He slid down the wall, crashing to the ground in a trembling heap, as tears flowed freely from his silver eyes. It was too much… he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't allow someone to hurt him like this. He couldn't keep letting Harry break his heart like this.

Pulling his knees up to his chin and burying his face, Draco vowed that he would never let another person make him feel this way ever again.

Enough was enough.

To Be Continued…

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Dun, dun, dun! Thanks for reading, big love! If you review, you get extra love lol

Until next time…xxx


	16. A Liar Is Always Caught Out

I own nothing.

A/N: Hey guys, chapter 16... ta-da! Proper A/N at the end of the chapter, so I'll shut up for now lol

Read on, my dears, and thank you for the reviews - I love you all xxx

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Chapter 16 - A liar is always caught out.

**Harry**

Harry's hand clenched into a fist at the sound of the strangled gasp, pulling harshly at the roots at the back of Draco's head. He was faintly aware of the hiss of pain that escaped the Slytherin's mouth at the abrupt violent gesture.

Harry couldn't even build up enough thought to release his hold as he turned his head slowly and gazed, horrified, into the crystal blue eyes that were filling with tears to his left.

Time stood still as they stared at each other. Harry was sure his heart was going to stop, and he clung harder to Draco's hair as he resisted the urge to crumple to the ground and die.

Draco seemed just as frozen as Harry as he took in the new addition to the hallway.

"Gin." Harry croaked. Horror and fear washing over him in ice cold waves, and he trembled as each one hit.

Ginny seemed rooted to the spot. The hand that was covering her mouth shaking, her blue eyes wide with shock and disbelief.

Drawing in a shaky strangled breath, she abruptly turned and vanished down the hallway.

Harry wrenched his hand out of Draco's hair, and tore off down the corridor after her, his heavy footsteps loud in the silence as they echoed off the walls. He could hear Ginny's gasping sobs up ahead, and his stomach twisted in remorse and fear. This couldn't be happening!

He skidded around a corner that lead to an unused part of the castle and cried out in surprise as he almost crashed into the red head, who was bracing herself against a suite of armour, violent heaves shuddered through her body as she vomited behind it.

"Gin - " Harry panted, as he tried to stop himself from tumbling over her. As soon as he had restored his balance, he reached out a shaky hand to help her, but noticing his advance she abruptly straightened up, swaying dangerously as though she had head rush. She recoiled away from him, stumbling backwards with her arms flying up as though defending herself from something dirty that would soil her clothes.

"Don't touch me!" She gasped, wiping her mouth with the back of her right hand as she continued to back away. Her wide eyes watched Harry warily as though he may pounce on her at any moment, and her left hand clutched at her chest as her breathing neared hyperventilation.

"Don't you _dare_ touch me, you _vile_…!" Words seemed to fail her as she heaved again, aggressive shudders once again ripping through her slight body.

Harry froze, his arm still extended. Time simply stopped moving as he stared at the girl before him. He felt as though Ginny had just plunged a knife into his heart and had begun slowly twisting it. The utter contempt in her tone hit Harry like a brick in the face, and it was all he could do not to stumble backwards from the force of it. He stared at her with wide eyes, his mouth moving but no words materializing. He had no idea what to say. What _could_ he say?

Ginny's initial shock quickly morphed into fury. Her lip began to curl distastefully, and although she seemed to be struggling against the urge to be sick, she appeared to be trying to say something. However, every time she opened her mouth another shudder vibrated through her.

"What...What the hell…? Why were you and…" She squeezed her eyes closed, throwing her hand back against her mouth in order to stifle a sob.

Harry was very aware of how much Ginny was trembling, and with each tremor that tore through her, the knife in Harry's heart twisted a little more. He stood, frozen. Ginny's distress feeling like actual physical pain to him. His brain seemed to be concentrating on making him notice every little break in Ginny's voice, every _disgusted_ break. For Harry knew that's how she felt, it was clear from her reaction. Ginny was truly repulsed by what she had just witnessed.

He was vaguely conscious that he was trembling, and his breathing was far too shallow for someone that was stood stationary, but fear and pain had joined forces and closed his lungs off.

"Gin - " He breathed, his voice so low he was afraid she wouldn't hear it. He desperately wanted to explain, to beg her to forgive him.

"NO! Don't! I don't want to hear it." She sobbed, her shaking hands seemingly unable to stay in one position for too long as she switched from tugging them through her hair and pressing them against her face.

Harry watched mutely, clamping his teeth down around his bottom lip to stop himself from shedding the tears that were threatening to spill over. He knew he had no right to cry, not when he was watching the bottom falling out of Ginny's world. He had to suffer through this, he had to endure the guilt that was spreading through his body like poison, because after all, he had brought this upon himself. He deserved the anguish and torment that was sure to come now that he had been caught out.

"Oh my god." Ginny whimpered into her hands. She raised her head slightly, still covering her mouth which appeared to be hanging open in horror and she gazed at him, her eyes brimming with unshed tears, and her face… the pain, if possible, was etched even deeper.

"Oh, God. This is why we… It was him, wasn't it?! You've been with him all along, haven't you?… No wonder you didn't care that we broke up. You were fooling around with Draco _fucking_ Malfoy." She gasped, her shaking fingers turning white as she clamped them even tighter around her mouth, her entire body convulsing with the sob that shook through her.

"No, Gin-" Harry insisted, his body finally releasing him from it's frozen state and he sagged slightly. He shook his head frantically, his hand flying up to the wall beside him for support.

"-No. We didn't even know each others identities until Halloween. Up until then we were just writing to each other. I swear." He whispered desperately, his need to get the truth across outweighing his fear of saying or doing something that may cause the situation to spiral even further out of control.

He had obviously said something wrong though, because Ginny's eyes drifted closed and her hand fell away from her open mouth. She appeared as though she wanted to cry out but no sound could escape her.

"The diary." She gasped, comprehension seemingly settling over her. She still refused to open her eyes, but Harry could tell that, in her mind, the puzzle pieces had began falling into place. The Boy Who Lived felt the bottom of his stomach drop out as she made the connection between him writing to Draco and writing in the two way book that his friends had dubbed 'Diary'. Her immediate understanding knocked him for six, and he closed his own eyes as shame and guilt flowed like poison through his veins.

"It was him, wasn't it?" She whispered. "You were talking to _him_…when you were with _me_...whilst you were sat beside _me_!… Was that _exciting_, Harry? Did you get a _thrill_ out of being with _him_ under _my_ nose?" Despair and revulsion twisted the words as they exited Ginny's mouth, and Harry cringed when he realised how it all looked to her. But it really wasn't how she thought it was. She was making it sound as though he had been getting some sick pleasure out of it all, she was making it sound sordid.

"No, you've got it all wrong. It wasn't like that. I'm sorry, I never wanted you to find out - not like this. I-" Harry cried, desperately wanting to explain but having no clue how to do so.

Ginny's eyes flashed as fury practically rolled off her."Of course you didn't want me to find out your dirty little secret! The great Harry Potter…a fucking _queer_!" She spat, pure venom dripping from her retort.

Harry literally stumbled back as the weight of her argument ploughed into him, pain searing through him as she branded him. Queer.

He couldn't stop the agonized tears that spilled from his emerald eyes.

"No." He murmured, shaking his head. His voice was so saturated with pain he was surprised it had even managed to make a sound. "I'm not…That's not it, Gin."

"You were _kissing _Draco Malfoy, Harry! How do you explain that? I _saw_ you _kissing_ him!" Ginny screeched, the sound bouncing off the walls, echoing through the corridor

She stayed as far away from him as she could in the narrow hallway, her unrelenting icy gaze fixed on his face. Her arms were now wrapped around her body as though she were trying to keep herself together, and she was still trembling.

"Please Gin.." Harry sobbed, his lower jaw quivering slightly. He couldn't handle it, he couldn't handle the things she was saying. He knew her accusations were true, but that didn't stop him trying to deny them, trying to hide from them. Fear felt like a noose around his neck that was slowly getting tighter. His world felt as though it were collapsing around him, and he could see no way of stopping it.

"What, Harry?! What?! You want me to leave it? Forget I ever saw it? Forget I saw my boyfriend KISSING A GUY!!!" Ginny screeched. Tears now streaming down her face, but she seemed completely unaware of them.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean… It kills me that you-" Harry whispered, attempting to close a little of the distance between them, but as soon as he took a step forward, Ginny took a step back. Her hand flew out in front of her to ward him off as she continued to yell at him.

"I don't _care _if your _sorry_!!!" She screamed. "I don't _care_ how _your_ feeling! How could you do this? You made me think we were…" Words seemed to fail her, and she covered her face again as they were replaced by a sob.

"I didn't know what to do, Gin." Harry croaked, shakily. "I thought I could handle it. I thought if I could make myself love you…"

Ginny's hands dropped away from her face, her eyes flashing dangerously "Make yourself love me?!" She growled "You've been telling me you love me for _weeks_, Harry! What was your plan? The more times you said it, the more you'd believe it!?"

"Yes. No! I'm sorry. I should never have said that when I didn't…I was confused. I was trying to convince myself that I wanted you…I just-" Harry frantically ran his hands through his hair, and tilted his head to gaze at the ceiling as though it held the answers to all his problems. Tears still pooled in his eyes, but he fought them back, biting a hole in his lip in the process.

"Trying to convince yourself??? _Trying to convince yourself??!!" _Ginny breathed, disbelief and pain saturating her tone. Harry looked down and at her face to find the pain mirrored there, and he desperately scrambled to try and explain.

"I hoped I would forget about him…move on, and be with you." He said. He wanted to take the look of anguish away from her pale face. He wanted to comfort her, but she still refused to let him near her.

"You make me feel sick." She whispered, her voice shaking but the conviction evident. The tears had ceased falling from her eyes, and they sparkled a crystal blue as they watered ready for their next outpour. "How can you stand there? How can you do this to me?" She cried, hitting her hand against her chest.

Harry clamped his eyes shut "I'm sorry." He whispered pathetically "I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry-"

"No your not. Don't tell me your sorry!" The red head yelled, causing Harry to flinch.

"But I am, I am _so_ sorry for hurting you." He muttered, as he struggled against the urge to be sick. His stomach feeling as though it were on a vicious spin cycle.

"You're a selfish, deceitful, liar! You _used_ me. You've been using me all along." Ginny screeched, and this time she launched herself forward toward Harry, her hair flying out behind her like a whip of fire. The Boy Who Lived's stomach clenched as he waited for her to hit him. He stood rigidly still, his hands planted firmly against his sides as he anticipated her attack, knowing that he completely deserved anything she could throw at him. However, she stopped just in front of him. Being absolutely careful not to touch him, she stood so that he had no other option but to look her in the eye.

"Why? I want to know why? Why were you kissing Draco Malfoy?" She breathed, the tears once again rolling down her cheeks.

He didn't know how to answer. His mouth opened and closed again as he tried to think of something to say that would make the girl before him feel better, to make the situation better. He knew there was nothing he could say that would do either of those things though. He knew that there was nothing he could say that would satisfy Ginny, who rightly so, wanted to make him feel terrible.

The shift in Ginny's tone when she spoke again confused him, though. The anger dissipated, and was replace by something that made Harry feel worse than he did before…

"Were you confused?… Curious?… Was that it?" Ginny prodded, for the first time during their confrontation _hope_ filtered into her tone.

Harry's eyes slid closed at the sound, and he found himself in a position he had been in a few weeks prior. Did he lie; Tell her that he had been confused, curious, and that he realised the error of his ways? Or did he do what he should have done from the very beginning - Tell the truth.

His hesitance, however, wasn't appreciated.

"TELL ME WHY!" She yelled in his face, her anger once again surfacing the longer he resisted answering her, causing his eyes to fly open in shock. The words tumbled out of Harry's mouth before he could stop himself, and he found that even if he'd had a chance to think about it he still would have said it. Said the thing that had been eating him up inside for weeks.

"BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!" He yelled back at her with just as much ferocity as she had used. The words resounded in his ears as they echoed off the walls.

Ginny stood before him in stunned silence. Her bone white face going completely slack, and she had appeared to have stopped breathing. Her wide eyes were locked on Harry's face, incredulous astonishment swimming in her crystal blue iris'.

The words that Harry had been fighting for so many weeks had been said, and rather than feeling relief at finally saying it out loud, all he felt was misery.

"I love him." He whispered dejectedly as he slid down the wall and crumpled at Ginny's feet. He brought his knees up to his chin and curled in on himself, his hands gripping at his hair in despair as the tears he had been fighting once again began to fall from his emerald eyes.

Ginny remained standing in shock, her stunned gaze fixed on the wall where Harry's head had just been. "_What?" _she breathed uncertainly, as though she'd decided she had heard him wrong.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you, and I'm sorry I've fucked everything up. I'm sorry." Harry cried into his hands. He'd given up, he couldn't fight it anymore. He was sick of lying, and found no point in continuing when Ginny already knew. The damage was already done. His life was over.

Apparently, Ginny was choosing not to believe him, though.

"No you don't…! You hate him, you always have!" She murmured, still sounding disbelieving as she tried to make sense of what he was saying.

Harry shook his head feebly. He couldn't understand why she was suddenly so uncertain when she had seen him and Draco together, when she had just spent the last 10 minutes discovering the truth.

Silence filled the hallway, and for a moment Harry thought Ginny had left, until he felt her sink to the ground next to him. Her breathing was still shallow, she still seemed to be furious, however, she had stopped yelling which he was thankful for.

His head throbbed as the silence pressed against him. He wanted to ask what was going to happen, but at the same time he was terrified of what her answer might be. Ginny's stunned muteness scared Harry more than her yelling. He didn't like not knowing what was going on in her head.

"I've seen it, I've seen you when he's around…you _hate_ each other." She muttered. She sounded as though her entire belief system was being shaken up. Harry peeked at her from behind his hands, and saw the look of pure bewilderment plastered across her pallid face. The dried tear tracks on her cheeks were the only indication that she had been crying, and for the moment she seemed more concerned with the small technicality of Harry _loving_ Draco than Harry _cheating on her _with Draco.

Harry shook his head again, and dropping his hands from his red eyes, he turned and gazed at her.

"Ginny…I thought I hated him for so long. I knew I felt something strong for him, and I assumed it was hate, too. But I was wrong… I've been half in love with that boy for years! I've wanted him longer than you could possibly imagine, and I never even knew it! And when I finally realised it, it was too fucking late, because I ruined it. I've lost him, because if I was to be with him I'd lose everyone I have ever loved. I'd lose my family." He whimpered, looking away as tears once again spilled from his eyes.

Silence met Harry's admission, and he waited for the explosion, waited for Ginny to start shouting at him again. But it didn't come. He wiped his eyes roughly with the balls of his hands, and chanced a glance at the red head. Ginny was watching The Boy Who Lived with a blank face. She seemed to have run out of steam.

They stared at each other for a long moment, neither speaking, neither wanting to break the silence. Harry wondered what would happen when they eventually parted ways. Would Ginny tell everyone? Of course, she had every right, but that didn't stop the thought twisting at his stomach. He also wondered where Draco was, whether he was alright after being unceremoniously pushed aside back in the hallway.

The stone floor that he sat on sent a chill to slowly spread through Harry's body and he shivered at frigidity of it. He wondered if he would now feel cold forever, whether he would ever be able to warm up after what had taken place in this hallway. Surely life would never be the same. _He _would never be the same again. No matter what happened he could no longer run from the truth, he could no longer deny it to himself.

He was in love with Draco Malfoy.

"Did you ever love me, or has it all been a lie?" Ginny whispered softly, her question coming out of nowhere. The candid pain in her voice felt like a bucket of ice water being dumped over Harry's head.

"Of course I did. Of course I love you, I always will…just not the way you want me to." He breathed, hating how her face crumpled when he said it.

"I'm not sure if that's the answer I wanted. I think I'd prefer that you never loved me. At least then I'm not losing anything." A tear escaped and trickled down her cheek, and she roughly swotted it away whilst planting her gaze on the ceiling, obviously battling against the tears that begged to fall.

"I could never say that, Gin." Harry whispered, and he took a chance and reached for her hand. He was surprised when she didn't yank it away, but instead squeezed his fingers.

"I've loved you for so long, Harry. I thought we were going to be together forever. I never thought you'd be the one to break my heart…" She said softly, her voice breaking as she gazed at their linked hands.

"I'm sorry." It was all Harry could say. He had broken her heart, and if she'd let him, he'd say sorry as many times as it took for it to heal again.

Silence once again enveloped them, only this time it wasn't as charged. After a long while of gazing at each other, Ginny broke the quiet again.

"Do you really love him?" She breathed.

Harry took a deep breath and leaned his head against the wall behind him. He really didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want to talk about his love for Draco when he had managed to destroy any chance of being with the other boy. However, he did owe it to Ginny to tell her the truth. So, with a heavy heart, he answered.

"Yes, and you wanna know something ironic? The only person I've admitted that to… is you. I haven't even told _him_." He swallowed the lump of pain in his throat, and met Ginny's gaze, and was shocked to find a sympathetic frown on her pale face.

"He doesn't love you?" She asked softly. Her eyes probing his face, taking in every feature.

Harry sighed, and wished it were that simple. Wished it was just a case of unrequited love. He felt a stab to his heart as he recalled Draco, once again, whispering to him.

"_Oh, I love you, Harry."_

"Like I said…I've fucked everything up." He murmured, shaking his head at his stupidity.

"How?" Ginny enquired, and she seemed to genuinely want to know what had happened.

"I got scared. I panicked when he told me he loved me, and I told him I didn't feel the same. I broke it off the day you and I got back together." He cringed as he recalled that day, the day he had left Draco in the hospital wing. He had felt wretched then, but even more so now knowing what Draco had endured at the Manor on the day of his mother's funeral.

Ginny's frown deepened as she gazed at him "Wait, wasn't that the same day he buried his Mother?" She asked, seemingly appalled at Harry's behaviour. "Talk about kicking someone when they're down."

Guilt slid through Harry's veins turning his blood to ice when he realised the double meaning behind her words. She obviously wasn't just talking about Draco. He shook his head shamefully

"I told you… I fucked it up." He sighed, and turned his head back toward the ceiling.

Harry felt the tears in his eyes slowly begin to escape again, but he couldn't brush them away. His arms hung like lead weights beside him, and he couldn't summon the strength to move them.

"Why were you kissing? If it's too late, if you've ruined everything; Why were kissing?" Ginny asked, sounding puzzled. Her hand clutched his painfully tight when she uttered the word 'Kissing' but that was the only indication that she was uncomfortable with the discussion.

Harry had no idea why she was reacting this way. By rights, she should have still been yelling at him, but this was one of the reasons he had first thought he could love the red head in the first place - She could be the most supportive friend. Even though Harry had wronged her so severely, she stayed by his side and talked to him.

"I don't know." He sniffed, his shoulder rising in a one sided shrug. And he was telling the truth, he honestly didn't know why he and Draco had kissed. It had just kind of happened. And for those few moments he and Draco had been together - Harry had been happier than he had been in weeks, months, years.

"I can't believe I'm saying this…but, go and sort it out. If he's the person you love, than you should be with him." Ginny announced. Her voice was clear and determined, and when Harry's head whipped around to meet her gaze he found her face set, too.

He couldn't fathom how she could be so selfless. For one small moment hope surged inside The Boy Who Lived, and he thought, for just a fragment of a second, that it would be O.K, that he could be as happy as he had been earlier, he could be with Draco. If Ginny could deal with this than surely…! But his hope evaporated when he pictured his friends, imagined their reactions. A shudder ripped through his body, and Ginny jumped from the suddenness of it.

"I can't." He whispered shaking his head. There was no way that he could go through all this again.

"Why not?" The red head demanded.

"Because I've already told you…I'll lose everyone. Ron, Hermione, you. You've all made your views very clear on what you think of Draco and…queers, was it?" He cringed as he repeated Ginny's earlier remark.

"You're more likely to lose them because of the lying, and even then…You would never lose Ron and Hermione." The certainty in her voice was almost enough to make him believe her. Not quite, though. He shook his head in disagreement.

Ginny reached over and roughly pulled Harry's face around to meet her gaze, her face hard.

"Look, Harry. I don't like Malfoy. However, if he is feeling the way I am now…and you say that you love him…then you will go and find him, and prove it to him."

"Gin-" He began to protest, but the girl cut him off.

"No. Enough excuses, Harry. All you've done so far is hurt people." She snapped, her hand gripping his face as he tried to turn away. The echo of Seamus saying the same thing earlier that day rang in his ears.

"Exactly-" He breathed.

"Then maybe you should go and fix it for at least one of those people. Before it really is too late."

"I can't lose my friends, Gin. Think about what their reactions would be, think about how Ron is going to take this…I can't" Harry cried, attempting to shake his head. Why couldn't she understand what he was saying? How could she not see how badly all of this would turn out?

Ginny's eyes flashed, and a look of annoyance appeared on her face.

"Harry, fuck everyone else. I'm your girlfriend! Well, I was. And if I can sit here and tell you to follow your heart - even if it leads to Draco sodding Malfoy - than everyone else should be able to handle it, too. They'll deal with it, because they love you. Just because they've made comments in the past, it doesn't mean they are going to outcast you. Don't let their ignorance ruin your happiness, Harry."

Harry gazed into her crystal blue eyes, full of pain and determination. He wanted to believe that what she was saying was true, but he couldn't shake the voices of his friends in his head, Ron's threat not to hurt his sister, and all the small minded things that had spilled from his and Hermione's mouths.

Harry looked at the girl beside him, and wondered again how she could be this way. How she could talk the man she loved into being with someone else. He was truly lucky to have a friend like Ginny Weasley. She really was one in a million, and he desperately wished he could take back all the pain he had made her feel.

"I don't understand, Gin. Why are you…" He breathed, a confused frown sliding on to his face as he peered into her beautiful blue eyes.

A sad smile slid across her lips, and she shook her head gently as though she were asking herself the same question. Breathed a soft sigh, she gazed into Harry's eyes.

"Because, I love you, Harry….enough to let you go." She whispered.

To Be Continued…

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A/N: Hey guys, thanks for reading, big love!

This chapter was one of the hardest things I have ever had to write, and yet it was one of the quickest - I wrote it in like an hour lol. It's based on the confrontation between myself and my ex when he came out, and most of the dialogue is verbatim (besides the Draco stuff obviously) I'm ashamed to admit that Ginny's reaction is identical to mine, and Harry's is pretty close to my ex's.

I didn't realise how difficult it would be to have the entire chapter completed, and I won't lie, when I read it through…I cried like a bitch lol. However, it has oddly lifted a weight from me that I didn't even realise I had, and it's helped me make peace with a few of my demons.

Thank you for letting me share it.

Until next time…xxx


	17. Could it be Magic?

I own nothing.

A/N: Hey guys! Chapter 17, Ta-da! Bloody hell, 17 chapters and I'm still not done! Lol. I spent the most beautifully sunny day in my parents garden writing this chapter, and even though I chose the only patch of shade available I managed to burn the entirety of my left arm when the sun shifted…and I didn't. Ouch.

If anyone wants to know who my inspiration for Harry and Draco are, check out John-Paul and Craig clips from the show Hollyoaks on Youtube. I love those guys!

Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed, so far. I love you all in equal measures.

P.S, I apologize for choppiness in this chapter, the P.O.V jumps around a bit, and I edited it during 'Britain's Got Talent' and was totally engrossed in the crying girl. (Fuck Susan Boyle, Shaheen to win!!!!) So, sorry again. x

Warning - There is swearing people, My mouth isn't regularly washed out with soap for nothing lol

_**Meghan7474 - You are entirely forgiven, my dear. I completely understand. Your mum only wants to keep you safe, and I have total respect for her. You have been an awesome friend to have and I'm so glad I met you. I'll be expecting an email from you in 3 years, Pcon lol.**_

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Chapter 17 - Could it be Magic? Reprise

Harry sat in the corridor long after Ginny had left. Her trailing footsteps and heavy heart weighed down on the Gryffindor's conscience like a anchor, holding him place - Fixing him in a overwhelming depth of despair that he knew he deserved. This was his penance. He had hurt Ginny, smashed her heart to pieces and there was nothing he could do to change that. All he could do was now was live with the guilt, and the inevitable consequence.

His mind drifted toward the alcove in which he had left Draco. He wondered if the blonde was still there, or if he had made an escape, worrying that if he stayed there Ginny would come back and brand him, too. He vaguely thought that he should let Draco know that Ginny wasn't going to be announcing what she had seen. He figured the blonde was probably stressing about a public announcement.

Ginny's words resounded in Harry's ears like an echo, bouncing around his brain, demanding his attention. He had done nothing but hurt people. He'd hurt Ginny, but worse than that…he'd hurt Draco. Admitting he loved Draco had been heart wrenching, but it had also felt like a weight had been lifted from him.

He loved Draco. He loved Draco Malfoy. He _loved_…

"I _love _him." Harry whispered into the empty corridor, realization hitting him like a brick in the face. "Oh, God… _I love him_."

A wave of comprehension washed over him and before he knew it he was hauling himself up from the frigid stone floor.

He had to find Draco, he had to tell him. He had to let the Slytherin know, once and for all, how he really felt.

Harry ran through the corridors, tracing his way back to the alcove, and finding it empty, his heart sank. He wasn't going to be deterred though, he carried on running, maybe the blonde had gone to lunch?

As he ran, Harry thought. Why had it been so difficult before? Why had it hurt so much to admit it, even to himself that he loved the other boy. Realization, once again, slammed into Harry.

Because of Ginny. Now his disguise had been removed, his camouflage had been spotted for what it really was - fake, he could see things more clearly. For the first time he could see himself for what he really was.

Gay. And in love with Draco Malfoy.

He cringed slightly, but pushed the reaction away. He re-thought it.

I'm gay, and in love with Draco.

The more times he thought it, the easier it became.

I love Draco. I love Draco. I'm gay, and I love Draco.

By the time he got to the top of the grand staircase it was a mantra in his head.

He could see Draco now, standing by the entrance to the dungeons, flanked by Pansy and Blaise, who seemed to be frantically whispering with him. The blonde's face was cold, set in a stone mask, but Harry could read him now, could see the hurt in his eyes, the lines of stress around his mouth.

Harry started forward, his foot connecting with the top step when he was tugged back.

Spinning around, he came face to face with a scowling Ron Weasley.

"Harry! What the hell was that about in Transfiguration? And why is my sister having to be consoled in the common room?" The red head asked, his tone making it clear that he expected answers.

Harry's gaze travelled from Ron's face to Draco's. What did he do, take the time to explain to Ron, or go and explain to Draco.

Best friend….or the boy he loved? Harry's feet made the decision for him as they began descending the staircase. Ron, however, grabbed a fist full of Harry's robes, yanking him back.

"Ron, I don't have time for this." Harry said desperately, trying to wrench his robes free for the red head's unrelenting grip.

"Why, what's going on?" Ron demanded, his face exasperated and concerned in equal measures.

Harry didn't have time to even contemplate answering Ron, as Hermione came rushing toward them.

"Harry, I can't believe you left Transfiguration! What were you playing at? And Ginny - " Hermione chastised only for Harry to cut her off

"Look, there's something I have to do. Let go of me Ron!" Harry said, finally managing to free himself from his friend's hold and stumbling backwards.

"No. What ever it is, it can wait! I want to know why Ginny's so upset and mumbling about you!" Ron demanded, his finger pointing threateningly at Harry's face. "What did you do?"

Harry's eyes searched Draco out and he was relieved to see that he hadn't moved from his position by the dungeons. He had to speak to him now. It felt to Harry that this would be the only moment he could do it, if he missed this opportunity then he would never get another chance.

Ron was still huffing beside him, and Harry did the only thing that felt right in that moment. He needed to get to the Slytherin, and in order to do that he had to be honest.

"Ginny and I have broken up." He said clearly, the guilt he had felt earlier sliding effortlessly back into place as he uttered the admission.

Ron and Hermione stared at Harry with differing expressions. Hermione seemed disheartened, her head turning distractedly in the direction of Gryffindor tower as though she wished she could comfort Ginny.

Ron looked livid. In the seconds that followed Harry's words, the red head's face became an alarming shade of puce as he stared at The Boy Who Lived with an expression of pure and utter disdain.

"What?!" Ron hissed, his voice dangerously quiet.

Harry's eyes flickered back to where Draco stood, and then back to Ron again.

"Oh, poor Ginny." Hermione's distracted voice interjected, which only furthered to anger Ron.

Harry's stomach began to bubble uneasily, and a red flag flew up inside his head. Was he getting this right? They didn't even know what had happened!

"What did you say to her this time?" Ron continued "I told you…"

"She broke it off with me, Ron." Harry whispered, gazing at Ron's face as though he were seeing it for the first time.

Hermione's head whipped round to face the two boys, a look of disbelief apparent in her clever eyes. Ron's expression mirrored Hermione's, only his disbelief was more blatant that his girlfriend's.

"Why?" He demanded, a frown springing to his face.

Harry shifted uncomfortably, his gaze once again flicking between Draco and back to his friend. He wasn't prepared to tell Ron yet. He hadn't factored having to tell his friend into the situation.

"Why?!" Ron snapped loudly, Harry's hesitation annoying the red head.

"Because there's someone else." Harry whispered.

A stunned silence fell over the trio. The rumble of students chattering from the bottom of the staircase seemed to increase in volume, deafening Harry who was trying to gauge his friend's next move.

Hermione was the first to break the silence.

"Harry!" She gasped, disappointment saturating her tone, causing Harry's stomach to clench painfully. "How could you?…Who is she?"

Ron's face drained of its colour, only to turn redder than it had initially been. His eyes flashed as he processed The Boy Who Lived's statement, and before Harry knew it Ron flew at him his hands clasping at the front of his robes, roughly yanking him towards him.

"Ron, let go of him!" Hermione squeaked, trying to pull his hands off Harry.

Ron however ignored her. "You've been cheating on my sister?!" He spat.

"Ron, I can explain" Harry said in a rush, desperately wanting to get away from the red head. Even though he had been expecting it, Ron's outburst took him by surprise, and Harry feared that if Draco saw the commotion he'd flee thinking that he'd be next on Ron's hit list.

"You don't need to explain!" Ron growled, savagely shaking the brunette. "I already know enough…"

A surge of rage swept through Harry. They didn't even know what they were talking about!

Furiously, Harry's hands slammed into Ron's chest, shoving him away and the red head stumbled backwards in astonishment. The flag that had sprang up in Harry's mind was flapping around angrily, and seeing red - Harry reacted.

"That's just it! You _don't_ know _anything!_ You never listen, you never see what's right in front of you!" He growled furiously, months worth of suppressed fear morphing into rage in an instant. "You don't know _anything_"

Ron's nostrils flared, and he shoved back at Harry "Is that right?" He mumbledmenacingly, glaring into Harry's emerald eyes.

"Harry?" Hermione whispered, her voice sounding hurt at his statement. He couldn't look at her though, his eyes were locked on Ron's blue that were so similar to Ginny's.

"I've been afraid of losing you guys for so long, for what?" He muttered "You never even considered that it may have been Ginny that had cheated! You both assumed it was me! What the hell does that tell you?" His voice gradually becoming louder until he was practically yelling in Ron's face.

He was aware that it had been him that had cheated, but that wasn't the point. The point was that they had no faith in him. They were too quick to think badly of him, and all he had ever tried to do was make them happy….at his own personal cost.

Hermione and Ron both had the decency to look guilty, exchanging an uncertain glance between themselves. He had obviously hit a nerve, he thought wryly.

"You don't know me at all. And…I don't know who you are anymore. What the hell was I doing worrying about what you'd think when…" Harry breathed, his eyes travelling to Draco who had begun walking toward the great hall. "When…" He muttered, and ignoring the other two thirds of the trio, Harry tore down the stairs, the only goal in his mind was getting to Draco before it was too late.

His abrupt departure bought him valuable time, as Ron and Hermione dumb struck by Harry's behaviour stood stationary for a few moments, giving him a chance to get Draco's attention.

He advanced on the blonde, uncaring that his friends were with him and called out his name as he pushed passed various students that were milling around the Entrance Hall. The Slytherin carried on walking, but Harry noticed the hand that Pansy placed on his back, noticed Blaise shift closer to the other boy. They had heard him…Draco had heard him.

"Wait, please. I need a word." He pleaded as he drew closer, aware of Hermione and Ron following after him calling his name, and not paying them a blind bit of notice.

Upon reaching the blonde, Harry, who was desperate by this point, extended his hand between Draco and Blaise and clamped his hand around the blonde's wrist. "Wait!"

Draco whipped round, tugging his hand from the Gryffindor's grip. His face was thunderous, and rather than deter Harry, it urged him on. He would remove that look from the Slytherin's face if it were the last thing he ever did.

"You can have two words, Potter, and you won't like either of them." Draco snarled, his eyes flashing from steely grey to bright sparkling silver. He wasn't going to let Harry do this. He wasn't going to be hurt again.

Harry's stomach clenched painfully at the venom that dripped from the Slytherin's words. He couldn't believe he was back here, back being hated by Draco Malfoy. His hands balled into tight fists as he tried to suppress the tremble that rippled through him.

"Please. Please, listen to me. Please." Harry begged, his throat constricting as he fought the urge to cry. _Please, don't say this is over._

If he thought his words would have any effect on the Slytherin he was sorely mistaken. "Leave me alone!" He sneered. "For good!" he added, his expression dead.

Draco could feel Pansy and Blaise standing stiffly beside him, both poised to strike if need be. Their glares were practically deadly, and Draco was vaguely impressed that Harry wasn't effected by them.

"No. No, I can't." Harry breathed, his head shaking defiantly as he kept his gaze locked on Draco's.

"Well, _try!_" Draco snapped. He wanted Harry to stop doing this, he wanted to stop hurting.

"Please. Listen to me." The Gryffindor persisted, taking a step closer to emphasise his need to talk to the blonde. "Please, I'm sorry"

Draco tore his gaze from Harry's as he felt his walls crumbling at the sound of desperation in the brunettes voice. His eyes landed on the gruesome twosome who were fighting their way towards them, both wearing identical expressions of disdain and confusion.

"Careful, you're being watched" Draco sneered, his eyes locking once more with Harry's.

He studied the Gryffindor's reaction with baited breath, searching for a flicker of panic or fear to cross The Boy Who Lived's face, and curiously he found neither.

"Let them watch, I don't care what they think, I don't care!…I'm _sorry_." Harry said, his tone absolutely level, completely genuine, and Draco fought the urge to listen to him, to believe him. He'd heard all this before, Harry had said all this before and here they were, doing it all over again. "Do you think I'm going to believe that…again!" He whispered.

Harry's face crumbled momentarily before rallying another look of determination. "I mean it. I'll shout it out loud if you want. I'm SORRY."

"It's too late, Potter. The damage is done. Now, if you go and flutter your eye lashes enough at the Weaslette she might forgive you." Draco snarled, trying and failing to appear uncaring.

Harry's emerald eyes widened, begged Draco to believe him. He shook his head again "No -" he breathed.

"_Yes_." Draco snapped, interrupting the brunette before he could say anything else, before he could shatter anymore of Draco's resolve. He had already given the Gryffindor more of his time than he deserved.

Harry wasn't given a chance to respond as Granger and Weasel finally made it across the Entrance Hall and stood behind him, their gazes flicking between Harry and Draco uncertainly.

"Harry?" Hermione said warily, placing a protective hand on the brunette's shoulder. The Slytherin was surprised when Harry shook it off, but not as surprised at Hermione who drew back her hand as though Harry had bitten her, a wounded expression crossing her face.

"Malfoy, why don't you just bugger off." Ron growled as he tried to stand in between Harry and the Slytherins.

"Shut up, Ron" Harry barked as he looked around the edge of Ron's lanky body, keeping his gaze firmly fixed on Draco. He didn't miss the tiniest of smiles that quirked the edges of Draco's mouth.

"What?" Ron asked incredulously, taking a step back and surveying his best friend's face to see if he was serious.

"You heard him Weasel, he said _shut up!"_ Draco sneered distastefully, staring at Harry curiously. He wanted to believe that this was happening, that Harry was actually standing up to his friends but he couldn't build himself up to fall again.

"I wasn't talking to you, you slimy little fag!" Ron spat maliciously, turning his attention to the Slytherin.

Draco felt Blaise jerk forward from beside him, and he swotted his arm in such a subtle movement that he was sure it was missed by everyone except them. Blaise held his position, however he still sprang to Draco's defence.

"Do you want a smack, Weaselby!" He hissed, and Draco felt an overwhelming surge of gratitude for his friend.

"Yes, you'd better watch your mouth!" Draco interjected, his glare deathly as he centred it on Ron, whose lip curled in malicious amusement.

"What are _you_ going to do?! - mince after me and hit me with your handbag!" He laughed, glancing at Harry to see if his joke had gotten the desired reaction.

The redhead seemed taken aback by The Boy Who Lived's thunderous expression.

"Ron…" Harry growled warningly, his fists clenching now to hold back from thumping the red head himself.

"Merlin, you really are as ignorant as you look, aren't you!" Draco sneered at Ron, disgust dripping from his words.

A bark of laughter from behind Harry echoed around them, drawing Draco's attention to Hermione.

"That's rich coming from you, Malfoy. You've spent the last 7 years being nothing _but _ignorant!" She scoffed, shaking her head incredulously. "Besides, it's not like he was saying anything that isn't true." She added with a smirk.

Harry, who was still gazing at Draco, felt the colour drain from his face at Hermione's remark. He couldn't believe she was being as small minded and as nasty as Ron.

"Hermione…" Harry whispered angrily, rage at his friends steadily building, bubbling away under his surface and he desperately tried to suppress it.

Draco looked at Hermione, a strange frenzied expression appearing on his pale face that scared Harry. For a fraction of a second his eyes locked with The Boy Who Lived and a small amount of challenge sparkled in their silvery depths .

"So fucking what, Mudblood?! I'm gay. Fucking live with it, you dirty little cretin" He said clearly, his voice beyond controlled, a far cry from the swirl of terror that was taking place his stomach, currently making him want to be sick. There was no going back now, though.

The group, that had begun to grow as people noticed the Slytherin-Gryffindor confrontation that was taking place, fell deafly silent, the only noise coming from Ron, whose barking laugh echoed around the Entrance Hall.

"Oh…ha…ha…I…knew it! What did…I tell you!" He guffawed, slapping his hand against Harry's back, who stiffly stumbled from the contact.

"Ron…" Harry seethed, his breathing so shallow he was afraid he would faint. How could he do that, how could he laugh in Draco's face like that? Was that what he was going to do to Harry?

"Is that why daddy tried to kill you, then? Didn't he want a queer for a son?" Ron smirked at Draco.

Draco's eyes flashed, and seeing the absolute fury and pain reflected in them caused Harry to see red. Flashing round and squaring up to the red head, Harry tried his hardest not to hit the other boy. His nose centimetres from his own, Harry glared at a shocked Ron.

"Shut up! For once in your life, Ron, just shut your fucking mouth, before I shut it for you!" He shouted, rage coursing through his veins setting them on fire.

"_Harry!" _Hermione gasped, but the Gryffindor ignored her.

How dare he! How dare Ron say that to Draco, how dare he say that to _his boyfriend_!

The word boyfriend shocked Harry to the core. That's how he thought of Draco, his boyfriend. His heart and mind had been trying to tell him that from the very first kiss they had shared, but the Gryffindor had tried to make their relationship seem less than what it was. All the time trying to convince himself they were just friends who kissed each other occasionally.

Draco had been his boyfriend, and even though Harry had wrecked it, he saw now that he loved him, loved the blonde entirely. Enough to risk losing his friends.

"No. I've had enough! I've had enough of living in the shadow of the outdated, bigoted crap that spills from your mouth every time you speak!… I've had enough of you!" Harry spat in Ron's face, taking a step closer, pushing the redhead back with his chest.

Ron seemed completely dumb founded by Harry springing to Draco's defence, and he was quick to voice his confusion. "What the hell is your problem, Harry?" He growled, his gaze flickering between Harry and Draco.

Draco's eyes flashed to the back of Harry's head and he realised that they didn't know. The Weaslette hadn't announced what she had seen, and his friends were still in the dark. And if that were the case, the realization that seemed to be dawning on Ron's face needed to be halted, before Harry's secret was revealed.

"I don't recall asking you to fight my battles for me, Potter!" Draco said to Harry's back. He wished desperately that the Gryffindor would take the hint and go away.

Harry slowly turned around and faced him, an expression of shame and remorse painted across his pale features. This was it, this was the time to prove to Draco that he meant what he said, that he meant he was sorry with all of his heart.

"No. You shouldn't have to ask." He said softly, swallowing the lump of fear that constricted his throat, attempting to stop him from speaking. "Your battles are my battles, and I've been letting you fight them alone for too long. And I'm sorry." He added, gazing into Draco's eyes, pouring as much sincerity into his words as he could muster.

Draco's eyes widened slightly, but other than that his expression didn't change, and if he was honest Harry hadn't expected it to.

"Harry, what the hell is going on?" Ron asked, his voice faint as though he were on the urge of passing out. The Gryffindor continued to ignore him as he gazed at Draco.

"I've completely screwed everything up until this point, because I was afraid." He whispered, turning to Ron and defiantly continuing "Afraid of having the one thing I want most in the world in case I lost my _friends_." he shook his head disappointedly and turned back to Draco "But now I realize that losing you is far worse than anything they can do to me." He finished, the last few words coming out strangled as the urge to cry became overwhelming. He desperately pushed back the tears that began to blur his vision, blinking until he was sure they wouldn't fall.

Every single person in the entrance hall stood in absolute shock, barely daring to breathe in case it interrupted the epic scene that was unfolding in front of them.

Harry drew in a shaky breath, and tried to shut out his audience. He knew the time had come to bare his soul, and even though this wasn't how he had pictured it, it would be perfect because he was finally saying it. Taking a step towards Draco, and feeling a slight pinprick of hope when the Slytherin didn't shift away, Harry plunged on.

"So, you can keep your two words Dray, and have three more from me…I love you." He announced, his voice clear and unrelenting. A weight soared from him as he said it out loud, and he felt a tiny smile quirk at the corner of his mouth as he gazed at the blonde.

Draco swallowed, fighting the urge to pass out as he processed Harry's statement.

He loved him. He had said he loved him, in front of his friends - in front of everyone. He felt Pansy brush his hand slightly, as though telling him to respond, but he just couldn't get his brain to send the message to his mouth to speak.

"Harry?" He heard Hermione gasp. "Harry, what are you _doing_?"

Draco gazed at Harry, willing it all to be true. He wasn't sure if he could handle the Gryffindor taking this back, now.

"Something I should have done a long time ago." Harry interjected, his gaze still locked on Draco's. He took another cautious step forward, his eyes pleading the blonde to believe him. "I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry I've hurt you, I'm sorry I left you and I'm sorry that I've wrecked any chance of being with you. I'm an idiot…but I love you." He whispered, a watery smile pulling at his mouth as his eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I'll do anything, I will spend everyday telling you how sorry I am if you will just give me another chance."

"You've split up with my sister for him, a bloke, a _Malfoy_!?" Ron spat from behind Harry, and for the first time during the confrontation, the brunette's eyes closed in shamed disappointment. It was really going to come to this, he was really going to lose his friends.

Draco watched the pain flash across Harry's face as the Weasel spoke, and when his eyes fell closed in agony, he reacted.

"You know what Weasley, it shouldn't matter who the hell he loves! You should just be happy that he has found someone who loves him and who he loves in return." Draco shouted, incredulous disbelief at Harry's so called friends loyalty. When Harry had spoken of their homophobia, the blonde had thought the Gryffindor was exaggerating slightly, but now he was witnessing it for himself he understood Harry's reluctance to announce their relationship, understood why Harry had ran from their relationship.

His friends were arseholes!

"Pansy. Blaise." He said, and he felt his friends hold their heads up and turn almost simultaneously in his direction. "Do you care that I'm in love with Harry 'saves the world and is a Gryffindor with twats for friends' Potter?" He asked, a confident smirk on his face as he watched Ron's face become redder with each passing second. He knew his friend's responses before they even had a chance to utter them. He knew that, even if they despised the idea of Draco being with Harry, they would rather chew their own arms off than admit that to Ron Wealsey, especially after the performance he had just put on. They wouldn't allow themselves to be put in the same category as a homophobic idiot like the Weasel.

"It's up to you, Draco. None of our business." Blaise muttered, inspecting his nails as though he didn't actually care what was happening around him. Draco, however, knew that his friend was almost as nervous as he was himself, and he allowed himself a small smile. _His_ friends were awesome.

"You Gryffindor's think you're better than the rest of this school. You think you're the pillars of virtue and morality, and yet look at the way you treat someone who is supposed to be your friend! You make me sick!" He sneered at Ron, and surprisingly a murmur of agreement echoed around the hall.

Harry's eyes slid open and locked with Draco's, and a tear he had no control over brimmed over and trickled down his cheek.

"It's because of you that the last 3 weeks of my life have been hell…and I am not having it anymore…I'm not letting you do this anymore." Draco growled, his gaze flickering from Ron and back to Harry in an instant, as though he couldn't bare to keep his eyes from The Boy Who Lived for a second longer than necessary.

His own statement ploughed into him and he understood the truth in his words, his earlier vow to himself choosing that moment to present itself.

"I won't let this happen anymore." He added in a whisper, and he gazed at Harry's face with pain ripping through him at what he was about to say.

"I'm sorry, but you're too late. I won't let you…" He trailed off and he was mortified to find tears collecting in his eyes.

He looked away from the brunette before he had a chance to change his mind, and pushed his way passed him and through the crowd that had gathered around them toward the dungeons. He had to get away, he had to escape.

Harry clenched his eyes closed as pain shuddered through his body. His trembling hands reached up and he pressed his face into them as salty tears began to saturate his cheeks. He had blown it.

"Potter." He heard Pansy hiss urgently in his ear. Whipping his hands away from his face he found the Slytherin girl stood in front of him, a look of pure irritation on her face. "Do something." She demanded, grabbing his shoulder roughly and spinning him around. "Do _something!_" and she pushed him forward.

Harry didn't have a clue what he was supposed do. He had already said everything that could be said, what did Pansy expect for him to do?

As she spun him around, Harry came face to face with Hermione who seemed absolutely dumb struck at what was happening. For the first time since Harry had met her, the Gryffindor girl was at a total lose. Her head shook slightly as though clearing it, and shooting a nervous glance at her boyfriend, who was still staring at Harry with disdain, she whispered to Harry. "Do it. Whatever you have to do, do it. Stun him if you have to."

The Boy Who Lived stared at her a fraction of a second before searching out Draco. He could see his blonde head weaving its way toward the dungeons and he scrambled for something to do, when Hermione's words sunk in. Stun him…magic.

"Spirits move me" He shouted, hoping above all hopes that Draco could hear him. "Every time I'm near you…whirling like a cyclone in my mind"

Draco's head froze in the sea of people, and those around him backed away leaving a path clear for Harry to see him clearly.

"You're my lifeline, angel of my lifetime…answer to all answers I can find." He continued, his voice shaky as he called the words out rather than singing them.

Draco stared at the entrance to the dungeons in stunned bemusement. His heartbeat began to thunder inside his chest as Harry's voice rang out around him.

"Baby I want you… come, come, come into my arms…let me know the wonders…of all of you"

Draco squeezed his eyes closed, willing his feet to carry him the rest of the way to the dungeons but he simply couldn't move.

"Could it be magic?…now, now, now and hold on fast. Could this be the magic at last?"

Draco spun around, vaguely surprised that their audience had parted and he could now clearly see Harry, and his eyes locked with the Gryffindor's. His breathing near hyperventilation as he processed what Harry had just said. Could it be magic? The memory slammed into Draco with such force he almost stumbled when it hit.

"_**The answer was yes" Harry said simply, as though he were saying it to himself.**_

_**A confused frown drifted across Draco's face and Harry laughed when he realised how strange he must've sounded.**_

"_**Huh?" The Slytherin asked, thoroughly confused.**_

"_**Oh, it was just… something I thought about when.. You know, when we met in the tower.. The first time. There was just a question that came to my mind when I thought about you and I. It's nothing, forget it" Harry babbled, feeling like an idiot. He tried to turn his head away only for the Slytherin to reach up and take a hold of his chin turning it back so they were making eye contact again. **_

_**Draco smiled softly as he asked "If the answer was yes, what was the question?"**_

_**Harry leaned in and captured the Slytherin's lips once again in a perfectly tender kiss that they could happily loss their selves in. After a few moments Harry pulled away from the other boy's mouth and slowly planted a trail of sweet kisses along his jaw until he reach Draco's ear. He breathed in the smell of his hair and with a blissful sigh he whispered softly "Could it be Magic?"**_

Draco swallowed, as a tear slid down his face. Harry gazed at him, desperation painted across his face as he began taking tentative steps toward him.

Draco glanced at the people around him, all watching in anticipation. He could feel a hundred eyes on him as he stood rooted to the spot, and he wished he could disappear. Harry advanced on him, his words echoing around his head. Could it be magic?

"I can continue…there's another verse…." Harry said, coming closer to Draco. The Slytherin, once again, glanced around at the crowd, and his eyes met Pansy's for a fraction of a second. With a small nod and smile she looked away. Draco had no idea what the nod was for, and he had no time to contemplate it as Harry drew up in front him.

The Gryffindor looked terrible, his face was red and blotchy, his eyes bloodshot…and he'd never looked so perfect.

"I love you." Harry whispered, more tears beginning to pool in his sparkling emerald eyes, and Draco felt his heart melt in his chest.

With a shuddery sigh, Draco nodded his head, his eyes sliding closed and opening again in the same instant. "I love you, too." He laughed shakily.

Pansy's nod was explained when the moment Harry's lips crashed against Draco's in a desperate, frantic kiss, the Slytherin girl caught the whole hall's attention when she yelled -

"_I love Seamus Finnegan!_"

To Be Continued…

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A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing, I love you all x


	18. The Happily Ever After Epilogue

A/N: Hey guys! Chapter 18, Ta-da! Wow, the final chapter *sobs* I can't believe I'm finally done with this story. My boys have been through so much, I almost feel mean letting them out into the big wide world alone.

I'd just like to thank every single person who has read, reviewed, favoured or placed alerts on this fic. I am unbelievably grateful that you have taken a small portion of your lives and concentrated on something that I have created, and the fact that you have taken the characters and their 'adventures' into your hearts is an amazing feeling. I love you all x

Meghan 7474 - You helped me through so much of this story that I cannot let you go by unrecognised. You were a fabulous beta, and if it had not been for you I would have given up by chapter 3. Thank you so much for your support, and for your friendship. I really will be waiting for that email. x

_**This story is dedicated to Archie - The apple of my eye and the pain in my arse. I love you more than anything my little Spiderman, and I thank your daddy for loving me enough to help create you. You definitely are magic - no 'could be' about it, and I treasure every moment I spend with you. Thank you for filling my every day with laughter and priceless moments that I'm sure to embarrass you with when you bring home your first sweetheart. All my love, little prince. Spider-mum xxx**_

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Chapter 18 - The happily ever after - Epilogue.

Draco's eyes slid around the room full of people, making sure he looked at every face in the immediate vicinity before making his move. It was a covert operation he was undertaking, and he could, under no circumstances, be caught out.

When he was absolutely certain that no one was looking in his direction, he swung his right arm, that had been clasping his left hand behind his back, and swiftly scooped his index finger along the soft creamy icing of the enormous wedding cake he was standing beside, and deftly disposed of the evidence by sucking it from his finger with a sigh of ecstasy.

"If Harry sees you doing that, he'll cut your fingers off." A smooth voice sniggered from beside him, and Draco slowly pulled his finger from his mouth, savouring the sugary explosion that was taking place in his mouth, before turning to the person who had caught him.

"Blaise, you know as well as I do that I have Harry wrapped around my little finger. All I'd have to say is 'Paris' and he'd feel so guilty he'd let me eat the entire cake." Draco smirked, his eyebrows rising in confidence at his statement.

"You're still using that against him? It's been 6 years, Draco! Give the guy a break." Blaise said incredulously, shaking his head at the blonde's vindictiveness towards the man he was supposed to love. "Merlin, if I were Harry I'd _throw_ the entire cake _at_ you."

Draco chuckled to himself as he pulled at the bow tie around his neck, trying his best to loosen the stranglehold it had on him without messing it up. As much as he told Blaise the contrary, Harry could actually be just as mean as Draco, and the blonde tried his level best to stay on the ex-Gryffindor's good side.

"Oh, come on Blaise, he wouldn't throw it at me - he's looking forward to eating it as much as I am!" Draco scoffed, rolling his eyes. _Luckily _he added in his head.

His eyes drifted across the wedding guests and towards the dance floor where Harry was dancing without co-ordination or concern with Ginny Weasley. The blonde chuckled affectionately as he took in the no-mans land surrounding them as the other dancers gave them a wide birth for fear of being trampled by the enthusiastic pair.

Ginny's red hair swirled around them like a ring of fire as Harry spun her around, her shimmering blue dress flapping around Harry's feet in serious danger of being stood on by The Boy Who Lived. Their laughter rang out even over the music and chatter, and Draco found himself gazing at them in awe and adoration.

Harry and Ginny's friendship was one that Draco had never thought could be possible after how their relationship had ended, but they had managed to somehow emerge from the disaster with one of the strongest bonds imaginable.

Draco had come to find Ginny rather likable, though he was loath to admit it to Harry, and even though they had been on good terms since they had left Hogwarts, he still called her Weaslette. He figured it was a shame to waste such a cute pet name.

A sad frown crossed Harry's face as his eyes landed on the far corner of the hall, causing his laughter to change from being free and light to forced in an instant. Draco was sure he was the only person in the room that detected the minor shift in sound, but after all the years spent with The Boy Who Lived, the blonde could read Harry like his favourite novel. Draco knew the only reason the ex-Gryffindor would become so disheartened, and as Draco's eyes followed his line of vision, his theory was confirmed when his gaze fell on Hermione and Ron.

The other two thirds of the once infamous golden trio stood alone, away from the laughing dancers and chatting guests eating at random tables around the dance floor. Their presence was one that surprised Draco, as he had been almost certain that the pair would decline the invitation. However, they had shown up, and even though they had spent the day separated from the other guests in their own little bubble of Gryffindorishness, they'd had the decency to at least show a speck of support for their one time friend.

Blaise, seeing the blonde's scowl, followed his line of sight and shook his head when it landed on the anti-social pair.

"Merlin, Granger's gotten fat, hasn't she?" He sniggered, raising his champagne flute to his smirking mouth. "I thought they were too poor to eat!"

Draco rolled his eyes and switched his focus back to Harry, who was once again lost in his madcap dance with Ginny.

"Firstly, Granger has been a Weasley for well over a year now. Secondly, she earns more money that you, Zabini. And thirdly, she isn't fat - She's pregnant, you moron." He said in a bored tone.

He really disliked having to waste his breath talking about the couple, after the all the times he'd had to spend consoling a devastated Harry because of them. He was sure that he'd be spending tonight doing just that - reassuring Harry that his friends were at fault for the wall of misunderstanding and hostility that stood between them, and that he, who had tried his level best to settle the animosity, was entitled to be happy even if they couldn't be happy for him.

"Good Merlin, more Weasel half breeds? Don't they already have a litter of ginger mongrels to contend with?" Blaise asked incredulously, shuddering to himself. Blaise and kids didn't mix.

"They have _one_. A girl, I think. Though it _is_ a very ugly looking girl, it could easily pass for a boy. Harry has convinced himself that it's cute, but you know what he's like, he still won't have a bad word said about them even after the way they've been." Draco sighed.

Blaise sipped his champagne, sending his own small glare of disdain towards the pair. He liked to think of himself as a die hard Slytherin, however he had come to really like Harry over the years, and had found The Boy Who Lived had his own fair share of Slytherin qualities. It had made him a lot more likeable in Blaise' opinion.

"Do you think they'll ever get used to it? I mean, today of all days, should show them how unimportant old rivalries are. They're at _this_ wedding for Merlin's sake! No one else seems to care." Blaise muttered angrily.

Draco had asked himself the same question more times than he could count. He had thought after the initial shock of finding out that, not only was Harry gay, but in love with Draco - the very epitome of evil in their eyes - they would eventually come round. That once they saw how comfortable The Boy Who Lived became in his own skin, how relaxed and carefree and happy he was, that they would maybe look beyond the difficult bits - if only to save their friendship.

However, it had never happened. Yes, they were civil now, could stand to be in each other's presence, could spend a few hours together at a dinner party or a baby shower, but anything beyond that was impossible. Ron's temper coupled with Draco's fierce protection of Harry always ended in disaster, with Hermione and Harry having to be led away by their respective partners in tears.

"If they haven't gotten used to it after 6 years, I don't think there is much hope for the future. Apparently gay rights and house equality haven't quite reached the Mugglelovers. It just pisses me off that they keep upsetting Harry. I mean fair enough, they have their views - good for them, let them get on with it - but must they continue to upset Harry? Can't they just let it go?" Draco growled, his hand flashing up and running through his hair in irritation. He knew that he was messing it up, but he honestly didn't care.

A tinkling sound echoed around the room, the music that had been booming moments before cutting off instantly, making the dancers groan with disappointment.

"We've come to the point in the evening for the speeches -" The band's singer announced as his band mates began to descend from the stage. "So, if everyone could make their way to their seats, and can we have the wedding party at the head table please?" He added, before hopping down from the stage and making a bee line for the bar.

Draco did his best to adjust his hair to a semblance of order before he and Blaise made their way over to the head table. Draco chewed his lip nervously as he tried to go over the key points of his speech.

Love, Friendship, Blah, blah, blah. The speech was the only part of the day that he had truly dreaded.

Draco's gaze fell on a smiling Harry and he felt himself relax instantly. The Boy Who Lived's emerald eyes sparkled with so much love and adoration as the focused on Draco, that the blonde was momentarily lost in the strange portions of time that occurred when he looked at Harry - it was like the room melted away and time stood still, and all of that cliché stuff that he used to scoff at. Looking at Harry during one of these moments reminded Draco just how much he loved the brunette, and how much the brunette had changed his life. _Love_ had changed his life.

"Love." Draco announced to the room when they had all settled. He stood with his champagne flute in his hand and tried his best to stop it from trembling as every eye in the hall focused on him.

"It knows no bounds, no race, gender, house or belief system. If love chooses you, it chooses you for life. As is made obvious by this very wedding.

"Now, I know it's a bit odd having me standing here, but lack of tradition is a strong theme today. A Gryffindor/Slytherin union is something that doesn't happen very often, but when it does it is the most unbreakable union known to man, because the union was fought for - and the strongest relationships are always the ones that are fought for." Draco said, his eyes landing on Harry, a soft smile on his face, before focusing on the guests.

"I remember the day Pansy and Seamus' relationship was revealed to the entire school." Draco smiled, his gaze turning to Pansy who was sat beside him, her billowing white gown surrounding her making her look as though she were buried in snow. Her smile was so big, Draco could almost be fooled into believing she had a coat hanger wedged in her mouth.

"It was the last day before Christmas holidays in 7th year, and their relationship had been kept a closely guarded secret for months, until the day Pansy decided it would be the perfect diversion for something else that was happening…" Draco trailed off, shaking his head at the fond memory.

"I spoke to Seamus when Pansy asked me to be her best man and I asked him what had gone through his mind that day - when their relationship had been thrust into the public light - and he told me that, when he eventually came to and was reassured that he didn't have concussion from landing on his head when he fainted, -" A murmur of laughter echoed around the guests, and Draco allowed himself a small indulgent smile before continuing

" -He said he was the happiest bloke in Hogwarts." At this point Draco glanced at Harry and they exchanged a disbelieving amused glance.

"He told me that he knew from that very moment that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Pansy, that even though there was a chance of losing every friend he had it was worth it to be with someone so amazing." This time Draco's gaze landed on Dean Thomas who was sat beside Seamus, a large smile pulling at his mouth as he and his best friend patted each other affectionately on the back.

"He said that love had changed him, and it had changed him for the better. That Pansy was the single most important person in his life, and she always would be. Slytherin or not."

A murmur of aahs echoed around the guests, and Draco sensing his escape grabbed it.

"So, I'd like you all to raise you're glasses for a Slytherin and a Gryffindor who found that love doesn't care which house you belong to, so long as you are in when it comes knocking. Pansy and Seamus, may you have a long and happy life together." Draco announced, and received a chorus of 'Pansy and Seamus' from the room.

"You hurt her and you will have _no_ life!" Draco warned Seamus in an undertone, before laughing and clapping him on the back.

When the speeches were over, Pansy and Seamus floated over to the dance floor and had their first dance whilst the guests admired how perfect they looked together. After a few moments other couples began to join them.

Harry and Draco crossed the dance floor from opposite sides and met in the middle, identical smiles pasted on both of their faces.

Harry's arm weaved around Draco's waist and pulled him forward, gripping the blonde's right hand in his left, demanding the lead position. Draco gave up his masculinity for the dance and draped his left arm on Harry's shoulder, his mouth close to his ear, breathing in his scent.

"Well done, I told you you'd be great didn't I?" The Boy Who Lived breathed in his ear, and the blonde shuddered as it feathered across his face deliciously.

Draco sighed, happy to be back in Harry's arms. "Yes, you did. I can assure you that your faith will be rewarded." He smiled as he let his tongue flick out and brush Harry's earlobe. A small moan rumbled in the brunettes throat and Draco grinned when Harry pulled him closer, his lips pressing against the hollow just below Draco's ear.

"I'll hold you to that." He whispered.

Draco's grin morphed in to a content smile when Harry's lips began to trace a trail of kisses along his jaw and then pressed against Draco's own.

A sigh escaped the blonde when Harry pulled back, one of his eyebrows rising slightly as he gazed into Draco's eyes.

"I love you." He breathed, his lips touching against Draco's again, his tongue running along the length of his lower lip before pulling back.

"You've been eating that bloody icing again, haven't you! -" The Boy Who Lived accused, bringing their joined hands in front of them so he could prod Draco's lips with his index finger without having to break contact.

" -Christ, they haven't even cut it yet, Dray. They're going to get over there in a minute, think they've got this gorgeous cake that they've paid _shitloads _for, and what will they find? A great big icing-less patch where you've been- oomph" Draco cut Harry's babblings off by pulling his head forward and kissing him.

Making sure he gave it a good amount of effort that was sure to distract Harry for at least 5 minutes, Draco pulled away and smiled at his boyfriend.

"Stop trying to sound like an old women, Harry. You're arse is far too sexy to for it, and I'm not even listening to you." Draco smiled, his fingers drifting into theback of Harry's hair, caressing the strands affectionately.

Harry rolled his eyes, and realising that he may as well be speaking to himself - he gave up. He rested his head against the side of the blonde's and they swayed in a loose circle, neither paying much attention to footwork as the drifted through the music change. The more up-tempo beat was lost on them and they maintained their slow movements, listening to the other's breathing and occasional sighs of contentment.

Draco let his mind wander, and he found himself thinking about his 7th year at Hogwarts. The most devastatingly perfect year of his life.

He remembered how Harry had saved him from his father, from himself. So much had taken place, so many awful and wonderful experiences that Draco was sure he would never forget. And he had emerged with the most sacred gift anyone could ever give or receive…Love.

"Hey guys, can I just interrupt?" A voice floated into their bubble of happiness, and they simultaneously turned their heads to face a smiling Dean Thomas who was holding an impressive video camera against his eye.

"If I say no, will you piss off?" Draco smirked good naturedly, receiving a weary glare from Harry.

Laughing, Dean answered. "No, I won't. Pans and Seamus want everyone to record a message, so if you hurry up and do it, _then_ I'll piss off." He grinned, recording the whole conversation.

Draco's eyebrows shot up at the black man's statement. Pansy wanted everyone to record a message? Surely it was just so she could take the piss out of the guests later on! He thought wryly.

"Go ahead, Dean. What do you want us to say?" Harry asked, pulling this and Draco's joined hands against his chest.

"The one thing that anyone who has ever met the two you has asked themselves…. What's the secret to your success? How have you manage not to kill each other" Dean asked with a huge grin.

Draco and Harry looked at each other and laughed. It was true, as much as they loved each other and couldn't be without the other, they still had their explosive moments. They were so different that sometimes it wasn't clear to others what kept them together, and sometimes they didn't even know themselves. All they did know was that their love was permanent, unbreakable.

With a crooked smile that made Draco's heart skip a beat, Harry turned to Dean and laughed "The secret of our success? Try as we might, that's something we're still figuring out."

_Still figuring out,  
How to stay like this forever,  
Still figuring out,  
Today, today, yeah.  
Just cruising around,  
And knowing that we will never go our separate ways. _

The End.

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Thank you for reading and reviewing, and for the amazing amount of support for this story. It truly means the world to me. Big love xxx


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